Posts Tagged ‘creepy

15
Feb
17

Twisted Kitten: February Devil Girl Valentine of the Month 2017

Well, hello there, Gang! It’s your old friend The Primal Root and I am eager to introduce to you our exquisite, ravishing, Devil Girl for the Month of February, a blood drenched Valentine just for you, Twisted Kitten! Her spread is certain to get your heart beating right out of your rib cage, ladies and gents…BUT, before we feast our evil eyes, let’s get to know our latest member of The Trash Cinema Collective’s Devil Girl Warriors…

The Primal Root: What appealed to you about the concept of ripping your own heart out of your chest? You certainly made it look quite pleasant!
Twisted Kitten: I love special effects and when Kayla said I was going to be ripping my heart I couldn’t help but be excited. I think it takes a whole new meaning to “eat your heart out”. Thank you, it was rather delicious. And hey if who knew it taste that could, I’d rather eat it then let a guy break it. 😜

Root: Twisted Kitten, could you please tell us a little about yourself? Your passions, what inspires you? How do you keep it Trashy?

Twisted Kitten: I’m college student, my major is in graphic design. But I’m heavily into cosmetology, I love to dye my hair crazy colors. Actually died it red for this shoot. I’m also a Special effects artist and have been doing it for about 5 years, that’s actually how Kayla and I met. I’ve always been into gore. I swear sometimes I think Netflix will run out of horror movies for me. I can’t get enough of those crazy slashers and gruesome thrillers. Bloods never bothered me, in fact I think it’s intriguing. That’s probably another reason I was into this shoot it involved rubbing “blood” on me. I guess you could say I’m a little “TWISTED”. But I’m not all creepy, I also love art and creating it myself. I love to draw and paint and nature usually inspires especially trees I love how their branches intertwine.

Root: So, we just endured the traditional  Hallmark Holiday, Valentine’s Day. What are some of your favorite Trashy Anti-Valentine’s Day flicks you like to bust out on February 14th?
Twisted Kitten: Probably the same as most people the classic anti- Valentine’s Day movie the original My Bloody Valentine from the 80s. The new one is pretty cool to but can’t beat the original right. Besides I’ve always loved older films anyway, probably because my parents grew up in the 80s and they love showing me moves and songs they used to see and hear. I also think Valentines is a good trashy movie to watch on Valentine’s Day. There’s also a more recent movie that I’ll probably start watching on all the holidays to be honest. It’s called Holidays and it’s several segments put together for one movie and it’s a horror story inspired by each holiday. Very cool. Very trashy.
Root: What song would you pick to accompany your Devil Girl spread?

Twisted Kitten: Well at first I was thinking something sexy but while looking for a song a came across something even better. Eat your heart out Annie by the Jodimars. It’s just too perfect. It’s cute valentines-y swing song. I love swing dancing used to know it pretty well when I was younger.
Root: Do you have any filthy words of wisdom for the Trash Cinema Collective hoping to be a Devil Girl/Guy one day?

Twisted Kitten: I think if you want to be a Devil Girl/Guy you should go for it. You should be proud of your body, everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way, hey I look good with blood on my butt, you just have to find something that makes you proud to be you. You also don’t have to be naked to be desiring and tantalizing. Sometimes a little imagination is better. So don’t let that stop you; everyone was very supportive and liked me covering more than the other Devil Girl/Guys. Thank you Trash Cinemas for the opportunity to be part of the trashy family 🙂

 

Root: Twisted Kitten, it is our absolute pleasure to welcome you to The Trash Cinema Collective! Thank you so much for gracing us with this gorgeous, dark and seductive Bloody Valentine. ❤ 

Model and MUAH: Twisted Kitten

Photographer: Rewski Photography

30
Oct
16

(NSFW) Exotic Zombie: Halloween Devil Girl 2016

Gang, as I am sure you’re well aware, the glorious dark, yearly celebratory evening of Halloween is upon us. Tomorrow night we release or inhibitions, unleash the monsters within and present to the world our other side. The strange, bizarre and often macabre side that society at large so often frowns upon. The Night of Halloween represents to so many of us a form of freedom and pleasure unrivaled by any other holiday. An evening of indulgence. And this filthy beast can imagine no more fitting expression of the excitement, the beauty or the creepy wonder of our favorite holiday here at The Trash Cinema Collective than with an astounding new spread from our gorgeous Devil Girl, Exotic Zombie as The Mistress of the Dark, herself, Elvira! This Halloween Devil Girl spread is all treat and not trick as Exotic Zombie gives us one very dark, sensual and ridiculously fun spread!  Let’s get SPOOPY, Gang! 

