Posts Tagged ‘boobs

31
Oct
17

(NSFW) Bootsie Kidd: Halloween Devil Girl 2017

Hello Gang, and HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Better known around this neck of the woods as TRASHYWEEN! A day in which we celebrate all manner of devious, lustful and mischievous activities! And it just so happens, our Halloween Devil Girl of the month, is keeping that spirit very much alive, not only today, but year round in honor and in league with all of us grotesque, gnarly, perverse Trash Cinema Collective members. And I ought to know, because this Hellishly sexy, demonically gorgeous and sinfully sensuous Hell spawn is, in fact, The Queen of The Trash Cinema Collective, the muse of The Primal Root, the lovely, talented, badass Ms. Bootsie Kidd! Now, before you go popping your popcorn lusting over her mouth watering treats she’s so graciously put together for you, ladies and gents, let us take a moment to get to know our Halloween Devil Girl of the Month 2017, Bootsie Kidd, just a bit more intimately

 

Root: Oh, Ms. Bootsie Kidd! Happy Trashyween to you! I am absolutely enamored with your devious, playfully sinful Trashyween Devil Girl spread I’ve got to say, you strike a very lovely figure in bright red. Now is this an homage to anything specific? Because this incredibly sexy visage you’ve brought to life looks strikingly familiar…

Bootsie: Why thank you, Primal Root! You’re quite the handsome devil, yourself… But now that you mention it, yes! This character is drawn from none other than the new & improved Trash Cinema Collective Devil Girl emblem!! I’m so incredibly proud to flesh out the artwork of Crimson S. Ramsey (Tallahassee local legend, creative genius, and supreme goddess) who also created the artwork for Trash Cinema’s HQ Cap City Video Lounge’s emblem; that big, hulking, beefcake of a gorilla climbing Florida’s Capital with yours truly!

Root: Also, holy smokes, where is our Devil Girl hanging out, checking out ‘Nude for Satan’ and getting her racy ideas from? It certainly looks like a lively and colorful locale…

Bootsie: Better believe it, buster! The location is Cap City Video Lounge, cult movie rental store and independent theatre!! With CCVL coming up on its one year anniversary as the only video rental store anywhere near Florida’s capital, we thought we’d spice it up with a hot-as-hell tribute with its very own Devil Girl in the flesh!

Root: What prompted you to bring The Trash Cinema Collective Devil Girl to such lovingly rendered, vivid life for us this Trashyween? What is the story behind the spread?

Bootsie: I have a love for and connection with The Trash Cinema Collective that goes beyond the usual. Trash has always been a love of mine, but ever since my first Trash Cinema Night at Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack (every first Saturday of the month!) in November 2011, I’ve been a part of this family, and, given its full-throttle evolution in 2017, this felt like the perfect moment to bring her to life to spread the good gospel of Trash Cinema to Tally and far beyond! We bring life, color, imagination, blood, breasts, and beasts to a world that, frankly, is in obvious desperate need of it!

Root: As I am SURE you are more than well aware, TODAY is Trashyween! What are some of your absolute favorite Halloween movies that you just cannot not watch as you carve jack-o-lanterns and roll around in pagan orgies before a wild, autumn blaze on a cold Autumn’s eve?

Bootsie: Oh, honey! Well, frankly, Cap City Video Lounge is showing some of my absolute favorites tonight; WNUF Special (trust me, this thing is a deliciously bizarre, utterly unique tribute to 80s cable T.V.), Halloween, Halloween III, and Trick R Treat (for the best werewolf scene of. all. time.) Other than those bad boys, Exorcist III is my all-time favorite horror, Prince of Darkness is my favorite John Carpenter, Ernest
Scared Stupid is my favorite horror comedy, and Near Dark is my favorite country-fried vampiric cinema which I’m going to have to INSIST you do a Devil Guy spread of Severen as soon as is inhumanly possibly, Mr. Root!

By the way, all of these can be rented via Cap City Video Lounge. Jus sayin.

Root: Now, a question about the red skin color, is that makeup or was that lovely shade added later in post? Like I said earlier, it looks amazing on you.

Bootsie: Let me tell you something, mister. My makeup is to die for thanks only to the endless talents of Kayla King of Rewski Photography. That woman worked her voodoo and made magic happen with this utterly spectacular color and composition you see before you, and she does the same with every project she takes on. On top of that, I had the time of my life!! Kayla was patient, easy to work with, enthusiastic, kind, helpful, creative, wildly experienced, and a professional to the core bent on making the shoot everything I wanted it to be. You want a photo shoot done better than you could’ve imagined it? You want Rewski Photography, baby.

