11
May
12

Gorgasm: The Ultimate Climax

a Primal Root review

Over the course of my lifetime I’ve come to realize a man happens upon many milestones. Moments in this life that stand out above all others as life altering.  Experiences that leave you stunned, silent, and with the deep realization that you are a changed man and you…will never be the same again.  I had one such moment my sophomore year of high school when I trekked to Video 21 and, after an exhaustive blind search of the Cult section,  I emerged to head to the check out counter with a trio of films that were about to not only solidify my adoration for all things sleazy, cheap, low budget and trashy, but would also cast my love of this most despised of genres in bronze ensuring my love would last a lifetime.

Sorry, I realize that last part sounds like an add for Precious Moments Baby Shoe Bronzing. Stick with me.

I took home a trilogy of films written, produced and directed by Hugh Gallagher that I have grown to dub “The Gore Trilogy.” It’s a series of three woefully  inept, shot on video horror films that have no thematic connection besides the talent behind the camera and their creative penchant for finding new ways to use the word “Gore” in all their titles.  These films are Gorgasm (1990), Gorotica (1993) and Gore Whore (1994).

In the Trial of The Primal Root vs. Misspent Youth, your honor, may we enter into evidence Exhibit A.

Let it be stated, I had no idea what exactly I was walking into with this trio of grainy, poorly made,  laughably bad, sexually freakish videos, but I believe they are part of what shaped me into the demented Trash Cinema lover that I am today.  Now, well over a decade later, I feel it is time to once again take a look at Hugh Gallagher’s  video legacy and share the slimy, mind boggling oddities that make up “The Gore Trilogy”.

First up, Hugh’s directorial debut, the aptly named “Gorgasm: The Ultimate Climax”.

Our hero, ladies and gentlemen!

Our film begins with the rarest of horror movie standards, the opening soliloquies! Which has no real bearing on the story at hand other than introducing us to our eternally greasy, bug eyed, sports coat donning hero,  Chase played by Rik Billock, who I was shocked to learn has a rather impressive filmography that includes parts in films like George Romero’s Stephen King adaptation “The Dark Half” and the late Bill Hinzman’s “Flesheater”.  He shares such soul searching deep thoughts as “Religion prepares us for death. Why didn’t anyone prepare me for life?” from behind a lit cigarette, and gets so damned into his little diatribe that he nearly busts out into community theater style tears by monologue’s end.  Again, this is about a five minute spoken word performance right at the beginning of the movie that has nothing to do with ANYTHING that follows. Now this is how you reel an audience in!

Okay, well, maybe the opening title card is a better was to make sure your audience stays in their seat.

Oh man! they just gave away the whole plot!

Soon enough we are introduced to homicidal call girl and power tool enthusiast, Tara, brought to ever-loving life by fully stacked actress, Gabriela, who only has three other films to her credit after her leading role in “Gorgasm” and two of them reference anal penetration in their titles. Basically,  Tara is a high priced call girl who spreads her message through personal ads in scuzzy adult magazines offering “Gorgasm: The Ultimate Climax”.  What service does she provide, you ask? Well, for every dime you have, Tara will come over, tie you up, spin in circles while wearing cheesy Spencer’s Gifts style lingerie. She will then reveal her gargantuan breasts for you to ogle before she brutally murders you!

In fact, our first scene in the film proper is one such business transaction as she spins about, in what looks to be my Grandmother’s kitchen circa 1985, in front of a hairy, sweaty man bound and gagged to a lovely antique dining room table. Tara kicks it up a notch as she begins blasting her cassette tape of the obscure, high energy tune, “Sex Toy”, pops her melons out of the chute and cuts off her neglige with an apparently very dull butcher knife.  Her customer doesn’t seem to mind.

I feel good about myself!

He doesn’t even seem to mind when she begins slicing into his midsection with that big knife of hers, and when I say he doesn’t mind, I mean he doesn’t even flinch as the blade draws large drips of blood with each slash across the man’s chest and gratuitous beer belly.  In all honesty, the captive, paying client looks almost bored at this point. Shit, he doesn’t even register a reaction when Tara eventually approaches from behind,  drapes her ample rack around his bright red neck, like one of those Air Mall stress pillow deal, before hacking his jugular wide open! The fella’s head tips forward and that’s it! Gone! Scianora!  Obviously, money well spent.