The Primal Root: Exotic Zombie, you have gone and beyond this year! First, your spot on Frankenhooker spread for Valentine’s Day and now, as our 2016 Halloween Devil Girl, you’ve given us a seductive, sensual, spoopy Elvira spread sure to get our Trash Cinema Collective Member’s popcorn poppin’! You’re one hard working Devil Girl, EZ. 😀

TPR: What drew you to the character of Elvira: Mistress of the Dark for this shoot?

Exotic Zombie: Halloween! It’s my favorite time of year! The misty foggy mornings, the evenings cool enough for horror flicks and fire gatherings, and most of all the welcoming mood of all things spooky and weird, like myself… Who better to portray than the Maiden of Macabre, Elvira! When I found my outfit at The Other Side Vintage, tried it on, and got a crazy reaction from friends on Facebook, I discovered what it’s like to have big… hair. Who doesn’t love that kind of attention!?


TPR: Where did you shoot this spread? The sets are creepy as Hell!
EZ: I became reacquainted with the owner of the local haunted house during an interview, I took a tour at their new location and I was inspired by several creepy nooks and webbed corners. Terror of Tallahassee has been around for 18 years and it was such an honor to use the facility that has become such a yearly local tradition!

TPR: Any fun or interesting stories you can share with us about your spooktacular Devil Girl spread?
EZ: As a photographer, I very rarely end up on the other side of the camera. I always start out nervous. Elvira has such an eclectic and bubbly personality, it was really easy to get into character and feel comfortable. It was even easier getting out of clothes!!! Warehouses typically don’t have air conditioning and things tend to get hot and steamy when there’s a 5 man crew, 2 cameras being passed around, and several lights heating up the room!
For a sexy spooky shoot like this, my biggest advice would be to avoid fog machines in small and non ventilated areas… and keep the nipple jewelry simple when wearing metal webs on your breasts!


TPR: So, with Halloween approaching, what horror movies or creepy shows do you plan on watching on that most filthiest of days? Also, what sugary treats will you be munching on as you let the horrific cinema wash over you?
EZ: I try to squeeze in as much horror as possible every day of the year! My must sees for the month of October consists of: Hocus Pocus, 28 Days and Weeks Later, Thirteen Ghosts, Young Frankenstein, and Trick R Treat is a new additions! The perfect treat for this ghoul during the best time of year would have to be pumpkin seeds, baked fresh from a new monsterpiece carving!

TPR: What are you dressing up as for Trashyween this year? Any mischief planned for the big night?

 
EZ: My closet is FILLED with monsters! If I could dress up every day of the month, I may not even be able to exhibit them all. I have had several requests to appear as Elvira at parties and even a wedding! I am honored to portray such a classic icon for all things dark and spooky!

TPR: If you could pick one song to be the soundtrack for your Devil Girl spread, what would it be?

I wanted to pick something less traditional or stereotypical this Halloween. Nightcall is the perfect selection for conjuring the darkness from within.

TPR: Okay, one last question, is it cool if I call you “Mistress of the Dark” in person?


Any day of the year! 😉

I would like to give credit to all of those who were involved with this amazingly spooktacular set! This wouldn’t be so epic without you all!

Model and MUAH: yours truly!
Editing: Rewski Photography
Photographer(s): Kevin Cole aka the Primal Root, Qas Jordan aka Bootsie Kidd, and Wade Bishop of Wade Bishop Photography!
Location: Terror of Tallahassee
Special thanks to my husband Jeremy King for great behind the scenes, Rich Robards for additional shots and setup, and Joe Fisher for the props, Sarah Lamb for the spider bra, and The OTHER SIDE Vintage for providing the costume as well!