Root: Any big plans for your Trashyween evening tonight, Bootsie? What’s happening down in the bowels of Hell?

Bootsie: Darlin’, there’s only one place in the world I’d want to be for Halloween tomorrow night; behind the bar at Cap City Video Lounge in all my Devil Girl glory!!! We’re showing some of the best horror has to offer with the WNUF Halloween Special, Halloween, Halloween III, and Trick R Treat! On top of that, IT’S BYOB, BABY!!! Only $5 at the door, special Halloween drinks brewed and candied popcorn crafted by yours truly will be available! Whether you wanna cut a rug, talk cinema, or chill and get chilled with a killer movie in our Phantomas theatre or to rent and take home while you greet trick-or-treaters, Cap City Video Lounge is perfect for getting you into the Halloween spirit!

Root: Any words of wisdom for our Trash Cinema Collective Members out there and any possible upcoming, possible Devil Girls?

Bootsie: Honey, do it! Whatever creative flair you want to bring to the table, we would love to have you! You control it all, and we’ll be there to help in any way we can to make it one of the best creative experiences of your life! All genders welcome!! (must be 18 years or older)

Root: What song would you like your admirers to listen to while feasting their eyes on your tasty treat of a Devil Girl spread?

Bootsie: I would say either Man or Astro-Man’s ‘Defcon 5’, Queens of the Stone Age ‘The Way You Used To Do’, AC/DC’s ‘If You Want Blood’, Puscifer’s ‘Rev 22:20’, and Jace Evertt’s ‘Do Bad Thing’s With You’. What can I say, I’m a Devil Girl who likes the spice of variety!

Photography by Rewski Photography

https://rewskiphotography.smugmug.com/

 

06
Sep
17

(NSFW) Little China Brawl: September Devil Girl of the Month

Hello there, Gang, The Primal Root here and I am chomping at the bit to introduce to you our September Devil Girl of the Month, Little China Brawl! Back with another bloody, beautiful and badass spread this time inspired by the 2002 Lucky McGee horror film, May. 

The Primal Root: Little China Brawl, first off, let me just say it is an absolute pleasure and quite the honor to have you back as a Trash Cinema Collective Devil Girl of the Month. May has always been one of this movies I’ve deeply adored and I am so damn happy you were the individual to bring this disturbing scenario to life. Can you tell us you thoughts on Lucky McKee’s 2002 horror flick and what drew you to the subject?

Little China Brawl: I remember sneaking this movie when I was young and watching it and thinking how different and kind of painful it was to watch and it kind of stuck with me.

Root: With October fast approaching, and May being such an exceptionally unique Halloween film, could you name some flicks you like to put on this time of year as a kind of primer for Halloween?

Brawl: Halloween always makes me think of Hocus Pocus and Trick R Treat

Root: I am witnessing a whole lot of yarn in this photo spread. 😀 What made you decide to go this route and is all of that yarn your personal stash?

Brawl: May lives to sew and I live to knit. The knitting we used is all stuff I’ve made in the last year. I have an entire dresser and closet full of yarn. My goal is to reach SABLE levels (Stash Acquisition Beyond Life Expectancy).

Root: Little China Brawl, tell us a little bit more about yourself and what you’ve been up to since we last saw you being attacked by Freddy Krueger?

Brawl: Mostly knitting with beautiful speckled colors and vending locally and at conventions. Also, being arrested.

Root: Digging your tattoos, Little China Brawl, tell us, do you have any favorites or are they like your babies where you love them all individually? Also, do you have plans for any new ink in the not to distant future?

Brawl: My favorites kind of depends on my mood, but probably my absolute favorite is the baobob trees from the Little Prince (my favorite book) on my arm/elbow. I really want to get an elephant tattoo based on my favorite joke by a local comedian.

Root: As has become tradition, do you have any words of wisdom for The Trash Cinema Collective members viewing your Devil Girl spread?

Brawl:If this is something you are drawn to, please give it a try. These are a lot of fun to do. Shooting with Exotic Zombie always involves a large amount of giggling and silliness.

Root: Finally, what song would you like our viewers to have ringing in their ears as the feast their eyes upon your spread?

