Posts Tagged ‘Trash

15
Jul
18

Tearing the Heart Out of Saturday Night: Happy Trails, Joe Bob Briggs

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by The Primal Root

I was in middle school and staying over at my Grandparents house for the Christmas holiday. My parents were recently divorced, puberty was kicking in full throttle, we were moving into new places, my parents were always upset and I was, to put it bluntly, a wreck. I had no siblings to talk to, no one to confide in, it was the beginning of the realization that I, for the most part in life, would always be pretty much alone. I was staying up late in my Grandparent’s den and flipping through the channels, no doubt devouring their bag of Cap Cod Potato chips and slurping down cans of Coke. It was the typical mid 90’s hodgepodge of reruns, sports highlight reels, and laundry lists of current political strife scandal and tragedy. TV was a terrible way to cheer up a teenage boy going through deeply troubling changes in his life and coping with the knowledge that everything you thought you knew was about to change forever and you were now becoming a pawn for two people who mean the world to you to hurt one another.

But then I stopped flipping channels when I came across this smiling joker in Western wear sitting in a lawn chair outside a trailer. He was listing Drive-In Totals, speaking of Blood, Breasts and Beasts, laughing, telling incredibly interesting stories about movies he was about to show, and get this, the movies were always cheesy, weird B-Movies and stuff that was normally completely outside the mainstream, stuff mocked and shoved aside and left in the dust pan of history the majority of cinema goers. I immediately knew I had found a kindred spirit and a cool, funny, surrogate brother who I could rely on to be there every Saturday and remind me that I wasn’t totally alone in my passions, my interests or, maybe, in life.

I certainly know I’m not alone in this sentiment. I am now 36 years old and owner of my own video rental store and one screen micro cinema where for a recent 24 hour period I watched Joe Bob Brigg’s Last Drive-In surrounded by a group of the same folks, also now in their 30’s, who made a habit out of watching TNT’s MonsterVision with Joe Bob Brig’s every Saturday night. And as he hosted 13 remarkable sleazy exploitation horror movies, cult and arthouse films, telling jokes, stories and ranting on about the current state of affairs in the world, he would also read letters from the Mail Girl, just like in the glory days. The majority of these letter consisted of middle aged adults, just like myself, pouring over how much Joe Bob meant to them growing up by reenforcing that it was okay to be different and find the joy in what you are into. He taught us to not take it all so dog gone seriously and that our thoughts on how absurd life was, how unfair and ruthless life could be, we all had the ability to find the humor, joy and beauty in our lives, just like we do in those cheesy, outcast movies I grew up to fondly refer to as Trash Cinema.

The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Brigg’s was a remarkable experience. The lineup was a smorgasbord of wonderful horror and cult cinema, interspersed with Joe Bob’s one of a kind witty banter, rants and loving remembrances of the movies he was showing and all the folks who took a part in making them, it was once again a glorious celebration of the underdog and the shared community all of us underdogs live in.

THE LINEUP from 9pm Friday July the 13th to Whenever it actually ended Saturday July the 14th :

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Tourist Trap: This is one that Joe Bob and I have always seen eye to eye on as one of those gems of a horror movie that is so eerie, batshit crazy and unusual that it keeps you on your toes throughout wondering just what the Hell is gonna happens next. Chuck Conners is a whole lot of fun to watch and the movie contains one of the most brutal and bloodless kills I’ve ever seen. Borrowing heavily from Psycho, Carrie and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and creating it’s own unique blend of horror with these elements, it blazed it’s own trail that I think deserves more appreciation.

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Sleepaway Camp: Psycho Sexual Summer Camp oOverload! Sleepaway Camp is by far and away my favorite summer time slasher due in no small part to the very natural, very believable performances of the central kids in the story, all in service to one remarkably strange plot for a horror movie based at a summer camp. When most of this ilk are happy to settle for typical Cropsy stuff, Sleepaway Camp gives us something so much freakier and disturbing than we ever expected. There were folks in the audience at Cap City Video Lounge who had never seen this one before and they were shaken long into the next feature after Sleepaway Camp’s conclusion. Plus, that song Angela’s Theme (You’re Just What I’ve Been Looking For) is one groovy track, but during the end credits, is made really creepy. One of the finest from the 80’s and a fine choice.

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RABID: Cronenberg’s sophomore effort, Rabid starring Ivory Sop Girl turned porn star, Marilyn Chambers, is a weird sicky of a film featuring a typhoid mary central character who somehow gets an armpit anus vagina that spurts forth a parasitic gonzo blood sucking penis that thrives on that blood to stay alive. Some folks have claimed it’s all a metaphor for addiction while others compare to the AIDS epidemic. For me, it’s simply a great contagion movie with green goo spewing mutants barfing and biting everywhere. One of Cronenberg’s sleazier ones before he eventually started making Oscar stuff.

