Posts Tagged ‘metal

12
Oct
14

Lala: Devil Girl of the Month, October 2014

Happy October, Gang! The Primal Root here, excited beyond compare to introduce you all to our gorgeous, wicked and ravishing October Devil Girl of the Month, Lala. Before you feast your eyes on her phenomenal photo spread, let’s take a moment to get to know this femme fatale with a taste for all things horror.
The Primal Root: Lala, it’s an honor to feature you as our October Devil Girl of the Month! Tell us a little bit about yourself, what you’re up, what your interests are.
Lala: I’m really tickled pink to be picked for October’s Devil Girl, thank you muchly! A bit about myself… Well I’m 24 years of age, born ‘n bred in Milwaukee, WI. I have 2 years of nursing classes under my belt, but I plan on going back for criminal psychology next year.  I live with my boyfriend and his family, although we are scraping together our checks so we can rent an apartment of our own. To have our own space, a place we can truly call our home would be a beautiful thing. I work at my pop’s metal polishing and fabricating shop. Doing mostly grunt work, cleaning, inventory, etc..Interests. Dedicating entire days to nothing but lethargy and horror films, but that’s definitely a given. I’m a voracious reader and anything that is set before me I will devour. Visiting my gramama – she has been like a second mother to me and she is currently living her final days on Earth. Spending time with my boyfriend’s daughter. She’s damn near 2 years old and has a big and bright personality. I take pleasure in the little things. An afternoon with my family or even sharing a comfortable silence with my fella.
 TPR: With Halloween fast approaching, I was wondering if you’d care to share your favorite Trashy flicks that get you in the mood?

Lala: Trashyflicks that get me in the mood aye? The People Under the Stairs. Red Dragon. Excision. Mum & Dad. Natural Born Killers. I Spit on Your Grave. Suspiria. Blind Beast. The Woman. Trick ‘R Treat.

TPR: Excellent selections, my dear! Got a costume in mind for this year’s Samhain?

Lala: For this year’s Samhain, I was spit balling with a few different costume ideas. Perhaps Akasha from Queen of the Damned or Coraline. Maybe Cruella DeVille. Cleopatra mayhaps! I’m quite scatterbrained on the subject. Ha
TPR: Oh WOW! Chomping at the bit to see you do those costumes justice. What song should the viewing audience at home listen to while admiring your Devil Girl shots?
Lala: Hmmmm, I think the song Number One Crush by Garbage would be a swell song to listen to when viewing my Devil Girl shots
 TPR: Sexy AND creepy! Couldn;t have picked a better song, myself! Gotta ask, which cinematic boogieman do you hope you’ll run into this Halloween?
Lala: Without a doubt, I would love nothing more than to run into Leatherface on Devil’s Night. That would be a Devil Girl’s wet dream.
 TPR: You heard her, Leatherface. Get that chainsaw reved up my friend and keep your eyes peeled this Halloween for One Ms. Lala Devil Girl! Alright, Lala, send us off with a favorite Trashy movie quote. Lala: Here’s my trashy quote, the final thought, “Come and get it, you undead sack of shit.” Bubba Ho-Tep
 Well, you heard The Devil Girl, come and get it! Enjoy Lala’s sinful, seductive, bewitching October Devil Girl of the Month spread! Hope you have one very sick and twisted October, Gang and a Trashy Halloween!
Stay Trashy!
-Root
Photos by Lala
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15
Oct
12

Tales from the Crypt presents Demon Knight

a Primal Root written review

Growing up in a household that could afford premium cable, as a youngster, there was no greater pleasure than staying up late, hunkering down on the sofa in the darkened living room, and catching the sick, twisted morality tale that was HBO’s ‘Tales from the Crypt.’  Being a child whose love for the macabre and horrific was rotted deep within me and growing more apparent on a daily basis, this was MY must see TV.  In my younger years, Nickelodeon’s ‘Are You Afraid of the Dark?’ along with old, dusty, issues of E.C. comicss ‘The Vault of Horror’ and ‘Tales from the Crypt’ had wet my pallet. The promise of a fun, vivid, gory, lesson in how being an asshole will surely end in a fate often worse than death wrapped up in one nifty thirty minute package made ‘Tales from the Crypt’ an irresistible temptation. Add the ever present possibility of  bare female breasts, and my adolescent self couldn’t refuse.

 

Hell, my adult self still can’t refuse.

 

Then, in 1995, I was traipsing through Tallahassee Florida’s long dead Oak Lake Six movie theater on my way to see  ‘The Brady Bunch Movie’ when I spotted poster that dropped my jaw to the floor and filled my heart with sticky, black, diabolical joy. Oh yes, ‘Tales from the Crypt’ was releasing a movie called “Demon Knight.’ Needless to say, this was the greatest news my 13 year old self had ever heard. The poster featured a shot of the Crypt Keeper smiling ghoulishly and peering over blue lensed, John Lennon style sun glasses, holding open his epic, and seemingly endless, book tales as slimy, razor toothed demons spewed forth all being led by an slightly aggravated looking bald fellow in a trench coat with his arm outstretched pointing right at my scrawny, freshly teenaged face. I knew, in my misguided, freshly teenaged heart, this was going to be the greatest movie ever made.