Brawl: Shivers by Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s

 

30
Jul
17

(NSFW) Malabimba: The Malicious Whore (1979) The Spirit Wants Inside You…DEEP Inside You.

 

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“You have to look. You have to.” – Malabimba, Malabimba, The Malicious Whore (1979)

a Primal Root written review

You know, some movies you have to wait for them to really warm up and get moving. You’re introduced to characters, you learn who they are, their motives and the roles they play in the narrative, then around the twenty minute mark we get to the inciting incident that sets the thrust of the plot in motion and we continue going through the motions from there. You know what I;m saying? Snooze-A-Rama. Malabimba, the 1979 Italian genre blender flick of supernatural horror and pornography does not suffer from any such issue. No, it hits the ground running and does not let up till the final goddamn frame. Whoever coined the term, “All killer, no filler” might have been talking about Malabimba: The Malicious Whore, because holy fuck is thing a full throttle psycho sexual taboo bending fuck fest like few I’ve ever had the pleasure to endure zipper burn watching, hot diggity dog!

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Young, shy, nubile teenager Malabimba’s (Katell Laennec) mother, and matriarch of a once influential and prosperous (they live in a goddamn CASTLE!) Caroli family, has just recently passed away due to a slight case of MURDER under mysterious circumstances.  The film opens on a seance where the family is attempting to contact her spirit for reasons that are not made clear.   Unfortunately for them, but fortunately for the viewing audience, their medium starts flipping the fuck out before becoming possessed by the perverted, malicious, absolutely vicious spirit of the decadent late cousin Lucrezia who immediately begins berating, insulting and sexually assaulting the family. Pop’s  (Andrea played by Enzo Fisichella) has his pants yanked open and his party favor yanked upon before Bimba’s Aunt/Andrea’s voluptuous sister-in-law, Nais (Patrizia Webley) gets her dress torn off exposing her for the entire family to admire then begins making the medium writhe all over the floor in orgasmic screams of horrified ecstacy. As the family carries on with the half nekkid ghostly shenanigans downstairs,  the spirit soon flees to other area of the house, first dropping in on the House Nun/Nurse Sofia (Mariangela Giordano, Peter Bark’s mother in Burial Ground), and gets her masturbating a bit before being forced out of Sofia via Sofia’s strong faith in the big boss man in the sky. NOT TO WORRY!  Quickly after this rejection, the ghost of Lucrezia lays her eyes upon Malabima…who makes the perfect vessel for her rude, perverse, sexually charge atrocities to be acted out upon her family…

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It’s the perfect goddamn set up and Malabimba has it ALL. Incest, profanity, teen sexuality, Nunspolitation, hypocrisy, softcore pornography laced with heavy duty penetration inserts, demonic spirit possession, cock grabbing,  pussy munching, unholy seduction, good vs. evil conflict, murder by oral sex, just to name a few. This is what Malabimba has to offer in a none stop sleazefest that must be seen and experienced to believe. It’s the kind of film that will leave your mind blown out of the back of your head and splattered against the back of your LA-Z-BOY. This is not a sweet, kind, romp in the sheets, no, there is no safety net in any of the unholy love pumping on display in Malabimba, this is a film which boldly charts a moral destroying course to create a filthy, disturbing, highly atmospheric, creepy and erotically charged nightmare unlike any you’ll ever see again.

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Directed by the highly underrated and often overlooked purveyor of many fine Italian Trash Cinema classics as 1981’s Burial Ground, 1976’s Strip Nude For Your Killer and 1972’s What the Peeper Saw, filmmaker Andrea Bianchi has crafted a powerfully nasty, sacrilegious, taboo busting masterpiece in a career built upon such giddy sleaze and exploitation.  Seriously, less than ten minutes in Malabimba’s run time and you already have a 90 minute film worth of drippy, sexual naughtiness. And I am not overstating the facts, it IS this loaded with skin and horror. It feels as if the film is always trying to top itself scene for scene by upping the horror and sex ante, and for this lover of fine filth, it is something I truly admire. This film is all you could ever want and I loved every second of it.

