“‘Paranormal Activity’ is one of the scariest movies of all time. You will be affected as it’s hard to ignore the imprint it leaves on your psyche. Nightmares guaranteed.”  – Bloody Disgusting

A Primal Root Review

I saw Paranormal Activity this past weekend on opening night with a sold out audience here in Tallahassee Florida’s AMC Theater. There were screams, there were covered eyes and people jumping in their seats.  My gorgeous woman Jessica, our friend Terrius (who fell into a deep sleep halfway in) and myself were not among the majority of folks scared out of their skin by this film.  I expressed this opinion and have caught nothing but hell for it by the folks who are in love with the film. They have tried coming up with reasons why I didn’t enjoy myself.

This is not just a review but an argument for the defense.

Ghosts and the idea of ghosts have always terrified me. I’ve had a life long fascination to the point my family would buy me books about supernatural phenomenon for Christmas. I was a believer for years but have since become a bit of a skeptic. I believe people experience “ghosts” and that it’s a field of human experience worth studying.I am still fascinated by the subject, love to hear about other’s encounters and even get goose-bumps and chills to imagine myself in those situation. Questioning the actual existence of ghosts doesn’t mean I am not scared shitless of them. If I ever saw one I would probably die right where I stood from fright.

Now, I love The Blair Witch Project and it still manages to creep me out a decade later. What I imagine having happened and the forces at work are far more terrifying than anything shown on screen. The strength of The Blair Witch Project is that things were left ambiguous.

With Paranormal Activity things were spelled out from the get-go. We knew it was a ghost, no wait, a demon, who obviously is going (don;t wanna spoil the movie but you’ve probably already guessed the ending simply from the concept) by the end of the film. We see it coming. We know the rules. And to be edgy, of course, it’s left open ended. It just felt very by the book.

Common Courtesy dictates that you disclose all your demons before moving in with your significant other.

Give me something interesting and captivating without rules or boundaries like The Blair Witch Project and I will GLADLY fill in the blanks because I will not be able to help it. In the case of Paranormal Activity there was not a captivating character  to latch onto for me, there was not a single scene that would lead me to believe the film would end in any other way than predicted. There was nothing that really brought me into the film and made me a part of it. It’s easy for me to get lost in a movie, a book, any piece of art. This one just didn’t draw me in.

I’m not going to apologize for this or stand for being called closed minded, unimaginative,  or not open to the scare. I walked in expecting to be be scared. I was not. That’s just how it went down. There were girls walking out of the theater shaking and crying. I walked out yawning and shrugging. Just not my movie. Glad just about everyone else got what they paid for.

As always, Stay Trashy!

your pal,

-The Primal Root

Adorable Katie Featherston's is the main target of all that Paranormal Activity.