Please visit my website at https://rewskiphotography.smugmug.com/ to purchase your favorite Devil Girl prints!!!! Don’t forget to check out these links too:

https://rewskiphotography.smugmug.com/Devil-Girl-Spreads-NSFW/
https://www.facebook.com/Rewski.Photography/
https://www.facebook.com/wadebishopphotography/
https://www.facebook.com/Terroroftallahassee/
https://www.facebook.com/theothersidevintage/

Without any further a due, we invite you feast your eyes on the most bewitching of Halloween Devil Girls spreads and the gorgeous Exotic Zombie takes you into her dark lair fro a Halloween thrill like you’ve never known. Oh, and Gang, Happy Halloween!

Stay Spoopy!

-Root

25
Nov
15

(NSFW) Murder Monroe: November Devil Girl of the Month (2015)

Happy Trashgiving, Gang! It’s your old pal The Primal Root here and I am here to introduce to you one of the greatest reasons to be thankful we’re keeping it Trashy, our November Devil Girl of the Month,  the gorgeous, mysterious, cornucopia of sexuality, Murder Monroe! Her sultry, dark and entrancing photo spread inspired by Donnie Darko is truly a feast for the eyes, one you will be dreaming of long after those Trashgiving leftovers have cleared your gullet. Before you lay your lustful little eyes on Murder Monroe’s tantalizing photos, let’s get to know this one of a kind beauty...

The Primal Root: Before we get started, please allow me to state how incredibly Thankful we are to be featuring you, Ms. Murder Monroe, as our November Devil Girl of the Month this Trashgiving.  You look quite fetching and fierce in your Frank mask, I might add. Why did you decide to go with a Donnie Darko theme for your first Devil Girl spread? 

Murder Monroe: I chose Donnie Darko for it’s weirdness but also its unapologetic And irreverent beauty when you get right down to it its really kind of a love story. Of a sorts or at least that’s how I remember it…its been awhile.

Root: No one loves a good mystery more than I do, but it’s a shame you don’t show your lovely face in this risqué and trashy spread. Can you drop some clues as to who might be under that furry, frightful mask? What are you into? Where are you from? What are some of your favorite haunts? 

Monroe: Clues huh… Let’s just say I’m townie (Tally born and raised) but new to The Trash Cinema Collective scene. I’m a recent vinyl convert and lover of all things fantasy/fiction/SciFi. I like comic books and graphic novels but prefer marvel universe over DC. My favorite haunts include Bird’s, Finnegan’s wake (when its not too crowded), Lucky goat coffee, red eye and the bookshelf 2.

Root: Now, the question I am sure is on everyone’s mind, what are some of your favorite Trash Cinema Classics? 

Monroe: Trash Cinema Classics… Well, for sure there’s Beetlejuice, my all time favorite, Troll 2, Pet Semetary 1 & 2, all of the Child’s Play movies, Freddy Kruger and let’s not forget Michael Myers.

Root: With your creative spread, gorgeous figure, and feminine mystique, I am sure this question is on all my fellow filth aficionados minds, can we expect to see you in some future Devil Girl spreads? 

Monroe: I would definitely be up for being a Devil Girl again! Although, it may be hard to top this one. It turned out better than I anticipated.

Root: What song would you like attached to your Devil Girl spread? What song sums it up for you? 

Monroe: The song I’d like attached to my Devil Girl spread is Yaz (known in the UK as Yazoo) “Only you”. And the song that sums me up… Honestly it’s a toss up between Rob Zombie’s Living Dead Girl and Radiohead’s Creep. 😉

Root: Any words of wisdom for The Trash Cinema Collective? 

Monroe: Life is short, eat the cake, buy the shoes and have that damn drink…and stay trashy, of course. 😛

Photography by Bootsie Kidd & The Primal Root

11
Oct
15

Hell Night (1981) Party on, Garth!