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The Prowler: Oddly enough, probably the dullest film to make the marathon. With countless suspenseless scenes of folks walking around white walled dark hallways looking mildly scared and other scenes that take us down narrative dead ins with no pay off,  The Prowler aka: Rosemary’s Killer, isn’t exactly a recipe for excitement. However, with a little help from Tom Savini in the effects department, the film is littered with great moments of outstanding gore effects that wake you up as you try to stay awake during the 24 hour marathon. Plus an absolutely stunning pare of breasts on one of first victims and Joe Bob Brigg’s constant interruptions, it was still a damn fine time.

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Sorority Babes in the Slime Ball Bowl-A-Rama: Holy shit, I love this movie. One of those bargain basement Scream Queen cheapies with plenty of bare breasts and a story so ludicrous, with performances so unfathomably bad, it’s an absolute delight. Played during about the 4am shift of the 24 hour marathon, this was the hot cup of trash cinema coffee I needed to keep me going after the prowler. Featuring some great full frontal and behind nudity from Brinke Stevens and Michelle Bauer, Linnea Quigley as a badass cat burglar that can’t afford a bra or a full tank top, a malicious little Imp who stuffed in a bowling trophy who awakens with the promise of granting wishes only to try and fucking kill you AND a great recurring cameo by the late, great, George “Buck” Flowers , this was EXACTLY what the marathon needed and payed homage to a handful of Trash Cinema Legends while delivering the sleaze.

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Daughters of Darkness: Now, for probably the most artsy of the films Joe Bob Briggs selected for the 24 hour marathon. Daughter’s of Darkness is an absolutely gorgeous film with some truly inspired performances bringing to life what I would consider to be the best of the female (or lesbian) vampire films. Featuring a strong feminist message, some great nudity, a fantastic score and some downright jarring moments of violence leading up to a :Wha the Fuck did I just witness” climax,  Daughters of Darkness is a ilm that lives up to it’s reputation. A fan actually got a letter read by Joe Bob Briggs read on air where the viewer complained that Daughters of Darkness was”Slow” to which Joe Bob responded, “Yeah, so what? It was MEANT to be slow!” Joe Bob, sir, you are a treasure.

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Blood Feast: I knew he had to show Blood Feast. The movie which created the splatter film genre and a Drive-In Classic directed by the late, great, Herschell Gordon Lewis with the help of the late David F. Friedman in my home state of Florida. Anoyher film that was bittersweet hearing Joe Bob talk about as the man has forever championed this film and became a friend of H.G. Lewis when releasing some of his weird and rare stuff on VHS for the “Sleaziest Movies In the History of the World” collection. Blood Feast is a terrible film by just about everyone’s standards. The script is garbage, the concept is goofy and the performance range from way out there over the top, to I am reading my lines off of the lamp shade. But as a highly entertaining piece of Trash Cinema and a true Drive-In classic, it is hysterical, bloody fun that’s hard to top. Well deserving of it’s place of notoriety in the annals of cinematic history and one of the finest exploitation films ever made. During the marathon Joe Bob Tweeted “Blood Feast is trending nationally? Hershell, are you listening?”  Proving yet again that The Drive-In will NEver Die so long as we keep these legends alive. IT was an honor watching this one with Joe Bob during The Last Drive-In.

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Basket Case: Okay, now we’re cooking with fire! Joe Bob picks out Frank Henenlotter’s debut feature, one of the last of the to Drive-In, Grindhouse greats, the sleazy, filthy, profoundly disgusting BASKET CASE! Another of my all time favorite slices of Trash Cinema, Joe Bob was crucial in making Basket Case a hit. As I recall, he either saw this at a screening as either Cannes or Sundance, and was the only other critic in there besides Rex Reed, who write up the film ended up being it’s selling point and was used in all it’s marketing, “This is the sickest movie ever made.” Joe Bob told that little story during the screening but, otherwise, this was one of the flicks I missed the most of as I was grilling burgers and dogs for the Gang at Cap City Video Lounge during our screening. But, Basket Case was one of those films that needed to be seen. And, again, everyone in our theater during this screening has never seen Basket Case before. So, I was happy to get them fed during the screening of this remarkable, legendary, groundbreaking piece of absolute cinematic filth. What really makes it stand out is the amount of heart and true emotional resonance that exists between the body mutilation, panty sniffing, and stop motion deformed creature tantrums. Henenlotter went on to make Brain Damage and Frankenhooker, but neither really surpasses the mix that Basket Case delivers. One of a kind and true gem of Trash Cinema.

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Re-Animator: Oh, Re-Animator, Stuart Gordon’s gonzo filmic interpretation of H.P. Lovecraft’s classic about life and the lengths some in the field of medicine and advanced science will go to in order to preserve it.  This came out in 1985 alone with Dan ‘OBannon’s Return of the Living Dead and George A. Romero’s Day of the Dead, three of the finest and most game changing zombie flicks ever made. Re-Animator is a a great ride littered with some really fun, cheap gore gags and gross outs, some FANTASTIC gratuitous nudity from the limitlessly attractive and talented Barbara Crampton, but the true saving grace of Re-Animator is the zany, sharp, and gleefully malicious performance of Jeffrey Combs as the unhinged Dr. Herbert West, the man who has created the Re-Animation agent and causes an undead holocaust at Miskatonic University. Featuring some of the most perverse murders, makeup effects and molestations in the history of cinema, Re-Animator was a golden selection for The Last Drive-In. A sure fire crowd pleaser for the Drive-In Mutants.

