Posts Tagged ‘Voorhees

29
Jul
12

The Primal Root’s Rotten Reviews Ep. 25: Deathstalker

Hey Gang!

WHEW! Sorry about the wait! It’s been a crazy few months since I last reported back to you with a Rotten Review.  I never expected for things to get crazier than they did when I reviewed From Beyond and  accidentally went dimension hopping with a tentacle sporting dominatrix chick,  learning the fine art of optical cavity oral sex, battling tentacle creatures from Hell and stimulating my pineal gland…All Root ever wanted was a quiet evening behind the purple counter at Tallahassee’s last standing video rental store, Video 21.

Alas, I soon realized as I always do,  there is NEVER a quiet night when there’s Trash Cinema to be watched.  So, in the latest Rotten Review adventure, prompted by a strange customer clad in nothing but a chain mail banana hammock and a double bladed axe, I decided to check out an all time favorite, low rent, down and dirty, sword and sorcery, blood soaked, magic fueled, TnA heavy pieces of Trash Cinema Gold, 1983’s  ‘Deathstalker’!

So come along with me and let’s check out some of our Trash cinema heritage and try to survive a little bit of spacial displacement.  It’s all in a days work for The Primal Root!  Prepare yourself for: Mutant Beatles, people so sweaty they look like glazed doughnuts,  multiple molestations, topless large breasted sword fighting, simultaneously funny and disturbing gender bending, giant pig monsters, lots of wrastling, homoerotic overtones, hardcore parties, bloody Mortal Kombat,  bitter filthy Muppets in caves and that’s just what I can think of off the top of my head as I recuperate! And what would a Trash Cinema event be if you didn’t make some new friends? And, holy cow, did I make some incredibly sexy, and brutal ones this time out!

So, without any further a due, I present to you the latest exploits of your buddy Root in The Primal Root’s Rotten Reviews Episode 25: Deathstalker!

Stay Trashy!

-Root

<p><a href=”http://vimeo.com/96762262″>(NSFW) Deathstalker (1983) The Primal Root’s Rotten Reviews Episode 25</a> from <a href=”http://vimeo.com/user24396091″>Kevin Cole</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

27
Jan
11

Mistress Barbie’s Advice for the Damned: Mother Issues and Anger Managment

Dear Mistress Barbie: My name is Jason and I feel I always have to hide my true self. I hide behind masks to disguise the person I have become. As a lonely hermit, I am quickly angered when people disturb me. The worst part is my controlling mother who is always nagging me and it’s driving me crazy. It seems like I am so unlucky, like every day is one long Friday the 13th. Sometimes I walk along Camp Crystal Lake to try to clear my head but often end up taking my rage out on the people around me. Blaming others for my life problems seem to be better then accepting the truth. I try to find creative ways to express my anger but others are not always as appreciative of my ability to slash through my problems. Often I feel lifeless and realize there are no words that will let me forget or make any of the things I feel go away. I have gone to hell and back trying to keep my secrets buried but they will not stay dead. The terrible nightmares I have keep me up at night. It’s almost like I am controlled by the demons in my dreams in which I have to fight for control.

– MAMA’S BOY IN CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE

 

DEAR MAMA‘S BOY:

A mask is something we are not born with and those who decide to put one on comprise their own humanity. You do not want to be just another man in a mask. Save the mask for Halloween and get over your social phobias. Taking your frustrations out on the world is not going to fix the problems you have with your mom.  It is time to examine your superstitious behavior and listen to the inner voices that are reinforcing them so you can see it as a sign that there is a problem in your life. You need to sit down with your mom and tell her how your special bond is making you psycho. Solve your problems instead of slicing them into submission! The energy you are spending to hide your secrets is slowly sucking the life out of you. The demons in your nightmare will only be as real as you make them. Only you can solve the puzzle box that you have enclosed yourself in and escape your condemnation of hell.

Utilizing effective anger managment techniques.

01
Aug
10

Mrs. Stray, Devil Girl of the Month: August

Hey Gang!

As you know, this month holds a special place in this Trash Collector’s heart, for it brings us the 30th anniversary of the launch of one of the most prolific trash cinema horror franchises in history, Friday the 13th.  And what better way to get the blood spattering off to an awesome start than with this gorgeous and blisteringly sexy set from the Trash Cinema Collective’s very good friend, Mrs. Stray.

These pictures are just beautiful. It almost makes the Legend of Camp Blood read like a fairy tale.

A lonely, day dreaming counselor at Camp Crystal Lake wasting her day away by the Lake’s placid shores. An undead, decayed murderous mongoloid spending an unending lifetime hunting down those who wonder into his woods. Two lonely souls both looking for something more on this…Friday the 13th.

Photography by Kerri McConnell

Stay Trashy!




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