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Honestly, the horror elements are somewhat fleeting as they are generally used as a means to an end leading to sexual encounters which range from disturbing and awkward to down right erotic, sensual and titillating . What really impresses is the fact that the story, as it is, and the characters are not just defined by their salacious nocturnal activities I found myself wondering through the entire film just what will become of the young Malabima and the target of her evil seductive prowess, Sister Sofia, will she stay on the righteous path or end up pulled down to the bowels of Hell by giving in to the cruel sex kitten? Malabimba: The Malicious Whore is sexploitation cinema at it’s down and dirty trashiest, which is it’s grandest form, if you ask me. If you think you might like your sexploitation tasteless and over the edge, and you are not offended by the sight of penises entering vaginas and/or mouths, I highly recommend Malibaba: The Malicious Whore. But you don’t have to take my word for it!

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I PROUDLY award this Grade A slice of filth FIVE out of FIVE Dumpster Nuggets!

Do not miss this suckers! By the way, this puppy is available to rent on DVD at Cap City Video Lounge in Tallahassee, Florida. 😉

Stay Trashy!

-Root

29
Jun
17

(NSFW) Firecracker aka: Naked Fist (1981) Explosion of Brutality

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What are firecrackers, exactly? Small packaged explosives, we light the wick, run for our very lives and they explode into brilliant colors sending sparks raining down on a crowd of eye popping onlookers. But that’s it. A booming loud, colorful flash int he pan you won;t remember five minutes after you see it. IF this is the case, the 1981 martial arts meets mafia extravaganza, Firecracker, doesn’t just have a clever name.

Firecracker is, for all intent and purposes, a retread of TNT Jackson, but with the additions of much more bloodshed, a bit more nudity and a white girl in the lead. Firecracker tells the story of a young female martial arts instructor, Susanne Carter (played by a very game a frequently nekkid Jillian Kesner) , who rushes off to the Philippines to track down the person who murdered her little sister and exact bloody, merciless revenge! What she stumbles across is a martial arts nightclub where people place bets on fights to the death while you enjoy five star Philippine cuisine. It is soon revealed that, of course, this business is a smoke screen for something far more insidious than murder… DRUG TRAFFICKING! Susan sets course for vengeance and begins to get close to the inner circle of folks running the operation, and even ends up falling madly in love with the sadistic top fighter and sadistic murderer in the process.

Let me tell you, to be honest, Firecracker is basically a bunch of chitchat between fun and weird fight scenes. If this movie could bottle the energy from the fight sequences and spread it throughout the film, it could have been a far more memorable flick. As it stands, the film is missing a certain form of spark that really make it a memorable piece of Trash Cinema. However, that spark CAN be found in abundance during a handful of truly outrageous, brutal, messy, freakish fight sequences sprinkled throughout the movie as if to make up for all the standing around in front of gorgeous scenery and talking about lame exposition sequences.

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I’m talking about one scene in particular that could be edited together as a short film unto itself. It;s tonal shifts from absurdist comedy, slapstick, slasher gore fest, brutal crime drama and sexploitation picture is so bonkers and changes on a dime, it had my head spinning about twenty seconds in. Susanne is getting chased down the back alleys of the Philippines by two wannabe rapists brandishing switchblades and filthy hardons of violence and shame. Susanne run to avoid conflict onto a construction site guarded by a goofy looking armed guard, Susanne run right past him and leads the two rapists right into friendly, funny looking, minding his own business guards path. I was expecting them to maybe push him, he’d slip on a banana peel, land on a shovel and a bucket of paint would fall on his head. No, these mother fuckers shove him onto a PICK AXE! The pick axe stabs him in the back. and one of the rapists then steps on the guys slowly making the pick axe rip through his back and out of his chest. It’s so callous, bloody and shockingly mean spirited I was literally shaken. I mean, yes, these guys are rapists in waiting, but man, that’s some super cold and nasty shit to do to this guy.

So, we now know without a doubt that these scum bags as vicious and cruel beyond compare and we are now deeply concerned for our young martial arts instructors safety. We then recall that Susanne can hold her own in a fight, which makes it all the more strange that she didn’t lift a finger to try and defend the goofy security guard who was just slowly murdered while she stood and watched… It isn;t long after she witnesses this savagery that Susanne decides to fight back! And as she does so, the killer rapists come at her with scythes and knives, ripping articles of clothing off as they go. Now, is this now supposed to be titillating? Because, you know, the way it is shot, they certainly arent afraid to show close ups of her goods as she reacts in startled, somewhat goofy expressions, but I am still terrified of what these guys are going to do. There;s a very strange duality in this scene between wanting to be sadistic and mean while also being sexy and funny. By the time one of the rapist’s head has been split open by a buzzsaw and Susanne is doing nekkid flying jump kicks through the air, I had my head between my hands as my filthy mind experienced some form of existential crisis. This scene literally haunted me for weeks…

