Posts Tagged ‘annoying

30
Oct
11

Halloween Rotten Review! Ep.22: Rocktober Blood (NSFW)

Hey Gang,

The Primal Root here, and man, I just can’t get into the Halloween spirit this year! It just feels as if I’ve seen every Halloween themed horror movie out there a million times! Just sitting here at Video 21 waiting to close down for the night, contemplating going Trick or Treating, when some last minute customers barge in and all of a sudden I find myself face to face with just piece of Trash Cinema I had been hoping for: Rocktober Blood.

Rocktober Blood is an inept, blood soaked,  hair metal epic! Featuring some of the worst acting I’ve ever witnessed, poor production values, terrible editing and some genuinely catchy cheesy 80’s metal tunes.  Plenty of murder, mayhem, plot twists, brain hemorrhaging reveals, 30 minute long bathing sequences and one incredible finale that takes place during the now LEGENDARY Rocktober Blood Concert of 1984.

So join me, your host The Primal Root, and get into the Halloween spirit as we check out one of the strangest, goofiest and trashiest films from the VHS era! Join me for a heaping helping of, Rocktober Blood!

And a VERY Special Thanks to Kevin Johnson of Celluloid Cesspool for not only introducing us to Rocktober Blood bot for sending us his personal copy which made this Rotten Review possible. Many thank, my friend!

Stay Trashy and have a Happy Halloween!

-Root

<p><a href=”http://vimeo.com/95893611″>(NSFW) Rocktober Blood (1984) The Primal Root’s Rotten Reviews Episode 22</a> from <a href=”http://vimeo.com/user24396091″>Kevin Cole</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

10
May
11

Rotten Reviews presents Brainscan

brainscan-poster2

Hey Gang,

Before I begin, let me first apologize for the Year Three hiatus. I am sure most of you heard about the trouble I ran into with my Mac just as 2011 dawned on us. Well, things are back up and running better than ever and I am happy to being you the latest Rotten Review for the 1994, Edward Furlong cyber horror fest, Brainscan!

Brainscan is the tender story of a crippled boy who is into horror movies, grunge rock, plaid shirts and video games. This young man’s name is Michael and he decides to try out the latest in interactive CD-ROM technology called BRAINSCAN. This game of murder turns out to be a little too real for our little Mickey as he learns there is a high cost to murder which includes having to deal with a lame joke spewing villain with an oddly shaped head who goes by the name of Trickster.

Get ready for peeping on the girl next door, bland home decor, annoying best friends named Kyle, Oscar Nominated Actors phoning it in, monsters cocks, fright wigs, cat teeth, gratuitous leg wounds, limping, surprise butt sex, teen angst, name calling, and a TON of Three stooges footage.

It’s the rare horror film with a ZERO body count and brings up some hot button issues as to how much we can blame violent crime on violent entertainment. At the end of the movie, this is all left open for debate. Still, kudos to Brainscan for even bringing it up. I believe you know where I stand on the topic.

Enjoy the latest Rotten Review, Gang! We have a whole lot in store for you in Year Three!

Stay Trashy,

-Root

 

29
Oct
09

The Primal Root’s Halloween Special Part 2 – Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

Halloween 05

Hey Gang!

Well, the big day is almost here and just in time for Halloween we have our second Halloween Special Rotten Review!

In this installment we are taking a look at a pretty notoriously bad piece of Halloween Trash Cinema. I’s the fifth film in the beleaguer Halloween franchise. That’s right, we’re taking a look at Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers.

Prepare yourself for obnoxious overacting middle aged teenyboppers, insane child therapists, shacks that time forgot, grizzled pirates, the bogeyman floating the Illinois rapids, young children getting run over, adults abandoning troubled children to PAR-TAY, the most painful condom in history, sex with pants on, cowboys from hell, and slightly homo-erotic doctor/patient death scene.

John Carpenter redefined not only horror, but the culture of Halloween in America back in 1978 with the release of Halloween. And man, they’ve been trying to destroy what he created ever since. With the ill conceived 5th entry Switzerland born filmmaker Dominique Othenin-Girard managed to kill off the franchise once again for about 5 years.

Join The Primal Root as he explores one of the worst sequels to any franchise ever made and get into the Halloween spirit! Trust me, we manage to turn this nastiest of tricks into quite a treat.

Stay Trashy!

– Root

<p><a href=”http://vimeo.com/85776056″>(NSFW) Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989) The Primal Root’s Rotten Reviews Episode 7</a> from <a href=”http://vimeo.com/user24396091″>Kevin Cole</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>




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