Posts Tagged ‘Bird’s

15
Nov
15

DIE HARD (1988) A Trash Cinema Collective Event and 4th Annual Black Elephant Gift Exchange!

die-hard-poster

“Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker!”

WHO: The Trash Cinema Collective
WHAT: A screening of the 1988 Christmas Action Classic, Die Hard! Followed by our Annual Trashmas Black Elephant Gift Exchange!
WHEN: Saturday December 5th at 8:00pm (EST)
WHERE: Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack
WHY: Because Trashmas only comes once and year and we want to spend this special night with all your wonderful, filthy members of The Trash Cinema Collective!

As Always, NO COVER!

Hey Gang, The Primal Root here, and it is that most magical, most festive, most repugnant time of the year once again, TRASHMAS SEASON! And what better way to celebrate than with The Trash Cinema Collective at Bird’s Aphrodisiac while watching the blood drenched, bullet riddled, Christmas action blockbuster, DIE HARD, as chosen by you, The Collective.

Die Hard (19880 tells the heart felt and deeply moving tale of Officer John McClane (Bruce Willis), a hard nosed yet very witty and often hilarious New York cop who is invited (on accident) to his recently estranged wife’s Christmas party at Nakatomi Plaza in California. Sure, this will be a great to patch things up with her and bring the family back together, but wouldn’t you know it? A team of elite badass terrorists ( led by a bearded Alan Rickman, ladies…) pick that exact same night to stage an attack, taking hostages and generally fucking up the whole holly jolly spirit of the boozy1988 holiday season. It is up to John McClane to save the Mother Fuckin’ day and remind us all of the true meaning of Christmas by using his McGuyver like resilience, excellent one liners and and fully loaded machine gun. Oh yes, this Trashmas, we’re gonna DIE HARD!

ALSO! If you are interested in participating in the 4th Annual Trashmas Black Elephant Gift Exchange, please bring a wrapped gift that costs you no more than $20 and place it under the Trashmas Tree! Once Die Hard concludes, we will begin the Black Elephant Gift Exchange. We will count the heads of everyone who brought a gift and draw numbers as to who will go up and pick the very first gift. Whoever goes second can either choose to unwrap a new gift from under the tree or steal the first person’s gift that they just unwrapped. The person who was stolen from can then choose to grab another gift from under the tree or steal someone else’s. THREE STEALS IS THE LIMIT, so steal wisely. Trust me, we will go into more detail at the actual event.

What kind of gift should you bring? Something Funny, Filthy, Weird or Trashy tends to be popular. An old Charles Manson T-shirt, Faces of Death VHS tapes and even a chair last year, proved to be very popular. So follow your trashiest instincts and bring something that will truly shock and awe the masses. Trust me, something cheap and everyday will not impress anyone. Also, booze is totally okay to bring as a Black Elephant Gift, too.

Cannot wait to celebrate another Trashmas full of debauchery and cheer with you filthy folks December 5th at Trash Cinema Nights at Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack! See you then!

Stay Trashy!
-Root

29
Jun
14

Trash Cinema Nights presents The Burning (1981)

burning

Who: The Trash Cinema Collective
What: a screening of  1981’s “The Burning”
When: Saturday, July 5th at 10:00pm
Where: Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack
Why: Because we love you.

as always…NO COVER!

MATURE CONTENT WARNING: Leave the fruits of your loins at home! Blood shed, full frontal female nudity, um…lots of female nudity and general slasher movie butchery goodness. With garden shears.

Hey Gang! As I am sure you’re well aware with the might of the current humidity situation and temperatures in the mid 90’s, it’s glorious summer time in Florida! What better way to celebrate this warm, moist, sweaty season than with a special Trash Cinema Night screening of one of the meanest, nastiest little summer camp slasher flicks of the 1980’s, 1981’s “The Burning?” Sure, it sounds like a PSA about genital herpes, but it’s one damn fine low budget horror show.

Gratuitous blood, breasts and one nasty disfigured psychopath who looks like his head is made up of a gnawed on wad of Big League Chew. I can think of no better way to continue celebrating our nation’s independence than by wallowing in the complete filth that is the 1980’s American slasher flick.