Detective Chase, who works in a police station that was apparently built by the wood paneling commission of Illinois, is introduced to us officially as the bottom of the barrel desk dwelling detective no one wants to actually put on a case. Seems he’s more valuable to the force as a paperwork drone.  To his amazement, Sarge (played by mulleted and minimalist actress Paula Hendrix in her one and only screen credit) brings the case involving the throat slashing incident to his desk and asks him to take the lead! Chase is overjoyed until he’s informed it’s only until Detective Sanchez recovers from a cold or something. What I’m saying is that this is temporary. But this doesn’t stop chase from giving the case everything he’s got!

I’d be remiss if I didn’t make mention of the strange little subplot starring filmmaker Hugh Gallagher’s wife, Paula Gallagher, as Nicole, a woman whose boyfriend wants her to beat him up and sodomize him. She calls him a pervert, breaks up with him, and then plants her knee into his man bits giving him what he probably wanted, anyway. As he drops to the floor sobbing and nursing his jollies, she rushes out the door and back to work at the local Winn-Dixie where she seeks solace in co-worker and possible crypt keeper, Connie (Debbie Patterson). Nicole is convinced by Connie that she might just like kicking the crap out of her weasel of a boyfriend and by the time Nicole returns home she is decked out head to toe in fetish gear looking to enter her fellas fantasy kingdom.

Nicole gets a lesson in love at the local Winn-Dixie supermarket. They are the self proclaimed “Beef People”, after all.

Only she is too late! Her boyfriend has called up Tara and her Gorgasmic services which Nicole walks in on just in time to catch Tara in bed with her man and tearing meaty chunks out of his throat with an industrial weed whacker (!) Now, Nicole could have totally escaped this scenario as Tara is so caught up in her work she doesn’t even notice the near-naked, towering, leathery skinned blonde woman who just walked into the room. Sadly, Nicole trips over the weed whacker chord thereby alerting Tara to her presence.  It is only after a very close call with the Tara and her weed whacker of death in the bathroom that Nicole goes for the escape only to trip over her super woman stilettos and sealing her fate. Tara gets down to the nitty gritty and starts choking a bitch.  What really makes this scene work is how Tara tells Nicole how she gets paid “good money” to do this and NOT TO WORRY! “I won’t charge you for this.” This plot thread is worth mentioning because it is never brought up again. The crime scene is never discovered and no one even talks about it. Then again, you look at the police force we’re dealing with, and it’s hard to believe that this is a plot hole.

The Porn Industries’ Seedy Underbelly Welcomes You! In fact, this guy might be my favorite character in the whole movie. No lie.

Chase’s investigation takes him to the seedy underbelly of the porn industry in Hamel Illinois as the detective follows leads to understocked adult stores for lengthy montages of his shopping spree, grotesque XXX film producers who seem to have some form of Downs Syndrome intermingling with  Tourettes, and even to the blood-drenched aftermath of one of Tara’s “Gorgasm” get togethers. One of the better ones, too! This is the aftermath of her most Jigsaw-esque slaying which involved a rope attached to a garage door opener and then tied around some asshole’s neck. At the scene of the crime Sarge calls this  “A brilliant device.” Lady, it’s a garage door opener and a rope. Come on.

What a magnificent device! I’ve never seen anything like this! This woman’s a GENIUS!

During this murder sequence Tara opens up to her next victim and openly discusses her deceased husband who was a”beautiful” man and enjoyed being pushed to the very limits of pleasure and pain. However, it’s a one-sided conversation as her victim is gagged and cannot respond at all to Tara’s sad story of how her husband liked to be whipped repeatedly and have his balls stomped upon. The typical story of star-crossed lovers. In fact, Tara even as a creepy dummy she keeps suspended from the ceiling of her lair of sexual evils that she talks to and calls “sweetheart”. She also practices her lashing skills on the thing.

