Posts Tagged ‘Noel

25
Dec
13

(NSFW) Ramonah; Trashmas Devil Girl 2013

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MERRY TRASHMAS, GANG! It’s finally here! And, boy, do we have a present to get you all warmed up and cozy! The Trash Cinema Collective’s good friend, Ramonah, has stuffed our stocking with a slick, sexy, awesome set to celebrate this most Trashiest of holidays. We sat down with Ramonah to see how she’s rolling Yule tide season.

The Primal Root: Merry Trashmas, Ramonah! I can certainly see you’re in the spirit this year. Would you mind telling our viewers a little bit about yourself, what kind of things you’re into and what not?

Ramonah: Merry Trashmas!  I’m into all sorts of things.  A lot of my time is dedicated to bead weaving and jewelry-making.  I also enjoy writing,  playing video games and tabletop RPGs,  cooking,  and rescuing spiders and other little bugs that get into the house.  And cats.  I spend a lot of time with cats.

TPR: Trashmas Devil Girl of the Year is a pretty big deal.  Could you recommend some of your favorite Trashy holiday movies that might inspire future Devil Girls?

Ramonah:  There are so many beautifully trashy holiday movies out there,  it’s hard to choose.  I usually feel nostalgic around the holidays,  so what comes to mind are movies like the Garfield and Friends Christmas Special,  How the Grinch Stole Christmas,  and Home Alone. Every year on Christmas Day,  I watch the Invader Zim episode “The Most Horrible Christmas Ever”.  Bow down,  bow down,  before the power of Santa!…

TPR: If you could recommend a song for our readers to listen to while viewing your Devil girl spread, what would it be?

Ramonah:  Let’s go with Bad Religion’s “I Love My Computer”.  It seems fitting.

TPR: Care to share a good, juicy, bizarre-O holiday story with us?

Ramonah: You know,  I don’t think I have one.  I’m usually on my best behavior around the holidays,  since there’s always an abundance of family members nearby.  You’ll have to hit me up for juicy stories some other time of the year.

TPR: What do you hope you find under the Trashmas tree this year?

Ramonah: Delicious,  egg-free baked goods.  I’ve developed an egg allergy,  and I miss pastries.  And cookies.  And cake.  And cookie cakes.  And cupcakes.  And flan.  And creme brulee.  And danishes.  And brownies.  And..

TPR: Ramonah, I hope you get all the egg free baked goods you can stand. Thank you so much for sharing your excellent Trashmas Devil Girl set with us, I’m sure The Collective will eat it up!

Merry Trashmas!

-Root

Photography by Perry Gilbert

 

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http://youtu.be/hkwcehPhOXw

 

 

 

22
Dec
12

Silent Night: Dreaming of a Schlock Christmas

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a Primal Root review

If you know me, you know my stance on remakes. It’s not something I am incredibly fond of but I will always give them a fair shot as from time to time I find myself surprised and impressed. This is why I gave the remake of one of the best slasher films ever made, ‘Silent Night, Deadly Night’, a run for it’s money. Would it be as heartfelt, tragic, disturbing and filled with campy, inappropriate jet black humor as it’s original source material? I had my doubts. I took a deep breath, popped this sucker in my DVD player and braced for impact.

. Seeing as the movie has little to nothing in common with it’s source material outside of it’s organizing principle (Christmas) the killer’s disguise (Santa Claus) and two of the original film’s most notorious and popular set pieces this thing hardly registers as a remake. It’s more of a springboard for an altogether new slasher film.  ‘Silent Night’ adopts the narrative structure of Wes Craven’s ‘Scream’ franchise with a “Who-done-it?” premise and written in the often imitated style of one of cinema’s most acclaimed screenwriters, Rob Zombie. We are introduced to a crazed killer dressing up as Santa Claus in a urine soaked, filth caked bathroom as he puts together his Santa Claus mask and clips his finger nails, which I assumed at the time would be some clue to the killer’s identity and kept looking for some with well manicured nails. By the film;s end  realized this shit had nothing to do with anything, really.

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Our killer takes care of business, dispatching of a screaming woman in an adjoining bedroom and then unceremoniously electrocuting a man tied to a lawn chair with festive Christmas lights down in the basement. The guy shakes, screams, his eyes explode in geysers of blood…and our movie begins. Who were those people? Why should I care that they’re dead?  Next thing you know, it’s Christmas Eve morning and it turns out the guy who just got electrocuted in the previous scene was the local deputy and a young woman is called in to work his shift by the over confident small town America British crime Sheriff, Malcolm McDowell, who plays his character for laughs and it just doesn’t work.

As bitchy, spoiled little girls are butchered, men are stabbed in the testicles and large breasted, half naked women are sent slowly through wood chippers, this crack team of police investigators zero in on large people in Santa suits, this being Christmas Eve, the town is overrun by fellows in Santa suits and several of them are disgruntled assholes and violent offenders, so they have their work cut out for them. Why do they not bring in some outside help? Because the Sheriff wants to solve this on his own. Eh, stupid is as stupid does, I suppose.