 

Sadly, I wouldn’t be able to talk my Mom into letting me see it until it was released on VHS. I rented Tales from the Crypt presents Demon Knight, slipped the tape into my VCR, and braced myself for the glory. Dear reader, Demon Knight catered to everything my adolescent heart could possibly desire. Here’s how it goes down…

 

The action takes place in a dilapidated boarding house that was previously a church where the home’s misfit group of residents (prostitute, laid off postal worker, drunken bum Dick Miller, etc.) find themselves in the middle of an ancient battle between good and evil. See, there’s a drifter named Stryker played by infinitely likeable character actor, William Sadler, playing it straight, earnest, and desperate. Stryker, The Demon Knight, finds his way to this boarding house, thanks to a largely unexplained supernatural star circle compass tattoo in the palm of his hand, seeking shelter. Styker is being stalked down by a slick, seductive, hilarious form of evil incarnate known only as The Collector. The Collector is played by Billy Zane, who is obviously having a field day with such a fun part. In retrospect this might be the high water mark of his career. Which is rather sad.

 

 

Anyhoo, The Collector is trying to get his hands on ‘The Key’ which Stryker is protecting. This key holds the blood of Christ as well as the blood of previous Demon Knights. The fate of all humanity hangs in the balance on this night, in this boarding home, because this key is the last of seven The Collector needs in order to unleash Hell on earth. It soon becomes a show down in the old Night of the Living Dead, Assault on Precinct 13 style, as The Collector brings forth an army of vicious, mucousy, pierced up demons that look like char grilled Muppets looking to rip the into meaty chunks anyone who stands between them and The Key. The Collector, on the other hand, finds his own way in through the use of seduction and the promise of granting his victim’s fantasies which leads to some of ‘Demon Knights” more interesting sequences. Needless to say, many will die, few will live, some will get fire pissed on them by Billy Zane, and one character will fulfill their destiny. Oh yeah, it’s one of those type of parties.

 

 

That’s the basic run down of what’s going on in this movie. The mythology surrounding The Key, the Demon Knights and their Highlander-esque back story is something I could honestly devote a whole article to. Plus there’s the obligatory Crypt Keeper bookends to the film that don’t really add much, but it’s cool that the our old pal, The Crypt Keeper, is holding down the fort and spewing the same old eye rolling puns and one liners.

 

 

‘Demon Knight delivered, and for about six months, it was among my absolute favorites and solidified my deep, abiding, love for Trash Cinema. It had graphic violence delivered both horrifically and humorously. Gratuitous and plentiful bare female breasts. A ridiculously fun villain in the form of The Collector, and likeable and enigmatic hero in Stryker, plus a great cast of veteran character actors like Dick Miller, CCH Pounder, and Charles Fleischer as well as a few folks yet to hit their peak like Jada Pinkett , Thomas Haden Church and um, Traci Bingham? Plus, a bizarre cameo by John Laroquette who still seems like a strange choice to me…The morality play aspect of the television series falls by the wayside a bit, but the sick, twisted black comedy is intact and even a bit amplified.

 

Tales from the Crypt presents Demon Knight isn’t a great film, not by a long shot, but it sure is a Hell of a lot of fun. And at the end of the day isn’t that precisely what you want from this kind of flick? It’s dumb, rude, dirty, sick, over the top and exploitative. It’s a guilty pleasure of the highest order. It’s a dark minded, neon eyed, spook house, horror show of a movie that is only interested in kicking ass, tossing the gruel at it’s audience and letting the chips fall where they may. It’s the kind of horror film where you walk out with a smile knowing that you’ve had a blast.

 

My 13-14 year old self was an instant fan. The poster adorned my wall throughout my middle school years and I sang the praises of ‘Demon Knight’ to all my horrified friends. I watched it nearly every weekend for a span of about six months before moving on to other bizarre, awesome, trashy films. However, the young, teenager inside me still holds this film very close to his strange, trash loving little heart.
Stay Trashy!

-Root

 

17
May
12

Gorotica: Coldcocked (1993)

a Primal Root review

Ah, yes, after scraping the glorious  dregs of  the Trash Cinema dumpster and coming up with 1990’s “Gorgasm: The Ultimate Climax”, it is time we move on to Hugh Gallagher’s 1993 second installment in the much maligned, enjoyed by some, despised by other, Gore Trilogy entitled “Gorotica!” Get ready, gang, cause this one’s going to leave you feeling a little dirtier than our last flick, if you can believe it.