So come on out, sink your teeth into the best damn burger in Tallahassee, order up a pitcher of your favorite ice cold brew and let’s rot our brains together as we watch the likes of Jason Alexander, Fisher Stevens and Holly Hunter get terrorized by Cropsy, the summer camp legend who got roasted like so many marshmallows during a really badly planned prank and is now transforming teenagers into meat mulch.

We’ll see you Saturday, July 5th at 10pm over at Bird’s aphrodisiac Oyster shack for an evening of utter mayhem you won’t want to miss!

Stay Trashy!
-Root

27
Apr
14

Trash Cinema Nights presents “The Lost Boys” & “From Dusk Till Dawn” double Feature

Alamo-Drafthouse-Poster-the-lost-boys-movie-7100999-500-7081

FROM-DUSK-TILL-DAWN-ASTOR-poster-fin_pre

DOUBLE FEATURE!
The Lost Boys (1987) and From Dusk till Dawn (1996)
Saturday, May 3rd starting at 8pm
at Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack
as always, NO COVER!

Hey Gang, The Primal Root here and I remember a time, not so long ago I might add, when vampires were awesome. Back when they had wonderful bleach blonde mullets, lived on the beach or in bars just over the border into Mexico and danced half nekkid while adorned with a very large snake before ripping some grizzled bikers head off and chucking through the air. Yep, those were the days all right.

WELL THOSE DAYS ARE BACK for one glorious night of vampiric Trash Cinema excellence at Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack as The Trash cinema Collective presents The Lost Boys (1987) and From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) back to back for a reminder of the down and dirty carnage this blood suckers are capable of!

The Lost Boys (1987) directed by Joel Schumacher: Sam and Mike (Corey Haim and Jason Patric) just moved to Santa Carla with their Mom and have a fine time adjusting and fitting in to the beach side community. That is, Mike is initiated into a hair metal group of vampires led by a charismatic, Chinese food terrorist, David (Kiefer Sutherland) and Sam ends up getting befriending a couple teenage comic book store owners and part time vampire hunters, The Frog Brothers. It’s a whacky and horrifying time as these two boys learn the meaning of family while skinheads get their scalps savagely ripped off, body builders viciously play the saxophone while clad in purple spandex hot pants, and Corey Haim sings int he bathtub.

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) directed by Robert Rodriguez: Seth and Richard Gecko (Goerge Clooney & Quentin Tarantino) are violent criminals on the run from Johnny Law. Their goal? Make it to Mexico where they will meet their connection and start a new life for themselves living on the beach, sipping margaritas and swimming with dolphins. However, it’s a long road to Mexico, and the two volunteer a family of three by taking them hostage so they have a decent cover over the border. Once there, they must spend an evening at a cantina known as The Titty-Twister which happens to be run by vampire scum. rag-tag group of criminals, low lives and bible thumpers must band together in order to survive this dark night of slaughter. Who will survive? What will be left of them? Who will pay the tab? Featuring performances from Harvey Keitel, Juliette Lewis, Tom Savini, Fred Williamson, Selma Hayek in a bikini, Danny Trejo and Cheech Marin, John Saxon and Michael Parks!

So come on out and see what happens when two sets of brothers go head to head with some legendary blood suckers! This is a damn fine double feature of incredible cult vampire films you certainly don”t want to miss! See you at Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack Saturday, May 3rd for burgers, beer and blood spattered mayhem!

See you there!

Stay Trashy!
-Root

25
Aug
13

Maximum Overdrive (1986) or How to Embrace a “Moron Movie”

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a Primal Root written review

Ever had a really stupid idea for a story? I mean, a cool idea, but one that makes no logical sense at all? I mean, that’s kind of why story telling is so much fun. you can make up whatever you want to justify just what Hell is occurring on the page, on the screen or in your spoken word.  I know, the law of the land says everything’s gotta make sense, that things have to be believable, but sometimes that stupid, amateur, childish, imaginative idea is just too good to restrain. Enter Stephen King’s one and only directorial effort, his self proclaimed “moron movie”, 1986’s critically bashed “Maximum Overdrive.”