Don’t think for a second Tara doesn’t have a softer side, though. A hidden part of her personality is revealed in a sequence that comes out of left field in which Tara drives out to a sewage retention pond near a busy overpass to bask in the sun and frolic in nature amongst the rusty discarded beer cans and crunchy used condoms. She spots a rotting romance novel as she gazes over an abandoned, rotten motel, and reads a passage about tender, gentle love that moves her to pick up a red-faced, mulleted youth and fuck him in a motel room. Now that’s romance! Anyhoo, she whips out the hooters, kind of gets near him and then backs off only to break his neck and fondle his dead penis. I guess the lady knows what she likes.  Highlight of this scene, and the reason I even brought it up, is when the actor playing the seduced youth hops into bed he unintentionally bashes his noggin against the head board with an audible “CRAUNCH”. He can’t play it off, let’s out an anguished “ARRGGHH!” before rubbing his head in pain, and then settling down for the loving he’s sure is coming right around the corner. I’m sure this guy just reeks of Miller High Life and Slim Jims.

I don’t feel “brain damage” is much of a concern in this guy’s case.

Just as Chase is making some headway on the “Gorgasm” case he is pulled off of it as Sanchez has fully recovered from his slight cough and Chase swears he will make them all pay! Yeah, the only people who will be paying is the audience who must endure a slow motion dream sequence of his in which he wears a super tiny black pair of underoos and seduces a handcuffed Tara in his living room before slugging her in the face.  Out of all the visuals in “Gorgasm” the only one that haunts me is seeing Chase nearly nude and trying to be sexy while coated in a thing layer of perspiration and nicotine, his thinning blonde hair in greasy disarray and his bugged-out eyes starring into my soul. I’ve seen countless horror films and, to my dismay, this is the image that’s haunted my nightmares for over a decade.

Enough about me, Chase decides to take matters into his own hands, contacts Tara through a personal add, and sets up a “combat” date where only one will leave alive. Of course Tara is totally down with this, but how they both know the dress code of this engagement without ever discussing it has me wondering if this movie has a very subtle supernatural underpinning to it.  How else do you explain Chase wearing a camouflaged  shirt & slacks combo and Tara showing up in a fetching matched camou bikini? Really, what better way to blend in with a middle class suburban living room? Maybe they both just have similar fashion sense? Either way, I guess it illustrates just how similar these two characters are. Or something…?

Tara and Chase: A lot alike? I see two BIG differences right off the bat.

They lock eyes, Chase draws his gun, Tara draws her machete, and the combat is on! Immediately Tara loses her top so she has to spend the rest of the chase bouncing her large breasts all over the screen as she runs from the equally floppy Detective Chase. Tara runs for the garage to hide which leads to one of the funniest moments of the entire film. Chase, gun in hand, slowly walks into the garage, hand first, now knowing Tara is hiding right next to the door on the opposite side with her trusty machete raised high above her head.  In a split second Chase loses both his weapon and hand to the evil call girl! He soon passes out as his nemesis stares him down, no doubt figuring out her next move…In the end, it takes both characters to a fate neither one could have seen coming. Although the audience probably did. Let’s just say there are some mind blowing reveals and guns going off in the place you’d ever want them to go off.

Shock? Pain? Or does he smell Alpo?

Let’s just say, by the end of “Gorgasm” there are no clear winners. Hell, there’s really no clear nice guy or bad guy! Everyone is up to no good. I suppose, in some strange way, Tara is not really the villain of the piece. She’s kind of an anti-hero, I mean, sure she kills people in hilariously gruesome ways but it’s what her clients want! I mean, she’s running a business, yes?  Someone wants their head ripped off by a spinning topless woman? So be it, I say!  The customer is always right.

Can’t say she didn’t get a little head during her killing spree. HA! Be sure to tip your waitress…

“Gorgasm” is a fucking TERRIBLE movie. There is nothing good about it. From the  “acting” to the cinematography, writing, and gore effects absolutely nothing in this film works!  I mean, there’s a veritable all-you-can-eat buffet of Gabriela’s tits on display but those breasts are probably the only thing of any quality note.  Still, as I’m sure you all know,  quality does not always determine watchability! Despite its near infinite flaws, “Gorgasm” still manages to be hysterical, exploitative, cheesy, and pretty damn entertaining. It’s a slice of the trash cinema pie that’s more of an acquired taste than most. Those who can enjoy films such as Troll 2 and Samurai Cop would probably be the core audience for this kind of flick.