“Gorotica” spins the tale of two band mates, Neil (Dingo Jones) and Max (Bushrude Gutterman), who pull an armed diamond heist in order to score the funds necessary to send their band to California in the hopes of making it big! It’s a really shitty plan. Max has sold Neil on it, but being a leatherclad, crappy guitar-playing punk rock kid in your late 20’s, your whole life is more or less defined by a long string of shitty moves and really stupid decisions.  So why not orchestrate a diamond heist so you can move to California for your already flaccid music career?

Speaking of The Grateful Dead…

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Before the action even gets going, “Gorotica’s” opening sequence features Carrie (Ghetty Chasun), a curvy, pierced up, well endowed goth chick, as she lays in bed watching a compilation of still shots of dead bodies at various crime scenes and masturbating. Sure, this all seems normal,  that is until she pulls a skull out from under her bed and rubs it up and down against her exposed vagina.  I watched this as a kid and had the distinct feeling this was actually how goth girls who never grew out of it spent their time. As I got older, I came to realize  I wasn’t that far off.  It’s only after Carrie has shown off her ample bongos, tried to shove a skull up her love tunnel, and knocked a totally different skull  off the top of her television set with her intense, rhythmic, masturbatory gyrations & gushing climax, do our credits begin to roll!

Opening Credits by Atari

Alright, so we first meet pseudoheroes Neil and Max post robbery as they run down a dark alley, stop to catch their breath, and discuss what their next move should be. Seeing as they robbed the store in their every day attire, you know, torn jeans, plaid shirts, leather jackets and ratty haircuts, the police know just who to look for. Hell, the morons didn’t even wear fucking masks when they robbed the place! So, it stands to reason that Max would come up with the idea of swallowing  the fist sized diamond they stole for safe keeping and chase with half a handle of bourbon. I don’t even want to imagine what Max’s poor sphincter will be going through when that girl’s best friend passes the threshold. The depressing concoction of blood, tears, and shit is never something I like to comprehend, let alone experience in anyway.

Thankfully, we never have to see this happen as some police officer happens down the exact same alley demanding the two young men freeze. Max pulls out a gun and he and copper exchange warm bullet welcomes, rendering both cop & kid as flat-liners. The police officer dies instantly from his gut shot while Max, on the other hand, survives but is left in critical condition which means we get the pleasure of hearing him whine and groan for the next several minutes as Neil enters a comic relief sequence where he steals a drunk old man’s car.  The comic scene plays out like a when you try to fart in order to make someone laugh and then you realize it was a lot wetter than you anticipated and you’ve now shit yourself. It goes from funny to tragic in less than a second.  Yeah, it’s that kind of failure.

Gotta look good for those dead bodies I’m gonna be digging up this mid-afternoon!

So, Neil heads off to the local cemetery with his newly dead band mate to lay low for a little bit, and maybe catch a few well-deserved Zzz’s. But guess who happens to be there… SURPRISE! SURPRISE! It’s Carrie! Who has come to the cemetery after an extensively gratuitous make-up sequence, which is obviously just an excuse for the filmmakers to showcase her supernaturally giant knockers, in order to gather some fresh stiffs to fuck.  As luck would have it this star-crossed love triangle crosses paths and Carrie introduces herself to the hot and cold duo, Neil and Max, and the rest is history. She offers Neil a place to hide and stash Max’s body for a bit until he sorts things out.  I mean, it’s mighty neighborly of Carrie but the fact that Neil isn’t immediately weirded out is a little sad to me. But, again, this guy doesn’t seem to be firing on all cylinders so I guess we can just use that as his excuse.

That a dead guy in your bucket seat or are you just happy to see me?

As soon as Carrie and Neil get to her place and they drop off Max’s body in her bathtub, Neil gets on the horn and contacts his connection, Miss Miles, who set the plan for this whole half-baked heist motion and promised cold, hard cash if they brought her the ice.  Course, now that there’s a dead cop in the mix and Captain Bumblefuck is on the FBI’s shit list this ice is now “too hot”, so the situation’s changed a bit. Neil heads out on foot and runs afoul of some very angry police officers looking for his “cop killing ass”. He is held at gunpoint by one officer in civilian garb whose face spastically alters moment to moment like some kind of rodent on speed. The mustache is the icing on his ballistic cake.

This officer’s most dignified facial expression.

However, Neil gets the drop on the two cops by using his patented “Flying Rat” method! As the popo flings Neil into a pile of garbage he retaliates by grabbing some poor, bystander rat and slings the littler dumpster diver at one of the cops! Eat Temptleton, pigs!!  And this… works?  In terror, the cop discharges his weapon which, luckily, finds purchase right between the eyes of his fellow law enforcement pal. Neil quickly draws his weapon firing several slugs into the gutty works of rodent boy who drops to the piss soaked asphalt and fades into B-movie heaven. Good night, sweet prince!  You know, for being so unlucky Neil sure is lucky…Wait a minute…

It’s hard out here for a punk.