“Maximum Overdrive” tells the story of worldwide horror primarily through the microcosm of one filthy, small, interstate truck stop. What’s the global crisis at hand? I’m thrilled you asked! See, the entire world is caught in the tail of some kind of comet that apparently has the power to bring every single machine to vicious, murderous life! Well, with the exception of any piece of equipment required for the main character’s survival…But still, most;y every single damned machine on God’s green Earth is suddenly out for blood! Everything from steam roller crushing Little Leaguers to electric carving knives ripping up hapless waitresses arms! It’s survival of the fittest as the patrons and staff of The Dixie-Boy Truck Stop are besieged by an onslaught of malicious semi-trucks. What do these trucks want? Why are they here? Home many people are going to end up being crunched into human hamburger? All these questions are asked as the blood and bodies fly to a fucking badass AC/DC soundtrack.

James Franco is going to play me in Spider-Man 3? Okay, time to wipe out the human race.

James Franco is going to play me in Spider-Man 3? Okay, time to wipe out the human race.

Stephen King helmed his directorial debut in 1986, right the the peak of his 1980’s popularity, and the critics were chomping at the bit to rip the much beloved horror writer a new asshole. “Maximum Overdrive” provided the perfect opportunity. It’s ridiculous, over the top, gratuitous and deeply, unapologetically dumb. It’s a movie where lawnmowers come to life and chase little kids and soda machines pummel people into bloody pulps, we’re not talking about sophisticated cinema here. One thing I think the critics failed to understand is just how much fun 97 minutes of unabashed mayhem, dopey characters and brain dead dialog can be.

Got coke?

Got coke?

Starring at the time up-and-comer Emilio Estevez, as Bill, a recent parolee employed at The Dixie-Boy Truck Stop and trying to make good all while putting up with his asshole boss/slave driver, Bubba (Pat Hingle) and making love like a hero.  Bill’s situation is pretty shitty…and then machines all of a sudden inherit the Earth, giving the young man the chance to take charge and show just what he’s capable of. Not only that, but he ends up getting stuck in The Dixie-Boy with the lovely Brett (Laura Harrington), an enigmatic tough girl hitch hiker who ends up bedding the sun kissed, perpetually sweaty and over worked Bill and espousing some of the most laughably awkward pillow talk ever heard in cinema all while skull crushing semi-trucks encircle their truck stop hide out and the threat of eminent flattening hangs over everyone’s head.

It’s the ultimate blue collar, underdog, greasy low life action/horror movie as e are asked to root for a batch of characters who would typically be banished to the sidelines in bigger budget apocalypse films. These are not scientists or well worn marines, these are just a bunch of dumb, greasy, rednecks trying to get out of a perilously tough situation and survive.  This, of course, is not your typical end of the world movie scenario. But you know what, it’s about time we got to see a story like this told through the eyes of the average grease monkey. It’s I really love about this flick,

Looks like you were right, that zit was ready to pop.

Looks like you were right, that zit was ready to pop.

In the end, “Maximum Overdrive” is a fuck-all, go for broke, mean as Hell, shit kicker of a film.  Like the goblin faces semi-truck villainous star of the film, it’s completely mindless but dead set on rocking your world.  Stephen King has apologized repeatedly for this tremendous piece of Trash Cinema, and even admitted to the whole film being made in a cocaine fueled haze, but if you ask me it’s really a shame the guy hasn’t gotten back behind the camera. I sure would be curious to see what King would follow this flick up with…  “Maximum Overdrive” is a damn fine and fun piece of B-Movie entertainment. If you don’t take yourself or the premise too seriously, I defy you not to enjoy yourself laughing with or at the movie as it unfolds it’s one of a kind sci-fi/horror/ action yarn about a goofy batch of truckers and yokels duking it  out and fighting for their lives against a world gone mad as machines try to rip their insides out.

“Maximum Overdrive” might not be a classic by the standards of most, but here at The Trash Cinema Collective, it sure as Hell is. Be sure to check this one out, preferably with a cooler full of beer and a handful of pals to share the magic with.