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a Primal Root written review

“If you weren’t screaming, and we weren’t screaming, then someone is trying to mind fuck us here.” Seth, Hell Night

I’m not going to lie to you, there were a ton of slasher films made in the wake of the independent horror mega hit, Halloween in 1979. They all followed the formula with varying degree of success. Many tried new ground and failed to deliver the goods, others just didn’t understand the appeal and tried for a quick, meaningless cash grab, while others delivered on the gore and tits but left little to be desired in the thrill department.  Being a life long, die hard admirer of the horror genre, I am willing to give anything a go and I am always thrilled to find an example of a genre film that has every excuse in the world to be a lousy phoned in slasher flick actually put forth the effort, rises above the cliched premise, and delivers something entertaining, actually scary and downright fucking solid in execution. 1981’s Hell Night is a perfect example.

Four pledges, Marty (Linda Blair of The Exorcist and Savage Streets fame) Jeff (Peter Barton from Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter), Seth ( Vincent Van Patten from Rock and Roll High School) and Denise (Suki Goodwin…umm…) must go through with the initiation ritual pleasantly referred to as Hell Night which means they all must spend the night in the abandoned Garth Manor, where a dozen years or so earlier Raymond Garth murdered his wife, killed off all their deformed offspring and then committed suicide. The youngest of their spawnage, Andrew referred to as a…Gork (?), was never found and the legend goes that he still lives somewhere within Garth Manor, which contains numerous secret passages and catacombs running below the enormous mansion.

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Once the four lovely young people are locked in for the night behind the 12 foot tall wrought iron fence which encircles the property, complete with razor sharp spikes at the top where anyone trying to haul their asses over it “might cut their nuts off”, Fraternity and Sorority leaders begin a campaign of pranks in an attempt to scare the shit out of the pledges all while Seth and Denise get all weird and kinky in an upstairs bedroom playing goofy and endearing surfboard role playing, Marty and Pater spend their time chatting and forming a friendship by the living room fireplace. But it isn’t long before the presence of these young people bring to life a dark, malevolent force in the house one that strikes out at the pranksters first and then slowly, mercilessly, begins hunting down our four pledges.

Hell Night works shockingly well despite what comes across as a pretty by the numbers premise. Stick four attractive young people in a dark, forbidding location, unleash a plot contrivance to search them down and kill them one by one according their sluttiness and casual narcotics usage, leave one girl behind to kill the monster and call it a day. But where Hell Night succeeds flawlessly is actually taking the time to create real, interesting, human characters and not some phony, cynical bullshit axe fodder that you can’t wait to see get their heads ripped from their neck stumps. The young people in Hell Night are genuinely likable, shit, even relatable. And this is a huge fucking rarity for a “dead teenage” flick.

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Let’s take a moment to look at Seth, probably my favorite character in the flick. This guy is a muscle bound, blonde, weed smoking surfer guy who, according to himself, only cares about drinking, surfing and screwing. In your run of the mill slasher film, this guy would be written of as dead meat right then in there. Horny jock? That sucker is toast! But in Hell Night, these conventions are kicked to the curb and Seth is proven to be not only quite intelligent, but heroic, loyal, and resourceful. As a long time fan of the slasher genre, I can tell you, Seth’s behavior and acts of heroism are not often seen in the slasher formula. In a way, this makes Seth a kind of wild card, as we so very seldom see this kind of character, we are put of edge not knowing just what might happen to him.

That same sentiment goes for the character of Marty. Linda Blair creates a unique and admirable blue collar badass out of Marty. She grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, comes from a working class family where she grew up fixing cars along with her mechanic Father (PLOT POINT!) and provides an interesting contrast to the other, more privileged, pledges.  There’s even a great extended conversation early in the film about class structure and capitalism between Marty and Jeff. It’s a fantastic moment where two characters are feeling one another out as they get to know one another along with the audience. We’re not talking anything deeply philosophical here, but it far exceeds what the format typically calls for, and that’s worth praising. These characters are real to life, identifiable and ultimately likable. We fear for them and it really does suck when these characters are killed and are no longer in the movie. You actually mourn the loss. See, this effort makes Hell Night far scarier than it’s next of kin.