While Neil is off getting his face bashed in and throwing rats all over the joint, Carrie is back at her abode fucking the living daylights…er, what’s left of the daylights, out of dear, departed, Max. She undresses his body in the shower and gets to work grabbing his pale arms and caressing herself with them and puppeting his fingers to pinch her nipples. If you ask me, this just seems like some really labor-intensive masturbation. I mean, really, for all the effort of moving the fucking corpse appendages and waiting for rigor mortis to settle in the damn thing’s sausage link you could be done already by just using YOUR OWN APPENDAGES to get this shit done. But, what do I know, I’ve only dabbled in necrophilia. I’m sure once it’s blossomed from experimentation to a serious, full blown addiction, your own touch just doesn’t cut it, anymore. No matter how much ice cold water you soak them in beforehand, the vag just ain’t buyin it.

Necrophilia: Not as easy as it looks.

Anyhoo, after the marathon cold-cut fuck session, Carrie decides to put that almost-cosmetology license to good use and treats Max’s corpse to mohawk makeover. All of a sudden, a bruised-up Neil busts in and is soon unnerved by his lady harborer’s glee that,”He’s starting to stiffen up! All the really good parts! *tee-HEE*” After a brief, one-sided discussion on Neil’s part explaining just how fucked his situation is and how events have “snowballed” he goes off to the crusty living room couch to crash. Carrie, on the other hand, takes the Maxcadaver to bed with her and discusses her family history with him while smoking Pall Malls, then deciding it’s time for another lengthy deep dicking of the dead.  Well, damn.  I guess it DOES pay to just sit and listen. Neil tries to drown out the disturbingly loud & squishy goth girl necrophiliac noises with couch cushions, firmly deciding,”When I die, I better be fucking cremated!” Because, yeah, heaven for-fucking-bid some gorgeously breasted babe makes use of your body once you’ve departed. I mean, what the hell do you care? Like you’re really doing anything better with it!

Something for the ladies! And the smokers!

The next morning Neil wakes up to find Carrie moving Max’s body out of the apartment. Ummmm… Seems she has other plans for his rotting flesh. It goes without saying, Neil has a bit of an issue with this seeing as in his buddy’s cold, punctured gut sits that gigantic rock that’s the difference between living life on the lam, soaking up some sun in Kokomo or life on the lam bunking in a nicotine stained, musty apartment with a corpse fucker. They get into a bit of a tussle in which Neil seems to have the upper hand after delivering a very slow kung-fu kick to Carrie’s mid-section sending her flipping up and over her Goodwill, filth encrusted love seat.  Oh, and manages to flash us all her whole fruit basket in the process! But the tables turn as Carrie grabs a nearby fuck-skull and smashes it over  Neil’s head. Before he goes unconscious Carrie forbiddingly quips,”I’m sure when you come to you’ll see things my way. You’ll have no choice! *MANIACAL LAUGH*.” Kinda makes you think he’s going to wake up trapped in a coffin being buried alive, but instead, he just wakes up in the apartment, but Carrie’s left with his pal’s body. He’s not tied up or anything, sooooo, yeah. Neil just leaves.

NEIL DOWN BEFORE CARRIE!

Where did Carrie take Max’s remains, you ask? Well, she spiked up his mohawk and took the guy over to the abode of a flamboyant fellow named Blake. You know, the kind of guy who wears puffy armed shirts and capes. He’s in the market for a dead guy to fuck because he has AIDS (!) and wants to have a partner he can ride bareback. Nice to see people play it safe, I guess. Seems he’s purchased cadavers from Carrie before, but never one this fresh. Lucky dog Blake and corpse-pushing Carrie haggle over the price a bit before agreeing on a deal and Blake gets to town riding his new, well broken in, dead fuck mate. But that’s not all! He throws in some more cash for Carrie and hands her what looks like a trash bag to wear with a holes cut into it so her tits hang out of it and then hands her a whip so she can go all Roots on him whilst he rides Max’s Hershey Highway to Hell. I’m sure this was meant to be disturbing but I cannot help but laugh at Gorotica’s grandiose attempt at being provocative and deeply disturbing. Sorry, gang, but this shit is comedic gold.

Joe Don Baker and Edward Norton share a tender moment.

Somehow, nitwit Neil is able to track Blake’s place down (…?), and with gun drawn he barges through the door and claims the body of Max in name of Asshole. What follows is an action-packed finale where Carrie busts out her Indi Jones moves and disarms Neil with a crack of her whip! Neil stabs Blake to death getting the guy’s blood all in his mouth, eyes, and up his nose in the process thereby, in all likelihood, ensuring that he’s contracted HIV/AIDS. Carrie, who can see the bright side of everything, points at the guy, explains his now very topical 90’s doomed dileama, and laughs her ass off. You gotta admit, it is pretty funny. Neil doesn’t quite see the humor in it and blows Carrie away. He FINALLY cuts Max’s stomach open and locates the hidden diamond within. Hastily giving the diamond an unnecessary tongue bath (ew), Neil heads to some seedy motel where he shaves his head into a Travis Bickle style mohawk, douses himself with gasoline and booze, and waits for Miss Miles splayed naked in bed. Miss Miles shows up, gets an eye full, comments on the strong smell of GASOLINE in the motel room and still, as Neil sits on the edge of his bed and put a cigarette to his lips, gives him a light upon request thereby sealing both their fates. Or so I assume as whatever happens after she flicks the Bic happens off camera.