3 1/2 Dumpster nuggets out of 5!

Maximum Overdrive Heavy

See you at The Dixie-Boy SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 7th for Trash Cinema Nights at Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack as we will be screening both “Maximum Overdrive” and “Heavy Metal Parking Lot” back to back starting at 8pm!  Hope to see you there, Gang!  Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster shack is located at 325 N Bronough St  Tallahassee, FL 32301

Stay Trashy!

-Root

23
Apr
13

Trash Cinema Night’s May 4th Star Wars Triple Feature!

May 4th

Hey Gang! As luck would have it, our official May Trash Cinema Night at Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack here in Tallahassee Florida  just so happens to fall on May4th. You know, “May the Fourth Be With You!” what many consider Star Wars Day! So, to celebrate we are hosting our first ever TRIPLE FEATURE honoring the Trashier Side of the Star Wars Legacy!

Beginning at 6:30 pm (EST) we will be showing in this order:

Star Wars Holiday Special: (1978) which aired on CBS, tells the tender story of Chewbacca and Han Solo as they drop by Kashyyyk, Chewbacca’s home world, to celebrate Life Day. but it’s a bumpy ride as the Empire’s after Han and everyone’s favorite Wookie! Featuring bizarre dance numbers, comedy sketches, the late Bea Arthur, Harvey Korman in black face and drag simultaneously, the first ever appearance of Boba Fett (in an animated short) and a rousing performance by Jefferson Starship, The notoriously awful Star Wars Holiday Special will fill your heart with Trashy delight and make you long for the prequels. Featuring Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, R2-D2 and Harrison Ford!

Star-Wars-Holiday-Special

Spaceballs:is Mel Brooks’ classic 1987 Sci-Fi comedy spoof of the Star Wars franchise. Planet Spaceball has used up all of it’s air supply and it’s diabolical leader, President Skroob (Mel Brooks), has come up with fiendish plan to steal the oxygen from Planet Druidia by sending DarK Helmet (Rick Moranis) to kidnap Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga) and hold her for ransom. It is up to Lone Star (Bill Pullman) and his sidekick Barf (John Candy) to save the day! Also featuring Joan Rivers, Dick Van Patten, and George Wyner, Spaceballs has become a cult classic and the unrivaled Star Wars spoof!

spaceballs

Turkish Star Wars (English Dub): : (1982) we’ll be showing an English dubbed version of this Turkish science fiction adventure film notorious for it’s ridiculous dialog, acting, costumes, effects and unauthorized use of Star Wars footage. fighter pilots Murat and Ali crash land on a desert planet following a battle that closely resembles the final battle in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. Both men speculate the planet is inhabited only by women, but when Murat let’s loose his Wolf Whistle, in order to attract the lovely ladies, he instead calls down an army of skeletons on horseback wielding swords. this is just the beginning of this absurd, over the top, goofy-as-all-Hell Star Wars wannabe. Trust us, this one is NOT TO BE MISSED!

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So come on out and join The Trash Cinema Collective at 6:30pm (EST)  to celebrate the rarely celebrated part of the Star Wars legacy at Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack in Tallahassee Florida! As Always, NO COVER!  sink you teeth into one of the BEST damn burgers in town, wash it down with an ice cold brew and kick back from some down and dirty Trash Cinema from a galaxy far, far, away!  See you there!

Stay Trashy!

-Root

18
Nov
12

Trash Cinema Nights presents ‘Gremlins’ and the 2nd Annual Black Elephant Gift Exchange!

SHOWING SATURDAY, DECEMBER 8TH @10PM at BIRD’s APHRODISIAC OYSTER SHACK in TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA!
“It is truly, The Muppet Chain Saw Massacre.” – Harlan Ellison on Gremlins

Hey Gang! Well, it’s that time of year again! Time to break out that ‘ol Yule Tide spirit, brace for none stop Christmas carols on the radio, Santa Claus in every TV commercial, coal in our stockings and, the most WONDERFUL time of the year, our December Trash cinema Night’s at Bird’s Aphrodisiac screening and Black Elephant Gift Exchange!