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There are no red herrings in Hell Night, only a menacing, blood thirsty antagonist that remains hidden in the shadows for about 95% of the film’s running time. AGAIN, this works in Hell Night‘s favor, as it adds a legitimate feeling of unease and fear as we imagine just what or whom is lurking in the darkness, in those catacombs, racing towards us down the candle lit hallways of Garth Manor.  However, the number of killers at work here is left in question, which also adds to the uneasy tension Hell Night generates. But, when you stop and think about the premise of Hell Night, it does kind of dawn on you that these college kids ARE trespassing on Private Property…I guess The Garth clan has every right to butcher these assholes invading their home. Who are the real bad guys here? 😉 This flick even manages to create some genuine suspense as one young pledge, in a panic, decides to scale the high fence surrounding Garth Manor and must hoist his weight over numerous spikes poised to pierce his tender young flesh. When looking for help, all the young people can find is useless authority and they must rely on themselves, their cunning and resourcefulness to survive Hell Night.

Alright, so when all is said and done, is Hell Night original? Hardly. What it actually is, is a well crafted and performed Spook Show Haunted House. It’s genuinely thrilling, fun, and even pretty goddamn nightmarish at times. Hell Night is a sadly overlooked piece of slasher film history, one I continually wait to see it becoming rediscovered and reaching the cult status it so richly deserves. Boasting some fine performances, nasty, mean, mother fucking monsters, some outstanding cleavage from a still baby faced Linda Blair, a genuinely creepy score and the patience to really create some worthwhile characters, Hell Night is, in this filthy fright flick fan’s opinion, is one of the better slasher efforts to come out of the 1980’s.

WORD OF WARNING: There is NO nudity in Hell Night.

I’m awarding Hell Night FOUR out of FIVE Dumpster Nuggets

Stay Trashy, Gang!

-Root

31
Mar
15

It Follows (2014) Sex, Ghosts and Walk-A-Thons

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a Primal Root written review

Let me get this out of the way, I am stupendously happy, thrilled even, when an independent horror movie makes it big, is released wide and actually sells tickets. No matter how good or piss poor, that does not matter to me one single bit, I just want the powers that be to give interesting, strange, unique ideas a fucking chance to thrive. There is a market that exists for oddities. Movies that test boundaries, flesh out ideas never before explored, and whether I go away on the verge of tears over watching something so awe inspiringly great or I walk out with my eyes rolling out of my head over how boring the whole experience was, I want NEW! I want FRESH! I want to see what’s churning inside the melons of all us aging youngsters that came of age on a steady diet of video store horror movie rentals, long summer nights spent gorging or sweet young minds on 90’s MTV, HBO Real Sex, and the rise and proliferation of tabloid journalism!  Whether it’s people getting sewn together ass to mouth, 90 minutes of static video footage of young assholes sleeping while their door movies a centimeter, or some slasher in a shitty mask sets up horrifying home alone style traps and collects his victims, I don;t care. Just keep bringing them on. Because I would rather spend my money on a filmmaker who is trying to do something he or she believes in than some cash in fucking remake of someone else’s vision.

That being said, I saw It Follows directed by David Robert Mitchell this past weekend. I went in blind, actively avoiding trailers and reviews and only hearing buzz from friends and NPR. It payed off when i saw Babadook, one of the better horror offerings I’ve seen in a damn good while, so being the eager horror cinema fan that I am, I offered up my money and braced for impact and the lights dimmed and one of the best reviewed films of the year flickered to life on the screen.

Let me tell me give you the low down. You get fucked and you get cursed by an entity that relentlessly, methodically, slowly follows you, tracking you down no matter where you are so that it can kill you. Only the fucked or fuckers can see the titular “IT” of the title which follows you around. This thing can take on any form, can piss anywhere, and can be stopped by closing a door.  The only way to stop it from following you is to fuck someone else, and then they are cursed to be followed till they pass the Ghost-T-D to some other unlucky bastard willing to spread ’em open wide or poke for your nasty haunted ass.