And so ends, Hugh Gallagher’s  bizarre, unintentionally comical, mildly boner inducing, low budget horror cult sophomore effort, “Gorotica”!

Immolating oneself is sooooo erotic! Excuse me, Gorotic. A. Gorotica. 😉

I’ve heard the hand full of fans of this series call Gorotica a huge disappointment after Gorgasm because this follow up doesn’t feature any of the gore the title promises. Personally, I’m really okay with this because Gorotica is a far better movie, if you ask me. The acting’s better, the streamlined, MILDLY believable story doesn’t just kind of make sense, it’s actually relatively coherent!  Sure, there’s not much gore in this second entry in the trilogy, but that’s a moot point when you have such goofy story that hunkers down and takes a little bit of time to tell it’s terribly trashy tale. It’s not a good movie, at all, but it feels like Gallagher has grown a little bit as a video maker. Not a whole lot, I mean, the man’s no Scorsese, but he doesn’t over reach. It’s a small scale story that can be handled on the cheap and doesn’t have an over reliance of effects the man has never been able to pay t have pulled of at all effectively.

The performances are uniformly bad, but you know what, they’re a damn sight better than the performances in “Gorgasm.” Gutterman makes an outstanding corpse, to be honest, rivaling Kim Basinger in tom Petty’s Last Dance with Mary Jane video. In my opinion,  the glue that holds this thing together? Ghetty Chasun as Carrie. She may not be a great actress, but she has plenty of charisma, is always game for whatever is thrown her way in the film, doesn’t mind showing off her goods and is pretty easy on the eyes, which you can’t really say about the lead in “Gore Whore”, Gallagher’s final installment in the Gore Trilogy. It’s always fun watching Ghetty Chasun on screen, whether it’s mingling with an AIDS infected necrophiliac wearing a cape or putting out her cigarette in an ashtray balanced on a naked dead guy’s chest, I just can’t keep my eyes off of her.

Desperately Seeking Ghetty. We miss you!

What the Hell ever happened to Ms. Chasun, anyway? She did a handful of flicks in the 90’s and then just kind of vanished off the face of the earth. IMDB lists her birth date, her measurements,  (36C-29-38 according to the experts) and that she’s a Capricorn. If anyone has any information as to how Ghetty’s doing or if she’d be interested in doing an interview, drop your pal The Primal Root a line, will ya?

Gorotica is a more mature and more refined offering from Gallagher (which isn’t saying much) and if you can get past the fact that there simply isn’t that much GORE in GORotica, this flick’s actually a pretty fun piece of stinky Trash Cinema. And in this Trash Cinema Connoisseur’s eyes, Gorotica is the strongest flick in the Trilogy. But, it could just be my unhealthy crush on Ms. Chasun talking…

Stay Trashy!

-Root


30
Oct
11

Halloween Rotten Review! Ep.22: Rocktober Blood (NSFW)

Hey Gang,

The Primal Root here, and man, I just can’t get into the Halloween spirit this year! It just feels as if I’ve seen every Halloween themed horror movie out there a million times! Just sitting here at Video 21 waiting to close down for the night, contemplating going Trick or Treating, when some last minute customers barge in and all of a sudden I find myself face to face with just piece of Trash Cinema I had been hoping for: Rocktober Blood.

Rocktober Blood is an inept, blood soaked,  hair metal epic! Featuring some of the worst acting I’ve ever witnessed, poor production values, terrible editing and some genuinely catchy cheesy 80’s metal tunes.  Plenty of murder, mayhem, plot twists, brain hemorrhaging reveals, 30 minute long bathing sequences and one incredible finale that takes place during the now LEGENDARY Rocktober Blood Concert of 1984.

So join me, your host The Primal Root, and get into the Halloween spirit as we check out one of the strangest, goofiest and trashiest films from the VHS era! Join me for a heaping helping of, Rocktober Blood!

And a VERY Special Thanks to Kevin Johnson of Celluloid Cesspool for not only introducing us to Rocktober Blood bot for sending us his personal copy which made this Rotten Review possible. Many thank, my friend!

Stay Trashy and have a Happy Halloween!

-Root

<p><a href=”http://vimeo.com/95893611″>(NSFW) Rocktober Blood (1984) The Primal Root’s Rotten Reviews Episode 22</a> from <a href=”http://vimeo.com/user24396091″>Kevin Cole</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

21
Oct
11

Root’s Trashy Halloween Playlist

Hey Gang! Yesterday I spent a good portion of my waking hours sorting through tons of creepy, sexy, strange music so I could put together a list of songs for my favorite night of the year, Halloween. I began compiling and typing and about 5 hours later I had to cut myself off because the list had suddenly become a small novel.