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Honestly, it wa sa lineup to die for and one Joe Bob obviously took good care in covering all the bases whiel selecting from SHUDDER’s catalog of titles. It was ab absolute joy hanging out with great friends, knocking back brews, and eventually, strong black coffee, as we soldiered through with glee to this 24 hour marathon of the macabre hosted with laughs and vulgarity by the man who brought us here, Joe Bob Briggs.

But there was always a little sting in my heart every time a 28 years older Job Bob would mention a talent whom we had lost in the years since the cancellation of MonsterVision. We hold on to our pasts and those things that made us who were are and we cherish these things. They become a part of us, they define us. But time pushes forward and takes what it wants and as we get older and wiser to these facts the pain doesn’t exactly subside, but we do grow to accept it. There was that shared hope that Joe Bob was going to announce he had made a deal to start up a new show on the streaming service, SHUDDER, where he hosted his 24 hour horror movie marathon, but that announcement never came. Instead, he said his goodbyes, the lights turned off on the set of The Last Drive-In and the credits rolled as Joe Bob sat in his recliner, hunched forward, fiddling with his hat with a look of reflection on his face. As if he will always be there.

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I am not going to lie to you, I had to hold back my tears. It was as if I had just hung out with a long lost relative for the past 24 hours and it was as if nothing had changed, and now that relative has gone away, again, and he’s told us he’s never coming back. But, that is exactly how it all works. We have no say in this, or what those around us decide is best for them. Joe Bob is a saint for coming back at all. For 24 hours it was like being that kid I once was all over again, but instead of being alone in a living room, I was surrounded by my friends this time, in a business I created, that may never have existed without the inspiration folks like Joe Bob Brigg’s provided by teaching me it was okay to be myself, believe in myself and to not turn my back on the things that make me happy. What a great lesson to learn. And those of us who took this lesson to heart, and those of us who carry the torch, we will insure that The Drive-In Will Never Die. That spirit, the spirit of the misfit, the outcast, the weird, the mutated, is something that will be in our hearts always.

Thank you, Joe Bob Briggs, for making me Trashy. We will not let you down.

-Root

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14
Jun
16

Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger Part IV: A Trash Cinema Event!

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WHO: The Trash Cinema Collective
WHAT: a screening of Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV
WHEN: Saturday July 2nd at 9pm!
WHERE: Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack
WHY: Because I can think of no better way to celebrate Independence Day Weekend than partying with The Toxic Avenger, Tallahassee RollerGirls, and The Trash Cinema Collective!
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As Always: NO VOCER! (that’s cheap!)
 
Hey Gang, The Primal Root here, and as you know The 4th of July holiday weekend is drawing near. Time to celebrate everything that makes these united states of ours so wonderful. Liberty, justice and most of all Freedom. Freedom of choice, freedom of expression, freedom to watch movies where incredibly touchy subjects are fodder for gratuitous lowbrow humor, graphic cheesy violence and politically incorrect abandon.
 
THAT’S RIGHT! The Trash Cinema Collective is celebrating Independence Day with Tromaville’s favrotie hideously deformed creature of super human size and strength, THE TOXIC AVENGER as he faces off against the greatest enemy he’s ever faced, HIMSELF in 2000’s Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV!
 
The Toxic Avenger battles a terrorist organization which labels itself “The Diaper Mafia” as they take a school for mentally handicapped children hostage on Tuna Taco Tuesday! The resulting explosion rips open a portal between the peace loving Tromaville and the debased terror that is it’s opposite dimension, Amortville! Toxie ends up in Amortville where he must square off against horrendous evil versions of his former colleagues like Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.and Mad Cowboy as he works to find his way back to Tromaville and stop the evil version of himself, The Noxious Avenger, from molesting his wife, Sarah and destroying the very fabric of Tromaville. It’s a gore drenched battle to the death as Toxie and Noxie must battle to the bitter end!
 
So prepare yourselves for gratuitous violence, gratuitous nudity, and none stop brutal political incorrectness, from school shootings, to abortions, hate crimes to sucking cheddar cheese from between a fat guys toes…It’s a FUCKING TROMA MOVIE! So, come on out to Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack, sink your teeth into the best damn burger in town, wash it down with a ice cold pitcher of your favorite adult beverage and prepare yourself for a hot load of what makes America great! It’s Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV! I’ll see you there, Gang!
 