Cool enough premise, it’s like The Ring but with genitals rather than VHS tapes. There are all kinds of way to go with this thing, my imagination was over run with thoughts of where a concept like this might lead, how the teens encountering such a nightmarish creature would react, I mean, the possibilities are endless. The first twenty minutes or so, leading up the the inciting incident, are actually pretty interesting. We learn about our central characters and our lead ing lady, blonde, budding sexual teenage girl and the masturbation fodder of every young boy in her neighborhood, Jay (Maika Monroe)  who is no stranger to getting laid, as we learn, and without giving everything the movie has in store away, ends up getting cursed with the sex monster early in the film.

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Not quick to believe that anything supernatural is happening, Jay believes what happened to her was a bizarre rape scenario, and leaves it at that. Until “IT” begins hunting her down at school, in her kitchen, in her bedroom, wherever she is, this thing is there showing off it’s Hanes underwear, hairy ball sack or busted gob. The visages “IT” decides to show itself as often relates itself to ac lose personal relationship or some nastier trauma or horror. Sometimes it’s truly creepy, other times it;s awkwardly humorous.  All I can say is that I have my Halloween costume for 2015, all I need is a bag of corn starch, a ladder to climb onto my roof with and to stop trimming my Little Root region. If you see the movie, you’ll know what I mean.

It’s a great concept that drags on for far too long, plus, these teenagers are all life suckingly dull. Their lives are in peril and they act so bored, so laid back and uninterested, it’s hard for me to work up enough interest to care in their fates. In the film’s climactic battle at an indoor pool we are treated to what feels like ten minutes of kids passively sitting around, napping, looking like they’ve already had the life drained out of them through their pink teenage sexual organs. Maika Monroe, the actress portraying Jay, does a pretty good job freaking out and acting afraid while being attacked, but for the majority of the film it feels like every young actor on screen took a swing of Nyquil before the cameras rolled. Even when these kids lives hang in the balance, they do not have enough character to generate interest in their plight. And there’s about half a dozen of them. And it;s a movie about Fuck Ghosts for fuck’s sake!

There are some pretty nightmarish moments. The initial scene where Jay is confronted by her newly acquired pussygeist, a late night kitchen vision, and a young man confronting his Oedipal fate in his bedroom, but otherwise a lot of the later horror set pieces come off as slapstick comedy more than anything genuinely frightening. “It” starts flinging Goodwill donations at our wet, bikini clad heroine, horny weeny men get thrown through the air by invisible entities, it all just comes of as a little goofy as the movie goes from one ending to another stretching itself out to feature length. I dunno, none of it really had much of an impact on me.

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I will commend the film’s lack of parental units. These kids are basically on their own. No one cares where they are, what they’re doing or with who, and I feel like there just might be something to be something to that. We see parents for split seconds as they sit at kitchen tables with their backs to the camera, or show up as naked spectral visions to scare the shit out of the youngins’, but there is remarkably little interaction between these kids and their parents. ALSO, I really liked how unglamorous the act of teenage sex was depicted. It looks downright boring, and always disappointing. At least if the actors are to be believed. Everyone always seems bored out of their minds both during and after the act. As if you give lobotomies with a stiff cock and wet hatchet wound. Teenage sex was never that dull where I came from, but then again, it wasn’t The Red Shoe Diaries either…I just like that the filmmakers made it look really uneventful and unfulfilling. And, shit, you might just get a skeet-skeet-skeet GHOOOST from that three minutes in Heaven.

Long story short, (too late) I completely respect It Follows for being utterly unique and trying out something totally different. Please, keep making movies this unusual and you’ll see me at the movie theater far more often. Still, I found It Follows to be completely unengaging and and forgettable. It starts off with an enormous amount of promise, but falls apart quickly after the film shows all it;s cards and never regains it’s hold on it’s own story. I’m happy for the praise it’s been getting and the notoriety it has garnered. I can only hope more folks will be willing to take chance on under the radar trash cinema.

Forgettable, but a damn good try. It sure did look really pretty.