The scene is soon followed by one of the greatest action exploitation CONSENSUAL sex scenes I’ve ever witnessed. Susanne and her prize fighter fuck buddy find themselves alone in his bedroom. He tosses her onto the bed and pulls out a knife and begins slowly, seductively slicing her clothes off. Her blouse, her bra and so fort, until she is stark nekkid. Then it’s her boy toy’s turn as she starts slicing his trousers REAL close to his wangdoodle all while whispering arousing bon mots like, “”I can feel the blood pulsing inside your head.” Woah, baby, this is one weird boner I’ve got standing up here.

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These two scenes and a brawl to the death at the end of the film featuring a pleasant up close and personal eye gouging outing are the wonderful reasons I would recommend Firecracker. It’s not a terrible Trash Cinema flick, but it is a tad bit on the dull side for a considerable amount of it’s run time, with moments of campy fun popping up occasionally.

I’m rating this puppy THREE out of FIVE Dumpster Nuggets.

Stay Trashy!

-Root

 

29
May
17

Never Too Young To Die (1986) From Stargrove With Love

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a Primal Root written Review

If I had a dime for every franchise started that claimed to be “The Next James Bond.” It seems to be a height countless studios have tried to reach since Bond proved so ceaselessly profitable. Classy, violent, misogynistic, and featuring gadgets, over the top improbably action and dynamite opening credit sequences that often times are the highlight of these action and espionage drenched goofball male fantasy spank fests. Bond proved to be a franchise that could carry on indefinitely, changing creative hands, trading out talent, and even continuities and never to the detriment of the fans. Except those who hate Daniel Craig for whatever reason.

The fact is, I’ve never been a huge James Bond fan, but I know the tropes pretty damn well, and every time a wannabe comes along it’s apparent and, in it’s own way, no matter hopeful or interesting it might be, a little pitiful. Why? Because it always feels like these films are trying to “One Up” James Bond. And with a franchise this long standing, there’s hardly a chance. You should probably have some respect for the franchise that inspired your lame wannabe flick. The franchise inspired such unabashed ripoffs as Secret Agent Super Dragon, Operation Kid Brother (starring NEIL Connery), A Man Called Dagger and more recently modern crap that tries to update the formula like XXX starring Vin Diesel, where our new Bond character is an EXTREME Mountain Dew ad of a special agent, and that goofy Kingsman: The Secret Service, where a young parkore kid gets fitted in a nice suite and fucks a princess in the ass. How far we have come, huh? Or should I say, “cum”? Bus, I digress…

Because there IS one James Bond ripoff that I have an immense appreciation for. One that gives it’s nods to the franchise that obviously inspired it, but also blazes it’s own trashy, wonderfully weird and awkward path towards cinematic action glory. It’s Gil Bettman’s 1986 Daddy Issues, terrorist thwarting, action and espionage classic, Never Too Young to Die!

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John Stamos (TV’s Full House) IS Lance Stargrove! A young man attending a prestigious academic academy and happens to be an accomplished gymnast and a straight A student, thanks to his Asian buddy, Cliff (Peter Kwong) who helps him cheat via wristwatch. Lance is also a gloomy gus because his Mom died years ago and he never sees his Father, Drew Stargrove (George Lazenby of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, SEE! That’s respect! Putting an ACTUAL actor who played James Bond in your goofy James Bond wannabe flick!) When Lance’s Pop’s doesn’t show up the Parent’s Day to watch him hang from some rings, he takes it to heart. Old Dad dropped the ball and let him down again. Little does Lance know, his Dad is a hard nosed, wisecracking, badass secret agent who is missing Parent’s Day trying to thwart a terrorist plot to poison California’s entire water supply with toxic waste.  This is the horrifying plan dreamed up by evil hermaphroditic terrorist, sociopath, snazzy dresser, murderer,  night club performer and general madman, Velvet Von Ragner (played by show stealing Gene Simmons from the legendary rock bad KISS). When Lance’s Father is double crossed and puts up a  valiant struggle against Ragner and his goons (who dress in Road Warrior sheik at ALL times which doesn’t help them blend in at all)  in vein, Lance feels somehow feels it in the middle of his gymnastic routine and drops to the floor like a sack of shit.