Stay Trashy!
-Root
11
Feb
16

(NSFW) Exotic Zombie: Valentine’s Day Devil Girl of the Month (2016)

Hey Gang, The Primal Root here, and my filthy little heart is beating much faster than usual. Why you ask? Well, this Valentine’s Day one of my all time favorite slices of cinematic sleaze, Frankenhooker,  has been brought to life by of gorgeous and talented February Devil Girl of the Month, Exotic Zombie! A friend near and dear to your’s truly, I am thrilled beyond measure to be premiering her astounding Frankenhooker themed Devil Girl spread for you to fall in love with this Valentine’s Day. Get ready to lose your black hearts, Collective, as you feast your eyes on Exotic Zombies teeth sweatingly sexy spread!

The Primal Root: Good day, Exotic Zombie! It is quite the pleasure having the honor to feature your seductive self as our February Devil Girl of the Month. Let me just get this out of the way, I’ve always had a fantasy about being one of Frankenhooker’s Johns, so your spread has a deep *AHEM* sentimental value from the very get-go.

Might I ask what made you decide to use Frank Henenlotter’s ultimate tale of sluts and bolts as inspiration for your inaugural Devil Girl spread?

Exotic Zombie: I’ve always wanted to be a hooker!!! But really, it was just an excuse to get naked. wink emoticon

Root: Exotic Zombie, could you please tell us a little about yourself? Your passions, what inspires you? How do you keep it Trashy?

EZ: I am a recent gang member of the Trash Cinema crew. We all share the same filthy minds and admiration for exploding hookers. As a photographer, I get inspired by what others are passionate about. Whether it’s hot sexy movies, drugs and sex, or sex in general… just know that I prefer estrogen based elixir with my whiskey.

Root: You pull off Patty Mullen’s patented Frankenhooker face incredibly well. How long did it take you to master this particular talent?

EZ: Science. The way that the brain makes muscles contract is that there are individual little nerves that send their axon out into a muscle and they release a neurochemical, called acetylcholine. But really it took day after day standing in front of a mirror and taking selfies.

Root: Would you be game for starring in an unofficial Frankenhooker sequel? What would need to occur in this sequel in order for you to come on board?

EZ: I’m always lookin’ for some action! As long as there are pretzels to munch on and super crack for my addiction.

Root: What is that toy you brought into the bedroom with you and is this a frequent companion?

EZ: In the fetish community, this toy is known as a violet wand. There are different extensions and attachments that creates different shocking sensations. My personal favorite is the bulb used in the set. I would literally fry myself if I used it as much as I’d like to.

Root: As I am sure everyone knows, the most quintessential of all Hallmark Holidays, Valentine’s Day, is right around the corner. What are some of your favorite Trashy Anti-Valentine’s Day flicks you like to bust out on February 14th?

EZ: As I stated previously, I have only discovered the glory of trash film recently and I may already be slightly creepily obsessed and infatuated with this particular genius love story, Frankenhooker. To the point where I’ve already stalked the amazing Patty Mullen on facebook.

Root: What song would you pick to accompany your Devil Girl spread?

EZ: I’d have to go with something in relation to the theme, deftones, Change (in the house of flies)

Root: Do you have any filthy words of wisdom for the Trash Cinema Collective hoping to be as fucking awesome as yourself one day?

EZ: Never stand in front of lawn mowers. 😉

Photography by The Primal Root and Jeremy King 

Make-Up Effects: Shana Leigh 

09
Jan
16

Frankenhooker (1990): Let me just find my wallet…

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“WANNA DATE? LOOKIN’ FOR SOME ACTION? NEED SOME COMPANY?” – Patty Mullen, Frankenhooker

a Primal Root written review

My deep abiding admiration of filmmaker and exploitation cinema connoisseur, Frank Henenlotter, cannot be overstated. The man has created some of the of the most endearing, disgusting, weird and darkly hilarious films to ever grace a grind house screen.  I’ve done a Rotten Review of 1982’s Basket Case, Henenlotter’s incredible debut feature, I’ve written up a review for his masterpiece, 1988’s Brain Damage, so today I would like to discuss the maestro’s beautiful, heartfelt tale of sluts and bolts, 1990’s Frankenhooker . 

Frankenhooker tells the intimate love story of Jersey Electrician and part time mad scientist,  Jeffrey Franken (James Lorinz) and his “girthy” bride to be Elizabeth (the gorgeous and talented Patty Mullen). We meet this lovely young couple on her Father’s birthday, JEffrey surprises his soon to be Father-in-law with a remote control lawnmower. Tragically, in the process if demonstrating the new remote controlled lawnmowers functionality, Elizabeth manages to run herself over with the machine splattering herself all over the garden gnomes and leading to one of the greatest local news segments ever created. I’ll go ahead and treat you to my favorite quote:

“In a blaze of blood, bones, and body parts, the vivacious young girl was instantly reduced to a tossed human salad, a salad that police are still trying to gather up, a salad that was once named Elizabeth.”