ONE AND A HALF out of FIVE Dumpster Nuggets

Stay Trashy!

-The Primal Root

12
Oct
14

Lala: Devil Girl of the Month, October 2014

Happy October, Gang! The Primal Root here, excited beyond compare to introduce you all to our gorgeous, wicked and ravishing October Devil Girl of the Month, Lala. Before you feast your eyes on her phenomenal photo spread, let’s take a moment to get to know this femme fatale with a taste for all things horror.
The Primal Root: Lala, it’s an honor to feature you as our October Devil Girl of the Month! Tell us a little bit about yourself, what you’re up, what your interests are.
Lala: I’m really tickled pink to be picked for October’s Devil Girl, thank you muchly! A bit about myself… Well I’m 24 years of age, born ‘n bred in Milwaukee, WI. I have 2 years of nursing classes under my belt, but I plan on going back for criminal psychology next year.  I live with my boyfriend and his family, although we are scraping together our checks so we can rent an apartment of our own. To have our own space, a place we can truly call our home would be a beautiful thing. I work at my pop’s metal polishing and fabricating shop. Doing mostly grunt work, cleaning, inventory, etc..Interests. Dedicating entire days to nothing but lethargy and horror films, but that’s definitely a given. I’m a voracious reader and anything that is set before me I will devour. Visiting my gramama – she has been like a second mother to me and she is currently living her final days on Earth. Spending time with my boyfriend’s daughter. She’s damn near 2 years old and has a big and bright personality. I take pleasure in the little things. An afternoon with my family or even sharing a comfortable silence with my fella.
 TPR: With Halloween fast approaching, I was wondering if you’d care to share your favorite Trashy flicks that get you in the mood?

Lala: Trashyflicks that get me in the mood aye? The People Under the Stairs. Red Dragon. Excision. Mum & Dad. Natural Born Killers. I Spit on Your Grave. Suspiria. Blind Beast. The Woman. Trick ‘R Treat.

TPR: Excellent selections, my dear! Got a costume in mind for this year’s Samhain?

Lala: For this year’s Samhain, I was spit balling with a few different costume ideas. Perhaps Akasha from Queen of the Damned or Coraline. Maybe Cruella DeVille. Cleopatra mayhaps! I’m quite scatterbrained on the subject. Ha
TPR: Oh WOW! Chomping at the bit to see you do those costumes justice. What song should the viewing audience at home listen to while admiring your Devil Girl shots?
Lala: Hmmmm, I think the song Number One Crush by Garbage would be a swell song to listen to when viewing my Devil Girl shots
 TPR: Sexy AND creepy! Couldn;t have picked a better song, myself! Gotta ask, which cinematic boogieman do you hope you’ll run into this Halloween?
Lala: Without a doubt, I would love nothing more than to run into Leatherface on Devil’s Night. That would be a Devil Girl’s wet dream.
 TPR: You heard her, Leatherface. Get that chainsaw reved up my friend and keep your eyes peeled this Halloween for One Ms. Lala Devil Girl! Alright, Lala, send us off with a favorite Trashy movie quote. Lala: Here’s my trashy quote, the final thought, “Come and get it, you undead sack of shit.” Bubba Ho-Tep
 Well, you heard The Devil Girl, come and get it! Enjoy Lala’s sinful, seductive, bewitching October Devil Girl of the Month spread! Hope you have one very sick and twisted October, Gang and a Trashy Halloween!
Stay Trashy!
-Root
Photos by Lala
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10
Mar
14

Funland (1987) Dancing with the Angel of Death

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a Primal Root written review

As a lifelong Floridian, with The Magic Kingdom and Universal Studios close by,  you grow up having a special kind of understanding of the amusement park business.  I’m sure to those who travel hundreds or thousands of miles and spend entire fortunes to come visit our state’s economic clit ticklers still feel the magic when walking down main street while wearing your short Dad shorts and fanny pack  in the skull liquifying summer heat or  watching film legend Brendan Frasier mug for the camera as they are thrown around on the indoor roller coaster based on the contemporary cinematic classic, “The Mummy Returns”, but for those of us in Florida who take a stroll through these parks on an almost annual basis, we can tell you there’s some shady shit going on just beneath the fairy tale surface…

This just might be why 1987’s bizarre, skit heavy, amusement park centered comedy/psychological drama “Funland” holds a special place in my rotten, filthy, heart.  “Funland” is one very strange, very off kilter film filled with a dozen or so ideas of which only about a half of them ever take root and really make an impression.

