Who doesn’t remember E.T.? The cute, cuddly, persecuted Reese’s Pieces Loving extra terrestrial who was left behind only to phone home and teach us all about love and peace in the process? Well, forget that feel good shit, this is XTRO. Britain’s hugely fucked up, grisly and disgusting answer to one of the most successful family films ever made.
XTRO is the story of a broken marriage, alien abduction, and coming up with as many ways as possible to make sure that for next few days after watching XTRO the thought of sex will make you vomit all over yourself. Sure, there’s a little kid and an alien who is far closer to him than E.T. was to that little asshole he befriend, but XTRO’s single goal seems to make sex as unappetizing as possible. And it would have succeeded if it weren’t for that gratuitous sex scene featuring a very young and zipper burn inducingly hot Maryam d’Abo (The Living Daylights) that reminds us sex without extra terrestrial involvement is pretty dang awesome.
Just keep those images of her in your mind rather than vagina egg chutes or grown men ripping their way out of the womb as sloppy red gunk sprays across the floor…
Enjoy this interstellar Rotten Review, Gang! And don;t forget, you can meet Tim Dry, the guy in the rubbery monster suit doing the crab walk, at the Days of the Dead Horror Convention in Indianapolis happening July 1-3! Make sure you go, and when you do, keep your eyes peeled for your old pal The Primal Root! Looking forward to meeting some fellow Trash Cinema Connoisseurs.