26
Jul
16

The Cheerleaders (1972): Smells Like Teen Spirit!

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“Norm, you’ve got pies in your Levis.” – Stephanie Fondue as Jeannie in The Cheerleaders

a Primal Root written review

This is the film that started it all. The film that bridged the gap between the cinematic beach blanket bingo goofiness era of the 1960’s and the no tits uncovered teensploitation bushapalooza of the 1970’s. That’s right, we’re talking about my favorite Trash Cinema sex comedy of all time, 1972’s The Cheerleaders. A film that pulls of the trick of combining both rosy cheeked innocence and balls deep raunchiness at the exact same time which, in short order, became the go-to magic formula for the genre. In my filthy opinion, no teen tits and ass movie ever treaded the terrain as well, either genuinely hilariously or penis swelling sexily as The Cheerleaders managed to pull it off. Not only that, but teen sex comedies for the next 40 years all owe an enormous debt of gratitude to this game changing slice of Trash Cinema sleaze.

Legend has it that after the success of the enormously bankable 3-D softcore skin flick, The Stewardesses, The Cheerleaders director Paul Glickler decided another sexploitation picture featuring ladies in and out of uniform would make a chunk of change at the box office. After witnessing a troupe of sexy early 1970’s all natural high school majorettes strut their stuff in a small town parade, Glickler knew he had a winner. When he pitched his initial idea was met with plenty of skepticism, after all, we are talking about the sex lives of teenagers which was a tiny bit taboo at the time. But once Glicker crossed paths with Jerry “I Drink Your Blood/ I Eat Your Skin” Gross, Glickler’s sleazy, perverted idea become an glorious reality. The Cheerleaders was released regionally in the budding spring of 1972 , and by the fall of that same year, The Cheerleaders had become the #1 movie in The Land of the Free, The United states of America, doing our grand, old nation proud. The proved at long last that we should never, ever, underestimate the overwhelming power of nubile, bouncy cheerleaders to draw a crowd happy to pay their hard earn cash to ogle their lovely young bodies.

The Cheerleaders - Stephanie Fondue

The Cheerleaders commences at Amorosa High School as their football team is in the middle of their biggest winning streak in many a moon. What is their secret? Their horny cheerleading squads voracious sexual appetite and their mission to ball every opposing team in it’s entirety the night before each game. These young ladies’ immense school spirit is matched only by the fathomless rage of their teenage libidos. The Cheerleading squad is so damn popular they have their own corner in the girls locker room where the pervy janitor has placed his peep hole. The other girls peep around their lockers to watch these lovely young ladies dress and undress. However, one girl seems more enamored by the mysterious sexual allure of this band of sexually aggressive females.  It is the cherubic face, young, naive Jeannie (Stephanie Fondue) and she decides she will do ANYTHING to become a part of the team.

Let me stop this review right here and take a moment to discuss my unending love for actress Stephanie Fondue. Like Jill Lansing in Malibu High (1979), this was Stephanie’s only roll and there’s not much information to be found about her or what became of her. All we know for sure is that her real name is Enid and that she did some nude modeling for magazines. Also, according to Glickler, she was incredibly open and free with her body to the extent that she even offered to actually fuck her fellow actors for the sex scenes. For whatever reason, she wondered off from an exceedingly promising cult actress career and vanished into Trash Cinema oblivion. She is absolutely phenomenal in this film. Her awesome punk rock chop top hairdo, to her goofy, awkward teenage line delivery, her fantastic comedic instincts and tomboy sexual appeal coupled with her generous amounts of total nudity, she gives a screen performance that is unforgettable and makes the whole film a joy to watch. Her willingness to do anything for a laugh, from wrestling nekkid int he shower with the entire football team, to exploding forth from a bedroom totally nekkid and spread eagle after a waterbed explodes, insured that Ms. Fondue’s performance is among the most inspiring of all sexploitation. I will forever admire Stephanie Fondue and wonder where she is…and if she’s thinking of The Primal Root, too.

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Okay, back to the review!When it becomes common knowledge that one of the cheerleaders has had to quit the squad due to an unscheduled pregnancy, Jeannie grabs her pom-poms and joins the try out! Beforehand, she gets some advice from Bonnie and Debbie on how to be embody the spirit of the cheerleading squad. First, the get Jeannie to ditch the bra and then get her to put on the clothes her teddy bear typically wears before they totally lose focus and go off to seduce the men of the house, Jeannie’s chronically masturbating brother, Bonnie offers a lovely alternative,  and Jeannie’s incredibly lecherous and wondrously dorky Father. Debbie attempts to seduce the bespectacled golf fanatic.

“Gee, Mr. Davis,” Debbie says, picking up one of Dad’s golfballs,” I like your balls.”

Dad, being a wile old fox, of course, gives her an impromptu golf lesson.

When Dad gets a look at Jeannie’s nipples pocking through her super tight and tiny shirt, he loses his boner quick and flips his shit, going off on poor Jeannie. Outside, as she consoled by Debbie and Bonnie, it comes to light that Jeannie is in fact…still a virgin.

“Norman thinks I’m a piece of toast,” Jeannie strangely asserts. “Buttered.”