Tastes like lime!

“Gorgasm”, the first entry in Hugh Gallagher’s Gore Trilogy, is probably the weakest entry but still manages to deliver on the lame-o unintentional hilarity and the sleazeball tits and gore. Not even a cult film, more of a forgotten, never was sort of nada flick, “Gorgasm” is one for the hardcore fans of all things Trash. Be warned, this flick is not for the faint of heart. It’s almost unfathomably bad, but for a certain group of us, it’s the most wonderfully perfect kind of bad imaginable.

Soon to come, The Primal Root’s review of the Second Entry in Hugh Gallagher’s Gore Trilogy, “Gorotica”!

Stay Trashy!

-Root


4 Responses to “Gorgasm: The Ultimate Climax”


  1. November 21, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    I really enjoyed your scene by scene trashing of our film “Gorgasm” Between nepotism and my boss played by a woman who couldn’t remember her lines nor deliver them effectively and over the top overacting in places(MEI just had to say I got a lot of laughs out of this review and glad you did out of our movie. But man, was it fun to make! I think Gabriela and I worked about 5 days on this thing and everything was rush rush but in a good way, I, like you, loved our producer who played the porno king. I thought this scene or maybe the whole damn movie should’ve been a comedy. I watched the two other Gore(Gorotica and Gore Whore)films Hugh made and I disagree we were the worst. I’m prejudice though) i think we should’ve ended it with Chase jumping into the backyard Hugh Gallagher swimming pool on the inflatable shark which is what I did when we wrapped. Gettin raisa,…uh, Gabriella and l back to the airport at speeds of over a hundred miles an hour in Hugh’s Trans Am was film worthy as well and too bad we didn’t do a making of “Gorgasm” But hey, Trash fun is fun and horror films are always a kick in the cajones to make. Oh, wait! I’m NOT into that kinda shit. Prepare for the Ultimate Climax me in “Milk Mustache””The Fallen 2012″”Promised Land””Corpsing”The Korean”(at Vimeo/rikbillock along with “The Dark Half” and “Flesheater” ALL three for free)”Enter the Zombie 3D””New Terminal Hotel”youtube/rocketsteelbuildings/zombieproof our 7 minute zombie commercial with me in the lead and starring in Dorian Cleavenger’s “Billy” come spring. But fangs for the memories Bro and for taking the time to work your review. You know how slashers are reviewed even worse than horror films! LMFAO still. Take care and keep em coming! ~ Rik Billock PS Facebook/richard billock

    • 2 primalroot
      December 8, 2012 at 2:18 pm

      Rik!

      Holy cow, thanks for taking the time to comment on the Trash Cinema Collective review of your flick, mister! I am a huge fan of the trilogy and push them onto anyone I can. I know I rag on the film a bit, but it honestly holds a very special place in my heart. I agree with you, the thing really plays well as a comedy and you idea for an alternate ending? Chase jumping into the pool on an inflatable shark? Sir, that would have been the perfect finale. Rik, do you ever hit the conventions? I would love to see a reunion, perhaps of all the folks involved in the Gore trilogy. I’m looking forward to seeing what you have in store next and deeply appreciate you taking the time to say hello and let us in on some of your memories of shooting Gorgasm. Take care, my good man, and drop by any time!

      yours,
      -Root

  2. February 2, 2013 at 2:07 am

    The co-producer of GOROTICA and GORE WHORE told me about your reviews so I had to check them out. Funny stuff, even if I am the butt of most of the jokes. When I made GORGASM, I made it with the intention of selling it to one of the many video distributors that were around at the time. A movie had to be at least 85 minutes (according to them) for them to be interested. I am currently re-editing the movie to cut out some of the dead weight, all three movies are gearing up for re-release.

    All three movies were shot in 5 days or less with very little money. Big problem with these schedules and the money available, you sometimes have to live with what you get and just make do. You don’t have time or money to reshoot things over and over to get it perfect. Plus, you have people dropping out, not showing up, losing locations, continual changes… I think with what we had to work with we came out with three original movies that are entertaining to watch even with their flaws. I feel I need to make another movie just to redeem myself as a movie maker. Although it will be just as weird… but hopefully it will be technically better. I am not making excuses for what I did, I like all three of my movies, despite their flaws.