And this is before the opening credits even begin! We find Jefferey sometime later in a state of deep depression, cutting himself off from the world and planning to revive his fiancee whose head he managed to save in an upright freezer filled with a special estrogen based elixir he’s created that keeps her deceased head perfectly preserved, maintaining it;s freshness until he can find just the right body donor.

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A quick trip to New York city and a meeting with a pimp named Zorro lands Jeffrey right in the middle of prostitute nirvana where he hopes to cultivate all his raw material. Jeffery dreams up a master plan to put hookers down using a form of “Super Crack” he himself has created for this moment. After and hour of measuring all the sleazy, adorable hookers, Jeffry has a crisis of conscience and decides he can’t go through with it. Thankfully, as hookers are drawn to crack like kittens to catnip, the hookers steal his stash, start puffing away and find out first hand the affects of Super Crack are anything but painless as they all being to explode, one after the other, into a perfect storm of meaty, bloody, hooker chunks which litter the crusty motel room.

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In the aftermath of this carnage, Jeffry picks and pulls his favorite parts from those strewn about the room, takes them back to his garage and assembles Elizabeth’s brand new body, consisting of several different skin tones and body sizes. One properly placed bolt of lightning and Elizabeth is resurrected…only thing is, she has the spirit of the dead hookers and their mannerisms alive inside her reanimated body.  Like a reflex action, Elizabeth now blurts out “WANNA DATE? LOOKING FOR SOME ACTION? GOT CASH?” to every man she comes across. Immediately drawn tot he dark back alley’s of New York City, Frankenhooker goes on a carnal rampage of lust and death! That is, before she comes across grieving pimp, Zorro, who begins putting the pieces together which leads to one of the wildest, slimiest, whoreiest fucking finales to ever grace the silver screen.

I wouldn’t say Frankenhooker is Henenlotter’s best film, but I will say that it is by far and away his most unabashedly absurd and most fun. Frankenhooker is an A-1 slice of Trash Cinema Gold and an absolute pleasure to watch. It’s low brow, hysterically funny and unendingly creative in a extraordinarily dark and appealing way. Also, I cannot discuss this film without mentioning the show stealing performance of Penthouse Pet of the Year 1988, Ms. Patty Mullen. She turns in a remarkable, spastic, dare I say BRILLIANT performance as Elizabeth/Frankenhooker. Decked out in enormous platform shoes, a purple skirt, bra, and matching handbag, watching Frankenhooker awkwardly walk around the grimy back streets of New York, subways and seedy motels are the film’s highlights. Ms. Mullen is stunningly beautiful, genuinely talented and gives it everything she’s got in, what is now, her most iconic role. Patty Mullen, in this filthy grovelers heart, you will always be Frankenhooker. And, yes, I am looking for some action.

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Also, the totally fucking bonkers execution of the Super Crack Hooker Massacre sequence is a high watermark in down and dirty horror comedy filmmaking. These girls, when confronted with a huge bag of crack, go totally insane. Screaming, laughing, shaking, stripping naked and slipping each other the tongue, it’s all one fucking radical party…that is until they start exploding in huge fireballs, spewing sparks and hunks of meat all over the place. It doesn’t matter how many times I watch Frankenhooker, this scene has me in tears every time. It’s a goddamn riot and must be seen to be believed. Truly one of the finest moments in 1990’s cinema history.

Frankenhooker. It’s a simple tale told on a very low budget and caked in filth, just like I like ’em. It is grotesque, nasty, and completely unapologetic in it’s presentation of it’s absolutely demented material.  Still, at it;s very core, Frankenhooker is a love story about a man trying to bring his lost love back from the dead. Sure, the guy is kind of a brilliant moron, but his heart is in the right place just like the film itself. The film manages to generate a kind of sweetness that very few films pertaining to the subject matter of running over a woman with lawnmowers and then exploding prostitutes in order to stitch all their remains together and bring back your lover ever have. Frankenhooker is a down and dirty flick, obviously made for next to nothing, but delivers some massive entertainment.

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Frankenhooker, the sum of it’s parts make it well worth taking to bed with you. Just remember to, you know…wrap it up.

I award Frankenhooker 4 1/2 out of 5 Dumpster Nuggets.

Stay Trashy!

-Root

30
Dec
15

Revenge of the Ninja (1983):Battle Without Honor or Pants

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a Primal Root written review

“Only a ninja can stop a ninja.” – Sho Kosugi, Revenge of the Ninja

Holy shit, who doesn’t love a no holds barred, ball the the wall, bone crunching, spirit smashing, head splitting ninja flick? There are a handful of truly damn fine ninja flicks that immediately spring to mind. Flicks like Ninja in the Dragon’s Den (1982), Ninja bugeicho momochi sandayu aka: Shugun’s Ninja (1980). But the majority of ninja movies were kind of rinky dink, low budget Trash Cinema weirdness, many released by the kingpins of bargain basement oddities, Cannon Films in the 1980’s. Offerings like American Ninja (1986), Enter the Ninja (1981), Ninja III: The Domination (1984), etc. Thankfully for these sort of flicks, the goofier it gets, the more entertaining it often becomes. Case in point, 1983’s Revenge of the Ninja.