 So, I figured for the sake of all my fellow Collectors I would go ahead and cull the heard and select a handful of favorites fro you to peruse. And NO, there will be no HALLOWEEN BY THE MISFITS or BELA LUGOSI’S DEAD BY BAUSHAUS! I am trying to spotlight some often overlooked songs on the eternal Halloween jukebox.

And, please, by all means, list some of your favorite Halloween songs in the comments!  Enjoy!

Ah, nothing says it’s time for Halloween like the Sister’s Wiggin rock trio, The Shaggs,  singing the praises of our favorite holiday! Really, just one listen to this sucker and you will be convinced, yes, it’s Halloween.

Favorite Lyrics: All the kids are happy and gay. There doesn;t seem to be a cloud in their way. But when it’s over. and they’ve had all their fun, they’ll wish that Halloween had just begun.

word.

 For those who know me this should come as no surprise. I am an avid fan of Queens of the Stone Age and this track. ‘Burn the Witch’ off their album Lullabies to Paralyze is a perfect blend of Halloween spirit and the bands typical Devil may care swagger. Perfect opener for your Halloween debauchery.

Favorite Lyrics: Fan the flames with a little lie, then turn your cheek, until the fire dies
The skin it peels, like the truth, away. What it was I will never say…

 Meant as a satire of Bob Geldof’s “Do They Know it’s Christmas”, “Do They Know It’s Halloween” begs American’s to save the country from the horror that is…Halloween. Track features such artists as Beck, Roky Erickson, Karen O, Fiest, Sonic Youth and Arcade Fire. Simply put, this song is epic.

Favorite Lyrics: ‘Fools! You think you can stop Hallowe’en?’ ‘The world can’t hear your useless plea!’
‘It’s too late! Our orange and black plague will soon consume them all!’ ‘Then everyone will understand the true meaning of Hallowe’en…’

Looking to turn your Halloween soiree in a shit kicking, badass ruckus? Look no further than the twisted musings of Haunted Garage! They;re sick, they’re vile. and their music is custom made for late night Halloween horror.

Favorite Lyrics: Just call me Satan in the morning, just suck my dick before you leave me.

Taking things into a darker direction, VAST’s “Pretty When You Cry” , every time I listen to, just makes me feel a littler drty, A little violated. Maybe its because it reminds me of the video? Perhaps the lyrics that sound like a sociopath who likes to cut up young girls justifying his actions, or the dark, moody, hypnotic music? Perhaps a combination of all three? Either way, the song is one of the catchiest songs possibly about manipulating a murdering women ever made.  Which is quite the feat.

Favorite Lyrics: You’re made of my rib, oh baby, you’re made of my sin. And I can’t tell where your lust ends and where your love begins…

Okay, yeah, I realize Yeah Yeah Yeahs are a bit poppy but there are few bands around singing really good danceable rock music about decapitation.

Favorite Lyrics:Off, off, off, with your head. Dance, dance, dance, ’til you’re dead.

 If you’re chasing trouble on Halloween might as well make this your soundtrack. Because there’s nothing like causing mayhem while shaking your ass to the beat.

Favorite Lyrics: I’m gonna browse for a woman who can help me chase the devil. Yeah, I’m gonna chase the devil tonight. GET DOWN!

A bit of a stalker song but it’s got a cool hook and a very creepy vibe to it. Which makes sense.

Favorite Lyrics: I know you’re probably getting ready for bed. Beautiful woman, get out of my head. I’m so tired of the same old crud. Sweet baby, I need fresh blood.

One of my favorite tracks off The Raveonettes’ album “Lust, Lust, Lust”, “Dead Sound” is a sad song that is really upbeat. It may not explicitly be about anything Halloween related but the overall feel of the the song and the repeated line “Dead Sound…Dead Sound” makes it work on a Halloween playlist. Morose, chilly, up-tempo and simply a great track. Other stuff to check out by The Raveonettes for you Halloween playlist: Attack of the Ghost Riders, Do You Believe Her, Bowels of the Beast, My boyfriend’s Back and Beat City

Favorite Lyrics:  And now you go through a million girls snd try to pick what’s right. When nigtfall comes and you’re still alone do you feel it deep inside?

Oooh, Nick Cave, there are few artists that I listen to more often once autumn rolls into town. This has been a Halloween favorite of mine since as far back as I can recall. Nick singing the classic” Up Jumped the Devil”, a cautionary tale about where you’ll end up if you are up to the Devil’s business. Which, I am certain to be up to this Halloween…

Favorite Lyrics: O poor heart, I was doomed from the start. Doomed to play the villians part. I was the baddest Johnny in the apple cart. My blood was blacker than the chambers of a dead nun’s heart.