That’s right, this year we are showing the childhood, deeply cynical, traumatizing, life al

tering Joe Dante seasonal 80’s classic, Gremlins! Partial responsible for the induction of the PG-13 rating (along with Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom) Gremlins tells the story of a young man living in a picturesque, Norman Rockwell style neighborhood with his loving parents. His father gives him the gift of a small creature known as a Mogwai. There are three simple rules to follow in order to take care of this aggressively cute monster so that it does not unleash a reign of unholy, carnage down upon mankind soaking the freshly fallen winter’s snow in a bright crimson shower of arterial spray. Yes, it was marketed to kids and it helped us to realize how hilarious untimely death can be, how to throw a kickass party and TO FOLLOW THE GODDAMN RULES!

Yes, we will be showing Gremlins and then we shall follow that up with our 2nd Annual BLACK ELEPHANT GIFT EXCHANGE! So be sure to bring a Trashy Gift, MAX COST: $15, to place under our Trash Cinema festive holiday tree that does not denote any specific holiday as to avoid being offensive. The rules are, bring in a gift, draw a number as to determine in which order we will be picking out presents. Whoever goes first doesn’t get to exchange their gift for anyone else’s but the further we ascend into the numbers the more chances these folks get to exchange a gift for the one they picked…yeah…Does that make any sense? I’m sure it will once we have some booze in us.

so let us cozy around the warm Trash Cinema night’s projector, prepare for the Christmas season with a pitcher of ice cold beer, devour the Best Damn Burger in Tallahassee and join the Trash Cinema Collective Family for a screening of Gremlins followed by our 2nd Annual Black Elephant gift Exchange!

Hope to see you there!

Stay Trashy!
-Root

26
Apr
12

The Innkeepers: Clean Linens and Dead Ends

a Primal Root review

Okay Gang, I’m going to try REAL hard not to spoil anything about “The Innkeepers.” You have my word that spoilers will be kept to a minimum.

I remember hearing of Ti West’s “The House of the Devil” through the horror fan grapevine as a cinematic experience those who watched either loved or hated. I decided to give it a go and became a member of the former category. I loved “The House of the Devil” and felt it’s quirky, patient approach to building suspense and creating a genuine atmosphere of dread was so refreshing it almost felt totally new in a cinematic culture where most films are slashed to ribbons in the editing process and paced to the heart rate of a Starbucks junkie. Sure, this technique is nothing new and was perfected by the likes of Hitchcock and De Palma and Carpenter, but to see a young, fresh out the gates filmmaker like Ti West utilize a form of cinematic story telling that seemed all but forgotten instantly made the young man an artist I wanted to keep tabs on.

Enter, “The Innkeepers”, West’s most recent effort. The story of two slacker employees Claire (Sara Paxton from The Last House on the Left remake) and Luke (Pat Healy from Rescue Dawn) of the very soon to be shut down and demolished Yankee Pedlar Inn, a three story, turn of the century kind of place with awesome wallpaper, hard wood floors and the obligatory legend of a tragic death and enduring haunting therein. As the last two employees on staff at the Yankee Pedlar, Clair and Luke take the opportunity to down some cheap beer and launch a full scale investigation into the legendary haunting of deceased bride-to-be, Madeline O’Malley which Luke claims to have encountered on several occasions.

The duo busts out their recording equipment to try and capture some EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) and set the stage for the possibility of a ghostly encounter. And honestly, one gets the impression that these two are investigating more our of sheer boredom than any passionate interest. However, as some curious happenings begin to manifest around Clair and Luke they are advised by one of the only guests they have that weekend, Leanne (Kelly McGillis from Top Gun (!) ) who is a former TV actress turned psychic medium.  She comes to Claire as a friend and offers a possible guide to the spirit world while also offering some well timed significant New Age wisdom and a dark warning…

“The Innkeepers” is one scary mother fucking movie. It finally dawned on me that, really, if there’s one genre of horror sure to really get me rattled it’s the kind that involves hauntings and ghosts. Ghosts are a tricky subject in horror movies because they can be handled improperly like they were in the remake of “Paranormal Activity” (2009) or “Insidious” (2011) where everything is revealed, everything explained and everything is showcased in the light of day and leaves nothing to the imagination. I have always been of the opinion that scariest thing we will ever face is that which we don’t understand and what’s left up to us to imagine. Always, this will be far more frightening than anything a filmmaker and his effects crew could ever create and showcase.