Revenge of the Ninja, Hell, the plot is right the in the title! So you know exactly what you’re in for the moment you sit down to watch this sucker. After a long standing feud ends with his entire family (men, women, children, grandma, grandpa, dogs, cats, etc.) brutally butchered before the opening credits by a swarm of merciless ninja assassins, Cho Osaki (Sho Kosugi) takes his surviving infant son and his wise old Mama to the United States of America to start a gallery for little geisha dolls and begin life a new in the land of opportunity.

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Only thing is, to the total ignorance of Cho, his white bread yuppie all American Capitalist best buddy is using the doll gallery as a front for his heroin smuggling operation which is in cahoots with an incredibly dangerous Yakuza syndicate in Japan and a local mob cartel. Once this betrayal is revealed to Cho, he realizes that no matter how far her runs, or where he hides, the shadow of his ninja past will always fall upon him and those he loves.

Just like the old guard of ninja films in the 1970’s, Sonny Chiba, Sho Kosugi carried the torch and carved ninja terminology onto 1980’s martial arts lexicon and maintained his dignity throughout a career that spanned movies such as The Godfather part II (1974) (where he played Passerby in Coat with Cap Pulled Down) to The Bad News Bears Go to Japan (1978) to Blind Fury (1989) and Ninja Assassin (2009). Kosugi gives the character of Cho Osaki a strong presence all at once badass and impenetrable and also incredibly empathetic. You can’t help but root for the guy.

Revenge of the Ninja is far and away the cream of the crop when it comes to American brand Shinobi flicks  of the 1980’s. The movie is is heavy on the unrelenting action sequences and the whole thing rolls out like a Double Dragon video game. Seriously, if you have a stop watch you can try it at home, there’s an action just about ever 5-7 minutes during the films run time. You paid for ninja carnage? Revenge of the Ninja understand and delivers a buffet of all you can eat martial arts awesomeness. Revenge of the Ninja faithfully adheres to the chopsocky action formula where every single new setting is pretty much guarantees that there’s some goons hiding right around the corner ready to get a brawl started.

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One of the stand out battles takes place in a crowded public park replete with an extensive jungle gym. Cho has gotten word that there’s a gang that hangs out there who might have information regarding his kidnapped son and who vandalized his doll gallery. Sure enough, Cho shows up in broad daylight and confronts this gang of thugs, who look just like the alternate dimension evil version of The Village People and the extended fight is on! Cho kicks everyone’s ass, and no information is gained, the plot is not furthered, the movie just had to kick some ass for a while and MAN is it spectacular.

There’s also a pretty outstanding chase sequence where Sho is on foot chasing down a van filled with thugs. The guy leaps over walls in a single bound, runs atop cars, barreling none stop in pursuit of the speeding van, determined to get his stolen heroine dolls back. Cho ends up JUMPING THROUGH the windshield of the van where he beings battling the occupants. That is, until Cho is thrown from the van, grabs onto the bumper and is dragged behind on his knees for several city blocks transforming his slacks into daisy dukes and leaving the poor mans legs a ravaged, bloody mess.  The stunts and fight choreography are still awe inspiring even by today’s standards. Shit, if this were to be made today all these stunts and shit would require computer assistance. Revenge of the Ninja serves up the real deal.

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Also, there’s a jaw dropping final battle atop a city high rise that’s quite elaborate, if not a little chuckle worthy due to the Wile E Coyote nature of the battle. It;s on the rooftop and over the top and includes a leaping battle on a tennis court and an odd bit of battling in a hot tub… Trust me, it’s remarkable. Every ninja tick in the book is here and accounted for.

The entire film is caked in blood with plentiful amounts of nasty, gory deaths. Bones are broken, faces mangled and blood splashes across the screen, all in good fun. But, for me. the highlight of the whole film is when Cho spares with a young and eager blonde woman looking to get pummeled below the belt by her Sensei, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. She shows up to spare wearing NO PANTS OR PANTIES! Even Cho makes note of this when he remarks, “Well, if you wanna work out, you forgot your pants! ” to which his student, Cathy, retorts, “You really think I forgot?” and they end up sparing for a little bit as she’s flashing her snatch the entire time! Gang, this is cinematic gold of the trashiest proportions. I mean, how many bottomless training scenes have you witnessed? It’s really wonderful stuff.

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REVENGE OF THE NINJA, 1983, (c)Canon Films

What’s also worth mentioning is that one of Kosugi’s son’s, Kane Kosugi, made his film debut here as Cho’s little boy and ninja attack survivor turned martial arts wizard and eventual hostage, Kane Osaki. Kane has a pretty hysterical battle with a group of school bullies on his way home with his grandmother. He ends up whooping every single one of them before his Father catches on and he gets scolded for being awesome. Kane is still enjoying a pretty damn healthy career these days with titles such as Godzilla: Final Wars (2004), Ninja: Shadow of a Tear (2013) and Muscle Heat (2002) under his belt.