Well, there are a few of my selections for this year’s festivities. I hope you enjoyed at least one or two of them. Be sure to add them to your playlist this Halloween just in case I drop by unannounced having transformed into a werewolf. 😀 Now, please, share some of your favorites with The Collective!   Happy Halloween, Gang!

21
Jul
11

‘(It’s a) Complex World’: God told us to laugh at you.

a Primal Root review

In a world where rock music, rampant drug use and promiscuous sex is destroying the moral fiber of today’s youth there can be only one solution. Stick some plastic explosives in a keg and blow up a filthy club filled with degenerates! Of course, this is the world of 1992 and the hot bed for this moral degradation is The Heartbreak Hotel in Providence which happens to be owned by the son of a political talking head who is running for the office of the President of the United States of America. Can you say, “conspiracy?”

Well, in this case you would be right. From the very beginning ‘Complex World’ makes it’s intentions clear and let’s you in on what’s happening much like the suspenseful dynamite in the trunk opening of Orson Wells’ classic, ‘Touch of Evil’. Only here, the outcome isn’t made clear till the very end when exhaustive collection of characters and plot lines all come together and lead to a stand-off that will either blow your mind or haunt your nightmares. A political killing is underway as the communist hating, paranoid, presidential nominee has send out an elite terrorist hit squad to wipe The Heartbreak Hotel and all it’s inhabitants off the face of the earth, but first, they try to get a little ransom money out of the club’s manager and presidential nominees son, Jeff. That is, if they can get him to give a shit or fear death…

‘Complex World’ takes place over the course of one night at The Heartbreak Hotel over the back drop of a double billed concert.  Folk-singer/terrorist, Morris Brock, who revels in creating the most negative, violence inducing songs possible (‘Why Do We Feed the Broads?’, ‘New Jersey’), is opening up for an experimental metal band called The Young Adults who sing the ridiculously uncatchy title track, ‘Complex World’ as well as a love song about a man and a bush entitled ‘I married a Tree’,  a hopeful  endorsement of committing suicide when your life is at it’s worst simply called, ‘Kill Yourself’, and my personal favorite, ‘Christmas in Japan in July.’

What I describe to you here is really the bare minimum of the plot. To describe anymore would not only spoil a lot of the fun and magic that is ‘Complex World’, but I doubt me telling you about it would really do the film justice. Take my word for it, the film is a twisted, hilarious trip back to the early days of the 90’s that perfectly captures the strange shift in attitude and music that would come to define the early-mid part of the decade. It’s a movie that also takes a good hard look at the political industrial complex with intense disdain, then shrugs it’s shoulders and walks away from all it’s bullshit. Ultimately saying, if you don’t give into their brand of control and bullying, that only then will we ever truly be free.

‘Complex World’ is well worth tracking down and giving it a go. We happen to have a copy on VHS at Video 21 in Tallahassee if you ever happen to be in the area for an extended stay. I highly recommend you check this one out.

Stay Trashy,

-The Primal Root

Here’s a clip from ‘Complex World’ featuring Morris Brock performing ‘New Jersey.’

08
Jun
10

Monster Bash 2010: Movies, Monsters, and Mayhem

The Primal Root’s Dirty Thoughts

Hey gang, Jess (Moonshine) and I just came back from Atlanta Georgia after attending The Silver Scream Spookshow’s Rock and Roll Monster Bash 2010 over at the Starlight Six Drive-In Theater. As a life long student of Drive-In culture and one of the many carrying a torch for this long standing American tradition I felt it was my duty, my destiny to be in attendance. The Drive-In tradition is one of exploitation, sleaze and mindless fun where everyone drops their hang ups and goes for it. I went for a bash, I went for spectacle, I went for some Trash Cinema Classics. I did not leave disappointed.

Moonshine and I got in a right at noon, the skies were dark and overcast which made us a little nervous about the rain but otherwise thrilled that it would be cooler out there than anticipated on that long stretch of black top in the hellish Georgia summer heat. We drove directly to the same spot we claimed at last year’s Drive-Invasion, popped up our shade, filled up our cooler with the essentials and got ready for the long, nasty, fun filled day ahead of us.

PBR: Official Cheap-O Beer of the Trash Cinema Collective

Once things got swinging we both took a trip up to the vendor area to check out what people were selling. There was an excellent selection of vintage Grindhouse posters and lobby cards, original art work, and all manner of t-shirts emblazoned with every sleazy flick you could imagine. There was some very cool stuff on display, as always, and my lovely lady Moonshine and I had a pleasurable time perusing and chatting it up with our Drive-In brethren.


Another great feature of the Monster Bash were the six ass kicking rockabilly, metal, and rock and roll bands who got this hootenanny hopping. Probably my favorite performance of the whole day happened early on as The Luchagors took the stage in full costume and gave a no holds barred, high energy, performance. Not to sell the other bands short because Grinder Nova, Apocalyptic Visions, Daikaiju, Iron Maiden Tribute, and Frankenstein all got in the spirit of things a gave their all.