    Just so you know, GOROTICA was originally written as WAKE THE DEAD, it was while we were shooting someone said I should call it GOROTICA to link it to GORGASM. It was too good of a title to not use. I just continued on with the theme with GORE WHORE, none of the movies were intended to be related in any way.

    Just a couple tid bits, the band in GORE WHORE were practicing, that was why no one was in the club. And in GORGASM the police chief mentions having to go check out an incident involving a weed eater across town… Not that any of this matters, but your thorough reviews claimed things that were not explained but were actually explained in the dialogue.

    I have a hard time picking my favorite movie, I like each one for different reasons. GORGASM for the fun of making it, had a really good time shooting that and the main actors scenes were shot in only 3 days! GOROTICA for the really weird storyline, I couldn’t believe I could find people willing to make this movie. The guy who gets his dick chomped off in GORE WHORE was supposed to play the dead guy in GOROTICA but dropped out the night before shooting… the movie almost died right there! Bushrude (obviously not his real name) finally agreed to do it after Mike and I talked to him nonstop the evening before. I finally had to give him more money to get him to play the part… it was worth it. GORE WHORE for all the gore, it was really gory. The slow motion car scene wreck was supposed to be more dramatic but we couldn’t figure out a way to wreck it without hurting someone so we put a dummy in it and stuck a brick on the gas and hoped for the best. Looked better in slo-mo than in real time. After it was in the gulley we were done with no way of getting it out, so I gave the keys and title to the guy that had jacked off in the Beetle Bug and we went on to shoot the next scene. He got it out and continued to drive it!

    I could go on and on. I guess I am glad you wrote these reviews, although I wish I wasn’t in such a bad light. It is very hard to make a movie, especially on these ultra-low budgets. Given the circumstances I think we did a good job. I have had a lot of people write me saying these movies inspired them. There were thousands of crappy video movies made during the 80s and 90s and people are still talking about these… so we must have done something right!

    Hugh Gallagher

    • 4 primalroot
      February 2, 2013 at 7:45 am

      Hugh! It’s an honor and a pleasure hearing from you, mister! Thank you for being such a good sport about the ribbing I gave the Gore Trilogy. Trust me when I say it is out of nothing but love. I rented your three videos when I was in high school back in the 90’s and I have been telling everyone I know about them ever since. When my local video store had a fire sale I the very first items I grabbed were Gorgasm, Gorotica and Gore Whore, because out of every flick there, those three hold such a special place in my heart. Consider me one of the many inspired.

      I’m not sure if you checked out any of my other posts but I began directing a web series “The Primal Root’s Rotten Reviews” back in…jeez, I think it was 09, now, and if making short twenty minute videos can prove this difficult and time consuming, I can only imagine the massive undertaking a full length feature can be.

      Bottom line, I am a huge fan and admirer of your Gore Trilogy and show them to whoever I can get to sit down and watch. When I look at horror convention lineups I keep waiting to see a Gorgasm, Gorotica or Gore Whore reunion because I would give just about anything to meet everyone behind these movies, shake their hands (and give hugs where permitted) because to me, there are very few horror movies from the 1990’s as entertaining, strange, and unique as yours. And although I might find them entertaining in a campy way, your movies have brightened many of mine, and my friends, days.

      And Hugh, PLEASE, as a fan I am begging you to make another movie! I would love to see what you come up with! Would you work with many of the same cast and crew from your previous Gore Trilogy? Even if some familiar faces showed up in cameos, it would be quite a thrill for fans to see then on screen again in a Hugh Gallagher story.

      Hugh, I hope one day I get the opportunity to sit down and chat it up with you. Thank you so much for dropping by, sharing your thoughts and all the trivia about the productions. Would you at all be interested in doing a review for the Trash Cinema Collective blog?

      Hugh, take care of yourself, sir. And keep on cranking out the bizarre, hilarious, unique and awesome Trash Cinema!

      Stay Trashy!
      -The Primal Root


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