At his Father’s wake, the official explanation is “car accident”, but lance isn;t buying it. Especially after he lays eyes on the sexy, sultry, mourning, Ms. Danja Deering (Vanity, RIP, of Action Jackson and The Last Dragon Fame) who manages to look good in head to toe black in the sweltering California heat.  Lance tracks her down at his recently inherited farm just in time to watch Danja stomp a warrior of the wasteland’s face into some horse shit before the place gets set on fire, igniting a box labeled “grenades” and blowing the whole damn place sky high. After this harrowing encounter, Lance begins whining and and accuses Danja of banging his Dad as she gets disrobed in the kitchen and grabs a gun from above the oven as an alarm goes off warning of intruders. It happens to be Caruthers, a ginger bearded member of the same nameless agency Danja and the late Drew Stargrove worked for, at least as far I can tell. They have their first of many conversations that repeatedly emphasis that Ragner IS A HERMAPHRODITE, and is almost certainly the person responsible for Drew Stargrove’s brutal murder.

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Danja heads to an avant-garde biker bar called The Incinerator where Ragner, a known terrorist threat and certainly on The FBI’s Top Ten Most Wanted List,  is performing her strange spoken word rock and roll stage show. Of course, Lance tags along, requests a lube job from a transgendered waitress. Danja tells this idiot to go home, to which he replies, “I don;t have a home!” I suppose the excitement of the day made poor Lance forget about not only his dorm room, but the enormous farm he just inherited. Ragner takes the stage and speaks a diddy about be a hermaphrodite which includes the immortal line “It takes a man like me to be a woman like me!” as Danja reveals to Lance that Ragner is the person who killed his Father. Lance responds by accusing her of fucking his Father again and Danja storms away from the privileged little shrivel dick.

Lance follows Danja into the desert and they are both viciously attacked by mutant road warriors and kidnapped. Lance wakes up at home, which is oddly enough where the goons brought him, and they begin to beat him savagely as they demand to know where a disc containing the map of the Los Angeles sewer system is.  After smacking face around the kitchen sink, feeding him a cherry tomato (seriously) and throwing him through  half a dozen book cases, Lance fondles his Father’s family jewels and he feels a stirring! He stops cry and uses all his gymnast powers to flip around the den and throw these greases caked fuck faces out the upstairs window before grabbing a shot bun and blasting it into the air at random while screaming, “I’M STARGROVE! I’M STARGROVE!” Cliff soon arrives, having stashed the super secret disc in his new motorcycle. The two discover where Danja is being held captive, head over, and begin callously, mercilessly , killing people left and right. Sure, they’re all bad guys, but Lance and Cliff show up and just start blowing people to pieces and neither one seems all that affected by the death they are dishing out. Have these two gone on murder sprees in the past? Because for two college boys who have not been established as expert gun wielders or people killers, they sure are efficient and emotionless about it. Lance even shoots several folks who are running away from him. Out hero, ladies and gents!

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As our heroes rescue Danja, we are treated to a scene of Ragner, at his secret headquarters,  slicing the throat of his henchman with her extra long middle finger nail for not retrieving the sewer disc.  Ragner’s top scientist, played by Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street’s Freddy Krueger) show Ragner the specs for redirected toxic waste into California’s water supply. Looking at the computer screen Ragner remarks on what a beautiful shade of purple the merging of drinking water and toxic waste makes, only thing is, THERE IS NO SHADE OF PURPLE WHATSOEVER ON THE MONITOR! That Ragner, he truly IS a madman…

Meanwhile, Carruthers comes up with a plan to flush Ragner out of hiding, by putting Lanca and Danja is a little cabin together and spying on it to see if Ragner will attack. This plan, of course, leads to one of the highlights of the film. See, Danja REALLY want to pork Lance for saving her bacon (HA!), but Lance is all shy and hesitant and doesn’t feel it’s right. So she strips down to a bikini and begins pouring oil all over herself, her tits, her thighs, all while Lance tries to resist by drinking Perrier and eating apples. What really does it, is when Danja finally whips here chesticles out and begins doing a dance of seduction with a filthy water hose. Lance tosses his apple asides, picks her up, takes to bed and begins plowing her soy bean field. It is truly one of the most erotic and sensual scenes in all of Trash Cinema and it must be seen to be believed. The score, the performances, the editing all perfectly capture what it is to seduce a Stargrove.