The Luchagors


Grinder Nova

Also on hand were the ladies and gents of Atlanta’s own Blast-Off Burlesque who in between bands entertained us Drive-In Mutants with some sultry moves up on the main stage. Those young ladies certainly know how to captivate an audience, let me tell ya.

Who was our Master of ceremonies, you ask? None of than the man behind the Spookshow himself, Proffessor Morte and his gang! This was my first time encountering the Silver Scream Spookshow troupe but they were pretty darn funny. It could be just because I’m a dork but every singles joke they made had me in stitches. Whenever they took the stage I was reminded of the traditional Saturday morning horror movie hosts. they were cheesy, but in the absolutely best possible way. Their tone perfectly fit the show.

Professor Morte overseeing the Brain Eating Contest.

During all this fun there was something called the Model Shoot Out or something…Not exactly sure what that whole deal was but apparently it was the reason there were so many guys and gals running around with heavy duty cameras snapping pictures of all these scantly clad, good looking, women with colored hair and blood spattered across their faces all over the place. I am not complaining one little bit. Hell, as girls would pose I;d snap a few shots myself with my dinky little camera. If anything, it added to the good vibes.

VAMPIRELLA! Thwart my raging boner!


As the sun went down the rain began to come down on the Drive-In crowd for about a half an hour. Thankfully it came to a hault just as our Double Feature of 70’s nature revenge films began. First up…

KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS!

The infamous killer tarantula flick from 1977 starring the ever talented William Shatner. This little beauty of a horror film is about a small country town out in the desert that’s getting ready for some kind of yearly jamboree they always put on to bring in the tourists and help out the local economy. Of course an army of about a billion migrating, flesh eating, uber toxic pissed of tarantulas arrive on the scene mere days before the event killing off livestock and the residents. William Shatner plays the local veterinarian who calls in the help of a sophisticated big city sexy blonde female veterinarian to figure it all out and poke with his cattle prod in the process. Our two scientists come to the conclusion that due to DDT and other chemicals killing off all their typical prey the local spiders have grown aggressive and are now hunting for food in packs and taking on all sorts of bigger game. The question is…how long till they turn on us? Answer: Real quick.

Kingdom of the Spiders may not make a whole lot of sense when looked at critically (Just step on the spiders, man.) but one can’t deny the terror inherent in having a face covered in hairy, bulbous, flesh eating spiders. Another element that sets this flick above many of it’s contemporaries is that it takes it’s time to establish every single character, their relationships and their emotional connections. You really get the feeling that every death is a tragedy and you feel the weight that each of these deaths has on the people closest to the victim. And this is a low budget monster movie! Truly a cut above the typical revenge of nature film.

Our second feature…

GRIZZLY! (1976)

Our second feature of the evening was the intense JAWS rip-off GRIZZLY about a nature reserve and park beset by some kind of prehistoric man eating killer grizzly bear from Hell. This sucker has come down the mountain in hopes of finding some folks eat although he seems to really enjoy just ripping their limbs off and leaving their bodies.

Grizzly was the most successful independently produced film of 1976. Watching it for the first time I couldn’t for the life of me understand why. It’s pretty bad even by Trash Cinema standards. It follows the JAWS outline with no subtlety whatsoever. In fact, I never learned the three main character’s names I just called them by which character from JAWS they were. There’s the frustrated head forest ranger who has just been relocated to this park who is our Sheriff Brody in this picture (played by, to my surprise and enjoyment, Christopher George of Pieces and Gates of Hell fame), there’s our young scientific bear specialist who likes to enter the bears natural environment to study them (Who will be our Hooper) and then there’s our bear hunting, vietnam veteran helicopter pilot to serve as our Quint. Yeah, he even has a Vietnam speech.

It’s all kind of dull outside the highly comical attack sequences where limbs fly through the air covered in red tempera paint and attached to fishing lines. This stuff is classic and I laughed myself silly. I will give kudos to the filmmakers behind Grizzly for having the balls to have their killer bear attack a small child and rip his leg off before killing the little boys broom wielding mother. That scene is the high point of the entire film. Well, next to the part where our Forest Ranger blows the living shit out of the Grizzly with a bazooka.

Moonshine at the 7th Annual Monsterbash

All and all we had sweaty, boozed up, epic time at The Rock and Roll Monster Bash this year and we are both ready for next year’s get down. Now we just gotta recoup for Starlight Six’s Drive-Invasion this September. Thanks for showing us Floridians such a good time, guys! We’ll be seeing you again in a few months. I recommend you guys reading this plan on attending next year’s Monster Bash. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

The Primal Root at the old stomping ground of Trash Cinema.

As my hero Joe Bob Briggs always says, “The Drive-In Will Never Die!”

Stay Trashy,
-The Primal Root




Dumpster Diving

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