Revenge of the Ninja is actually the second installment of the Ninja franchise Cannon Films produced. It began with Enter the Ninja (1981) starring a poorly dubbed over Franco Nero of Django fame as the ninja who enters and the trilogy ended with the laughably bizarre Ninja III: The Domination (1984) where an aerobics instructor ends up being possessed by an evil ninja from beyond the grave. We’ll talk about those flicks some other time. 😉 As far as I’m concerned, Revenge of the Ninja is the Empire Strikes Back of the series.

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Revenge of the Ninja is a finely tuned, gore drenched thrill a minute action film and a damn fine example of the genre.Well directed by Cannon Films veteran Sam Firstenberg, scored strikingly, catchy score courtesy of Rob Walsh and a damn near perfect screenplay James R Silke, Revenge of the Ninja is among the very best examples of pure, unadulterated Trash Cinema martial arts action.  And you won’t even need your pants and panties to enjoy it.

You GOTTA see Revenge of the Ninja.

I’m awarding this sucker FIVE out of FIVE Dumpster Nuggets.

Stay Trashy!

-Root

15
Nov
15

DIE HARD (1988) A Trash Cinema Collective Event and 4th Annual Black Elephant Gift Exchange!

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“Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker!”

WHO: The Trash Cinema Collective
WHAT: A screening of the 1988 Christmas Action Classic, Die Hard! Followed by our Annual Trashmas Black Elephant Gift Exchange!
WHEN: Saturday December 5th at 8:00pm (EST)
WHERE: Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack
WHY: Because Trashmas only comes once and year and we want to spend this special night with all your wonderful, filthy members of The Trash Cinema Collective!

As Always, NO COVER!

Hey Gang, The Primal Root here, and it is that most magical, most festive, most repugnant time of the year once again, TRASHMAS SEASON! And what better way to celebrate than with The Trash Cinema Collective at Bird’s Aphrodisiac while watching the blood drenched, bullet riddled, Christmas action blockbuster, DIE HARD, as chosen by you, The Collective.

Die Hard (19880 tells the heart felt and deeply moving tale of Officer John McClane (Bruce Willis), a hard nosed yet very witty and often hilarious New York cop who is invited (on accident) to his recently estranged wife’s Christmas party at Nakatomi Plaza in California. Sure, this will be a great to patch things up with her and bring the family back together, but wouldn’t you know it? A team of elite badass terrorists ( led by a bearded Alan Rickman, ladies…) pick that exact same night to stage an attack, taking hostages and generally fucking up the whole holly jolly spirit of the boozy1988 holiday season. It is up to John McClane to save the Mother Fuckin’ day and remind us all of the true meaning of Christmas by using his McGuyver like resilience, excellent one liners and and fully loaded machine gun. Oh yes, this Trashmas, we’re gonna DIE HARD!

ALSO! If you are interested in participating in the 4th Annual Trashmas Black Elephant Gift Exchange, please bring a wrapped gift that costs you no more than $20 and place it under the Trashmas Tree! Once Die Hard concludes, we will begin the Black Elephant Gift Exchange. We will count the heads of everyone who brought a gift and draw numbers as to who will go up and pick the very first gift. Whoever goes second can either choose to unwrap a new gift from under the tree or steal the first person’s gift that they just unwrapped. The person who was stolen from can then choose to grab another gift from under the tree or steal someone else’s. THREE STEALS IS THE LIMIT, so steal wisely. Trust me, we will go into more detail at the actual event.

What kind of gift should you bring? Something Funny, Filthy, Weird or Trashy tends to be popular. An old Charles Manson T-shirt, Faces of Death VHS tapes and even a chair last year, proved to be very popular. So follow your trashiest instincts and bring something that will truly shock and awe the masses. Trust me, something cheap and everyday will not impress anyone. Also, booze is totally okay to bring as a Black Elephant Gift, too.

Cannot wait to celebrate another Trashmas full of debauchery and cheer with you filthy folks December 5th at Trash Cinema Nights at Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack! See you then!

Stay Trashy!
-Root

25
Oct
15

(NSFW) Maiden Detroit & The Primal Root: Devil Girl and Devil Guy October 2015

Hey Gang, The Primal Root here, and I am extremely proud to not only be the very first Devil Guy featured on The Trash Cinema Collective, but to be sharing this honor with the gorgeous and remarkable Devil Girl, Maiden Detroit and to have been photographed by the remarkably talented, gorgeous and uncanny love of my live, Ms. Bootsie Kidd. The stars aligned and we created a photo spread I am incredibly proud of. Something I’ve been dreaming of for years and, through the kindness and creativity of my friends in The Trash Cinema Collective, has been brought to glorious, bloody life. Before we take a look at our Devil Girl/Devil Boy Texas Chainsaw Massacre inspired spread, let’s get to know our subjects, shall we?