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Just about every character we encounter is brutally slaughtered which I am sure will send us gore hounds off to bed with visions of woodchippered meaty chunks of nude photography models dancing in our heads.  There’s not much of a moral compass present in this new Christmas slasher, but I guess that’s just fine fo0r the approach they;re taking. It’s a full speed ahead train of pain where buying a ticket insures a perversely gruesome ride.  Mean spirited and full of self interested slime balls, ‘Silent Night’ is actually a fairly good modern Christmas horror, even if it pains me a little to admit it.

Jaime King as Deputy Sheriff Audrey Bradimore does a damn fine job of trying to give her character the gravity she deserves, but it’s  all for not, as ‘Silent Night’ has other fish to fry and body parts to hack off. The rest of the cast play this film as the hamfisted piece of garbage it is and yuk it up with a wink and a nudge as they await their paychecks. You can literally feel the apathy these performers bring to the film.

The film even cherry picks two of the original ”Silent Night, Deadly Night”s most memorable moments. you know, the one where loony bin Grandpa warns his Grandson that ‘Christmas Eve is the scariest damn night of the year!”, only this time Grandpa’s voice turns demonic and is delivering this warning to a character who only has one other scene…where he receives some obligatory Holy Night oral before having his head pulped by one well placed whack of an axe. Also, extracted from the original ‘Silent night, Deadly Night; is the notorious ‘Antler Kill’, which seems puzzlingly less effective here. Oh yeah, and there’s a reference to it being “Garbage Day”. WOKA, WOKA, WOKA!

This is Santa, reminding you to stay warm this holiday season.

All in all, ‘Silent Night’ delivers the sloppy, gooshy, gory goodies but severely lacks the underlying message and heart that made ‘Silent Night, Deadly Night’ such a memorable and dare I say, classic of the 80’s slasher period. As I have mentioned in The Primal Root’s Rotten Review for ‘Silent Night, Deadly Night;, it is a film about the cycle of violence, the lack of care for the mentally ill, and the failure of our system and religious fundamentalism.  Is it shocking? yes. Violent? Of course. Over the top? Most certainly! But it was all for a purpose as opposed to this remake which is happy to deliver nothing but carnage. Gore drenched kills and a town populated by halfwits, unapologetic assholes and sociopaths that serve no purpose other than axe fodder.

‘Silent Night’ is a bloody hot mess of a stocking stuffer.  If you can get passed the annoying, unlikable cast of characters, there’s a wonderful mix of nasty kills (including one little cuntface of a child!) and gratuitous Tits and Ass  for the old schooler purists.  It’s trashy to the core and about as dumb as a box of coal but just might make a good stocking stuffer for the gore hound on your Christmas list.

Stay Trashy!

-Root

31
Dec
11

Rotten Reviews Ep 23: Black christmas (The Remake)

Hey Gang, The Primal Root, here, wishing you and yours a Happy Holiday season! That is, if you can make it through the evil that is Glen Morgan’s Black Christmas remake… Hang tight with your buddy, Root, as he tries the wade through the numerous subplots, the dozen characters and the non stop flashbacks that explain away our main antagonist(s).

Watch as The Root tries to transform this hunk of coal into a diamond in this, our final Rotten Review of Year Three, here at The Trash Cinema Collective!

Happy Holidays and a Trashy New Year!

Your Pal,
-The Primal Root

Just Play the Link Below!

18
Oct
11

Athena and Noel, October’s Devil Girls of the Month (NSFW!)

        (NSFW) October is here and everyone is eagerly awaiting the approach of what is the undisputed favorite holiday around The Collective, Halloween! It is no different for The Devil Girls as two of our favorite ladies, Miss Athena Hollow and Noel Cypress, get caught up in a little trouble at the local haunted manor. Trapped behind steel bars, no means of escape, while the dank smell of decay and the the oppressive chill of encroaching evil are a constant reminder that their fates just might be sealed once and for all… What are two lovely Devil Girls to do? Find out the answer and feel your Halloween Spirit rise as you check out Miss Athena and Noel’s seductive new spread! Quite the sugary, trashy, treat to get this Halloween season rolling off on the perfect note.

Stay Trashy,

-Root

Photography by Kickapoo

www.missathenahollow.com

www.noelsnaughtynook.com

www.geekgirlsonline.com

07
Jul
11

Noel, July’s Devil Girl of the Month (NSFW)

Hey Gang, The Primal Root here, and I am incredibly proud and honored to present to you our Devil Girl for the Month of July, Noel! She has delivered us an exceptionally, bloody, sexy, demonic set entitled, “Deadly Sins”. Noel’s a good fiend of ours here at the Trash Cinema Collective and I hope my fellow Collectors out there will give her the enthusiastic and warm welcome she so deserves. Enjoy and Stay Trashy!

Here’s what Noel had to say about her Devil Girl of the Month spread:

I’d always wanted to shoot in this dank, old, haunted attic that a friend of mine owned. There were always creepy sounds coming from it, and stuff would be moved the next day. Finally I just decided I HAD to do a scary set up there, and what better than a carnivorous demon? “Deadly Sins” is a demon set that was both fun yet terrifying to shoot. I kept hitting random cold spots in the attic (despite it being summer outside), and some of the photos didn’t come up on the computer because they were corrupted. Despite the creepiness, it was a very fun experience. – Noel

photography by Pitchfork Studios in Indiana

Looking for more Noel? Check out her site! www.noelsnaughtynook.com




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