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Before long, the double crosser within the nameless agency is shockingly revealed as Lance and Danja are captured and taken to Ragner’s secret lair which leads to an action packed finale on top of a water dam as Lance Stargrove and Velvet Von Ragner must now battle face to face in a brutal, knock down , drag out, boob biting, bloody battle where one man or one hermaphrodite must perish, and countless lives hang in the balance. It;s breathtaking and truly one of the finest action film finales I’ve ever witnessed. Seriously, it doesn’t get more bizarre, trashy, or unbelievable than this.

It’s difficult to discern whether Never Too Young To Die is trying to be serious, if it’s a parody of the spy genre, or if it’s trying to be a balance of both, because it is hysterical from start to finish. I get the feeling that the creative minds behind this thing really were trying to pay it straight and create a new franchise. But, what the ended up with was a highly entertaining and wholly unintentionally hysterical bit of Trash Cinema Gold. And, as is so often the case, the more unintentionally funny these films are, the better they play. And this is why Never Too Young to Die is a hidden gem of action trash cinema that must be seen to be believed. Unlike most James Bond Cash-ins, Never Too Young to Die works because it doesn’t really work at all. You can see what they were going for, but they miss the mark by such a wide margin, they just about create a different genre altogether. And if you ask me, that’s a remarkable thing.

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Honestly,  the film’s MVP is Gene Simmons he gives a truly phenomenal, over the top, hysterical performance as he ads life and genuine menace to a larger than life villain who I would LOVE to have seen more of in further adventures of Lance Stargrove. Every time Gene Simmons is one screen, his performance is so goddamn balls to wall joyously psychotic, you cannot help but laugh and enjoy every moment of his batshit time on screen. I really wish I could have seen the man in more rolls like this, because he steals the whole damn film.

Never Too Young to Die is as goofy, strange and wonderful as they come. A true tour de force of absolute trash cinema. Chock full of violence, ridiculous action, and a damn fine amount of nekkid breasts, I award Never Too Young to Die FIVE out of FIVE Dumpster Nuggets! DO NOT MISS!

Stay Trashy!

-Root

08
Nov
16

(NSFW) Vicious Violet: November Devil Girl of the Month 2016

Hello there, Gang, it’s your friend The Primal Root here. Well, today’s election day 2016, time to cast our ballots and see what scumdog will be our next commander and chief. Well, whoever you choose, thankfully, you can take solace in the absolutely stunning, inspired and unfathomably kickass spread from The Trash Cinema Collective’s Devil Girl of the Month, the gorgeous Vicious Violet! She has created a colorful and expertly timed spread for you to feast your eyes upon this election day, Gang. As the numbers are tallied up, and desperation sinks in, remember…THEY LIVE!

The Primal Root: Incredible concept and spread, Violet! What made you think to use John Carpenter’s They Live as your subject for this incredibly sexy and colorful spread? Wouldn’t have anything to do with the upcoming election, would it?

Vicious Violet: Oh, but of course it does! I’m already a John Carpenter fan, and in my own tradition, I watch Halloween movies every day of October. So, in 2014 I watched The Thing, Halloween, and Escape from New York before stumbling across They Live, and I was hooked!! I love Twilight Zone, and felt that this particular movie was a long TZ episode; so terrible, it was glorious. Plus, the message kills me! I decided then that for my next birthday/Halloween costume would be one of these disgusting aliens attending a masquerade ball. And then being invited to be November’s Devil Girl, on the cusp of a tumultuous election year, I just knew They would have to come back for seconds to control everyone to make the right vote! Keep the Alien Overlords in Power! They Live! You Sleep! Obey!

Root: Do you feel like They Live is still relevant in 2016?

Vicious: Oh yes! It’s so creepy how relevant it is to this day. Even more so with the advances in social media–we are all subliminally trained to post updates, consume the “right” products, and compare our lives to everyone else in this little handheld computer that controls us all. I was already shocked to really think about how much media surrounds our daily lives, and all of the product placements geared to get our money. “This is your God” might as well be our currency as I see our world devolve more and more into the importance of money each individual makes, and how unfair the system truly has become. I could go on for hours about how many theories this movie has spurned in my own life and makes me wonder if They really are Living while We Sleep.

Root: I gotta ask, where did you find such a phenomenal They Live alien mask?