For the majority of “The Innkeepers” we join Claire and Luke in their final, modest,  quest to seek any kind of proof of the supernatural at The Yankee Peddler. We see only what they see, hear what they hear and many times adopt their point of view as the camera track closely behind them keep the frame claustrophobic and tense as the viewer joins them in the investigation. Often there’s nothing but silence or the hum of static piping through headphones as they listen to what they’re recording. I was on the edge of my seat in anticipation being drawn in both wanting something to happen and being incredibly fucking nervous as to the when and what might be revealed or heard. It’s a film that realizes we’ve seen this sort of film before and that we are familiar with the beats. “The Innkeepers” defies our expectations and repeatedly scares the shit out of the viewer. They may be jump scares, but they are well earned and serve the purpose of the story at hand.

Not only are the scares and techniques used to deliver them excellent, but so is the cast at hand. Our star player, Sara Paxton gives a very genuine and game performance as the adorable, nerdy slacker, Claire. She finds herself in the center of the storm during the proceedings and manages to play up her distress well and also proves to be quite the comedian to boot. Paxton is imminently watchable and young actress I look forward to seeing more from. Pat Healy as Luke is a great foil to Claire and generates some great laughs with his deadpan, sarcastic performance. Like Paxton, Healy is called upon to both be very believably funny and terrified. The brother pulls it off in spades. Kelly McGillis is fantastic as the resident psychic, Leanne, a once famous TV star with a gift for communicating with the other side. As the films most prominent supporting player she proves believable and essential to the tale and really grounds the film in reality. “The Innkeepers” benefits greatly from her presence.

“The Innkeepers” brings to mind Kubrick’s “The Shining” by way of Kevin Smith’s “Clerks”. It’s the story of two intelligent but unmotivated young adults working a literal dead-end job and floating rudderless. When Clair is asked by Leanne what she does Claire can only respond with an awkward and unsure “I’m kind of between things.” as if she’s never given a single thought to what will be coming next for her.  Claire and Luke are very real and well developed characters that feel like people we know. Hell, what might be even stranger is that these characters might even be many of us, stuck in lame jobs and having resigned ourselves to them with no clue as to how we could ever better our situation.  These characters wonder the silent, ancient halls of The Yankee Peddler looking for the smallest evidence that there is something more there. Evidence that there could be any truth to legend of Madeline O’Malley. It may seem like a futile search to some, pointless even when faced with the crushing reality of oncoming unemployment, but the truth is that some of us might never find anything better than what we’ve got and grown accustomed to. Many find themselves in the exact same trap Claire and Luke find themselves in. Walking the halls of the place they can’t stand in a kind of purgatory.I can think of few things scarier than that.

Well, beside mother fucking ghosts…

The Innkeepers is an intelligent and brilliantly constructed horror film. One that doesn’t spoon feed it’s story or characters to the audience.  The Yankee Peddler itself feels like a character int he film, much in the same way The Overlook Hotel played the same sort of significance in the proceedings of The Shining. Every hall tells a story, every room has witnessed thousands of tales unfold. One can only imagine what frightening memories such a place might have. And this is the ultimate strength if “The Inkeepers”, we are given the ammunition necessary to fill in the blanks and imagine many of the films horrors. Some are blatant and in your face, but “The Innkeepers” is a smart enough film to allow room for mystery, ambiguity and interpretation.  The mark of truly good film is that it trust it’s audience and doesn’t talk down to it. “The Innkeepers” is just such a film.

It’s a slow burn that takes it’s time to build up the suspense and lay on the dread as thick as molasses while dropping in some well timed laughs and plenty of fun, snappy banter.  Ti West knocked it out of the park with this one, yes, “The Innkeepers” is well worth the visit.

Stay Trashy!

-Root




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