Maiden Detroit Interviewed by The Primal Root

Root: We’re so fucking happy to have you back in the Devil Girl fold, Maiden. What prompted your return? 

Maiden: When the opportunity to be apart of the first Devil Guy shoot presents itself you don’t say no. Done deal, Ass up, tits out!

Root: How was it working so intimately with The Primal Root and Bootsie Kidd? 

Maiden: Coming up to the set as the first shots were being taken, seeing the ease in which Bootsie and Root worked together; Chainsaw in the air, apron on and little to nothing else. I immediately felt at home. Bootsie’s ability to direct so gracefully with steady encouragement made being strung up incredibly comfortable. I am sure Root was just as nervous, as I, but you would not have known. There were some intense scenes: head knocking, hair pulling, body dragging and a lot of BLOOD. It was sticky mess, but I’d work with these two again in a heartbeat (so long as my heart continues to beat.)

Root: Got any cool plans for this Halloween? What are you dressing up as? What will you be drinking? What’s the Trashiest wish you’re filthy heart is hoping for this Halloween? 

Maiden: Turns out, I know these really two cool cats who are throwing a Haunted Hootenanny. So, after working I will most certainly be there. I will be dressed in my finest blood soaked garb, drinking PBR, whiskey, wine, blood and whatever else ends up in my hand. I know that it is going to be a blast. As for a trashy Halloween wish, I want all the adults get their treats from tricks. Trix are not just for kids.

Root: Can you give us some of your favorite Trashy Halloween movie selections you like to watch this time of year?

Maiden: Hmm…that’s a tough one. I’m kind of a horror junkie. I guess I might have a thing for the “tortured” baddies. I really like a nice Ciante. Hannibal Lecter is sexy as hell, so Silence of the Lambs. Hellraiser introduced me to Pinhead and I have never been able to get him out of my mind. There is something about that puzzlebox. Oh, and the bondage 😉 Freddy Kruger and his Nightmare on Elm Street has always been my favorite. After all, he was my first.

Root: If you could pick one song to be the soundtrack for our Trash Cinema Collective Gang to view this spread to, what would it be?  

Maiden: It would absolutely have to be “Let Me Love You To Death,” by Type O Negative.

“Now close those eyes and let me love you to death!”

The Primal Root Interviewed by Bootsie Kidd

Boots: So, Primal Root, you’ve had The Trash Cinema Collective blog up and the Notorious Devil Girls as a staple feature for going on six years now, What prompted you to brave being the very first Devil Boy? What Now? 

Root: Well, to be honest, I’ve always felt kind of lame seeking out Devil Girls and never taking the plunge and risking getting nekkid myself for a photo spread featured on my own blog. I never want to ask someone to do something I would never ever do myself. The horror market is so intensely saturated with nude women in horror scenarios but never guys. It’s always felt really one sided to me. For such a progressive genre, there seems to be very little in the way of equal play in these sorts of flicks. So, I figured, since i am a nudist with deep, abiding love for all things Trash Cinema, I might as well get nekkid and pay homage to one of my all time favorite horror films, the savage slice of cinema, Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Plus, this is something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time and I am incredibly happy and proud with how this spread turned out. 

Bootsie: Okay, let’s take it back a turn, what are your earliest most vivd memories of horror films? 

Root: Oh man, that’s a good one. I remember being freaked out by the Large Marge moment in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure I always had a fascinating with monster, ghosts and the massacre ever since I was a very little kid. I lived for Ghostbusters and The REAL Ghostbuster animated series as well as Monster Squad, Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom, Gremlins and the classic Universal Monster Movies I rented form the library like Dracula, The Wolf Man and Bride of Frankenstein. But, I think the moment which solidified horror as a passion for me was when I saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit? for the first time. When Judge Doom is in the ACME factory, turns his head and reveals himself to be a Toon with this red cartoon eyes, and at the same time confesses to being the murderer of Teddie Valiant with that high pitched, screaming voice, I nearly shit myself. I was terrified, but at the same time totally in awe and in love with how warped and mortifying this was. The creativity and the terror brought it all home and I knew horror was what I lived for. It will forever be my genre. 

Bootsie: I think we, and countless fans van agree, Leatherface is unique. What makes him special to you and why did you choose as the subject for this project? 

Root: I put on my Leatherface costume for the first time a couple Halloween’s ago and I have never felt more at home in a disguise. Leatherface just suits me somehow. It just seemed a natural choice for me, plus, his character and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre films themselves lent our set a story that pretty much told itself. I was lucky enough to have you as my photographer and the beautiful, brave, up for anything Maiden Detroit to collaborate and shre this spread with. There is a lot of horror here, but there’s also this odd, morbid romance where Leatherface becomes this beautiful woman he has just killed by doning her face. It gross, nasty, in slightly romantic in a very twisted way. I was lucky to have incredible talent to help me bring this spread to life.

Photography by Bootsie Kidd

Makeup and Gore Effects: Jonathan Bryant




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