Vicious: Well, I am very proud to say this is a one-of-a-kind mask that I made myself. It took two months, two masks, one ping-pong ball, lots of clay, paper mache, and love. After deciding to make this my 30th birthday/Halloween costume, I started early by gathering tutorials and reference photos, looking at the few They Live cosplayers’ how-to videos out there, and took my time constructing it. I’d say this art kid did a pretty good job!

Root: How was it having your entire body covered in paint? How was it to be transformed into a spirit crushing, soul sucking alien from They Live?

Vicious: It was absolutely delightful!! Having a birthday just before Halloween, and being the weird art kid that I am, I’m no stranger to costuming and cosplay, but I must say, this one was the most intensive I’ve gone for a transformation. I couldn’t have been more comfortable in my paint, but still giggle remembering the attention to detail I received through this process. (“Think they’ll see…?” “Yeah, just go ahead and paint it.” “Okay, so, lean forward and spread ‘em…” Completely normal, yes? And what a gentleman you are, too! )

I had paint from my ears to my toenails, and am still finding blue paint in the strangest of places…but I’d do it all over again if I had the chance!

Root: What song should folks listen to while viewing your spread?

Vicious: I played Deftones Radio on Pandora the whole shoot, so I’ll suggest the same, specifically Deftones’ Knife Party, Diamond Eyes, and Passenger. Gets you into the drone-mindset with a little undertone of sexiness.

Root: Any advice to our fellow Trash Cinema Collective members as they head to the polls to cast their ballots?

Vicious: Obey. Consume. Marry and Reproduce. Honor Apathy. Vote. Stay Asleep.

Photography by Bootsie Kidd and The Primal Root

 

10
Aug
16

(NSFW) Little China Brawl: August Devil Girl of the Month (2016)

Hey Gang, The Primal Root here, and it is my privilege to introduce to you our August 2016 Devil Girl of the Month, Little China Brawl. She is gracing us with astounding, dark, wet, sexy set drenched in gore paying homage to the quintessential 1980’s slasher series all Trash Cinema Collective Members hold near and dear to their filthy little hearts, A Nightmare on Elm Street. Let’s get to know Freddy’s wet dream, Little China Brawl, before we delve deep into the naked Nightmare on Elm Street…

 

The Primal Root: Little China Brawl, let me start off by complimenting you on such an incredible Devil Girl spread. It’s absolutely astounding. Why did you choose A Nightmare on Elm Street as your Trashy Devil muse?

Little China Brawl: Thank you for letting me join and take part in this! I think there’s nothing scarier than not being able to escape from your nightmares and what scares you can also be incredibly exciting.

TPR: All that blood! How was it modeling for your nekkid Devil Girl spread under such gory conditions and whose blood was it you used?

LCB: It was ridiculously enjoyable. It was fun to be all squirmy and sticky. It was really hard NOT to laugh… which I did quite a lot. And for legal purposes, I cannot at this time disclose whose blood it used to be. It’s mine now.

TPR: If you could pick one quote from Freddy Krueger that has touched you the deepest and filled your heart with inspiration, what would it be?

LCB: “Every town has an Elm Street.” I think that kind of speaks volumes to the nature that is Freddy. Everyone gets afraid and at some point you have to face it.

TPR: Freddy vs. Jason. Who should have won and why?

LCB:Freddy, because you can’t escape and you can’t stay awake.

TPR: When you aren’t being stalked and slashed in your worst nightmares by one of cinemas most iconic villains, what do you do for fun? What are some of your hobbies and claims to fame?

LCB: I’m either knitting or karaoking or doing comedy or a hybrid of them at the same time. I love keeping my hands busy so I’m either holding knitting needles or a microphone and I love getting loud. I’ve been pretty successful with my knitting and I’ve done conventions locally as well as out of town and fully funded three Kickstarters.

TPR: Alright, Dream Warrior, what are some of your favorite Trashy movies?

LCB: Easily, hands down, Frankenhooker. It’s the reason I wanted to become a devil girl. Exotic Zombie is definitely my devil idol.

TPR: What song would best accompany your Devil Girl spread?

LCB: I Want You by Elvis Costello sung by Fiona Apple. I love her delivery and how shakey and creepy she makes this already aggressive song.

TPR: Last, but not least, do you have any words of wisdom to pass on to The Trash Cinema Collective before we check out your Devil Girl spread?

LCB: Do what you love, and if what you love to do is get weird and naked you’re with the right people. Get trashy. You’re in good company.

Photography by Kayla King of Rewski Photography

 




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