Funland is preparing for another season of family friendly fun and attractions, with hundreds of new recruits just chomping at the bit to press the “START” button on the park’s rides,  clean brat puke off the sidewalks or sell concessions at the ridiculously racist “Fresh Watermelon” stand! Most excited of all is Bruce Burger (David L. Lander, Squiggy from Lavern and Shirley), the clown mascot of “Funland” who was once the head accountant before suffering a complete mental breakdown that left him believing he is the actual incarnation of the parks clown mascot, Bruce Burger. See, the park’s owner, Angus (William Windom) believes in loyalty over profits, and keeps this mentally unstable man on board as Bruce Burger.  It’s a sweet, home spun gesture, but Angus soon meets his end the way most decent men do,  found dead face down in a body of water under mysterious circumstances.  his wife soon after sells the entire business to the mob who are only concerned about the bottom line an begin filling the park with less family friendly attractions like the Celebrity Death and Disease exhibit and dismantling the musical showcase in order to replace it with strippers.. In all honesty, I might actually go to an amusment park with these kind of attractions.

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The mob also decides to fire Bruce Burger and brings in the “National” Bruce Burger whose played by a  classically trained actor who constantly complains about his job and reminisces about his thespian history ad nauseam.  Bruce takes refuge in the recently closed down wax museum and finds solace in long conversations with a hallucination of Humphrey Bogart  (Robert Sacchi, who pulls off an excellent impression of bogie) and a sausage puppet. Bruce continues living at the park and dressing the part, but his hallucinations and psychosis continue to grow worse, culminating in a strange moment in the Funland cafeteria when the gentleman behind the lunch counter begin rapping, The Angel of Death appears briefly, never to be seen again, and the entire crowd drops what they’re doing and start moving and a groovin’. Once this hallucinatory episode comes an end  the ghost of Angus shows up to grab a bite to eat with Bruce and to divulge the horrible truth, he was murdered. So, it is decided over a game of poker between Bruce and his three most prominent hallucinations  to take action. Bruce steals a mafioso’s gun, heads to the top of the theme parks clock tower and opens fire over the strenuous objections of the talking sausage puppet.

“Funland” is among the most bizarre Trash Cinema videos I’ve ever watched.  David L. Lander as Bruce Burger does a damn fine job portraying the gradual mental collapse of Bruce Burger, a man already teetering ont he edge of total insanity. to the film’s credit, Bruce’s steady decline is hardly ever played for laughs. If the awkward, out of place gags featured in “Funland” were edited out you’d have a far darker film on your hands. but, in a way, all the attempts at levity give the movie an even more disturbing quality. One stand out sequence features the aforementioned “Fresh Watermelon” stand where a white junior manager is giving instructions to the four black men who will be working the stand.  The junior manager asks “Is anyone good with knives” and all the black men back away in fear. Can someone tell me just what the Hell this means? What are these guys afraid of? Was there a scene missing where the junior manager stabs a man to death?

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When it’s all said and done, “Funland” is far from a  perfect film, but it is the kind of film that you want to watch to the bitter end simply because it’s so unpredictable, so looney and has so many goddamn plot elements you’ll be dying to see how it all gels together. Seldom do you come across a film that manages to undercut it’s amateur execution and redeem it by way of own it’s twisted, surreal  logic.  It’s constantly quirky and strange making all the logical sense of a fever dream.  To my own amazement, this works in the films favor and makes for an enjoyable, head scratcher of a flick.  For fans of unique, one of a kind, absolutely bonkers trash cinema, “Funland” is one you should really check out.

I give “Funland” Four and a Half out of Five Dumpster Nuggets

Stay Trashy!

-Root




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