Zod, I love the dialog in this movie.❤

Jeannie tries out and she is horrible, however, she is a virgin and according the wisdom of the 1970’s, less likely to get knocked up, so they decide to give her a chance. First stop, initiation. They tell her she must shower int he boy’s locker room, convincing her by lying that football practice won;t be over for another hour. Of course, as Jeannie stands nekkid, wet and alone in the shower, the entire football team comes running in nekkid, filthy and as is the case with most teenage boys, horny as fuck. Not the best strategy if you don;t want your new cheerleader getting pregnant, but for sheer visual impact, this is among the finest scenes in annals of teensploitation. No other woman in trash cinema history has ever pulled off fully nude pratfalls with such lovely timing and grace.

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And then Debbie fucks the guy at the hamburger stand. And Claudia fucks the coach, And Patty fucks the lesbian gym teacher of a crotch thrusting piece of gym equipment. As you may ascertain, there’s a fuck ton of fucking in The Cheerleaders and if it’s not actually kind of sexy it is bafflingly over the top and awkwardly funny. On the way home from school Jeannie mentions to fellow cheerleader, the red headed Suzy, that she has no idea how to seduce a boy. Suzy shows her how it’s done by hoping over to fellow bus rider, grabs his dick and starts going to town. As we all know, this is pretty much a spot on representation of all a woman need do to seduce a man.  Suzy then goes on to fuck the bus driver as he continues his route.

Soon, an actual plot begins forming as Jeannie invites the Squad over for a slumber party before the big final football game of the season that will determine the championship. The entire football team crashes the party and the Cheerleaders can;t help themselves, like a filthy version of Pokemon go, these ladies gotta fuck ’em all! And they do, with relish. Only thing is, now it is their own team that has been fucked into a near comatose state which will end int heir loss of the championship. It is now up to The Cheerleaders to pull an all night, county wide fuck fest to pound the other team’s pud until every single one of their pinkies is all stinky and the odds are matched. The girls ambush and have sex with their team’s opponent, no one is safe as they attack them at the gym posing as weights, at the drive in, at the garage, in various bedrooms, and in my favorite bit, bursting forth through a table and a pepperoni pizza at an Italian restaurant.

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However, the next day there is one player that didn’t get laid last night. The 4th string QB was somehow missed during the all night cum raid. But whose pussy is pure enough to take down this final swinging dick that stands hard against Amorosa High and their championship victory? Could it be…Jeannie the virgin?

The Cheerleaders is by far and away one of the most bizarre, sexy and funny sexploitation teen sex comedies I’ve ever seen and one I hold very close to my filthy heart. It was quickly followed by an onslaught of cheerleader sex pictures giving way to the term Cheersploitation, and is a genre that has stuck around to this very day. As long as you have enthusiastic, energetic, chicks in skimpy outfits and as long as folks continue to enjoy baring witness to their cinematic antics, it’s genre that will be with us until humanity finally dies out.

Still, The Cheerleaders was the first and will always be, by this purveyor of filths humble opinion, the finest example of the genre.

I award The Cheerleaders FIVE out of FIVE Dumpster Nuggets.

Stay Trashy!

-Root

 

 

 

 

25
Jun
16

(NSFW) The Teacher (1974) Too Cheeky

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“Well, come on in a minute… I’m not gonna rape you.” – Angel Tompkins as Diane Marshall in The Teacher

a Primal Root written review

Sexy, taboo, tawdry disturbing with just the right amount of putrid awfulness and sense of shame makes The Teacher (written and directed by Howard Avedis) unintentionally genius. The film is aware of it’s limitations, yet still manages to pull out all the stops and deliver a lowbrow, steamy, creepy chunk of sleazy entertainment that was, to my own amazement effectively erotic, which brought about by subtle, slow simmering means.

Most of the credit, if not all the credit, rest squarely on the capable, sensual shoulders of the ravishing Angel Tompkins (as The Teacher of the title, Mrs. Diane Marshall), but when you are effortlessly lovely and seductive as Ms. Tompkins’, all you need do is glance at local teenage rapscallion and it won’t be long before you have them eating out of your hand. there are many nuanced layers to this seedy, sexual creep fest. The most important of which involves a yellow slicker wearing psychotic stalker Vietnam war veteran named Ralph (played by excellent character actor, Anthony James, who turns the film’s most memorable performance.) who may or may not have been one of Diane’s early student/teacher sexual conquests and is now dangerously, murderously fixated upon her. I don’t believe this is ever made explicitly clear in the film, but Ralph’s doomed little brother, Lou (Rudy Harris Jr.) says his brother claims to have made the sign of double backed mud weasel with her at some point in the not too distant past. Ralph has a headquarters up int he top of a derelict building next to a dystopian marina where Diane parks her boat she somehow affords on a teacher’s salary in 1974. This boat’s primary purpose, it would seem, is for Diane to take it out in the harbor, about 500 yards from where she had it docked, take off her top and sun bath…while Ralph watches through the binoculars he keeps in his red velvet coffin up in his lair.

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And that’s how this whole sordid tale gets going, a pair of binoculars, a pair of sun baked boobs and a deeply disturbed Vietnam war veteran. Lou takes his best friend Sean (Jay North, that’s right, a slightly more grown up version of TV’s Dennis the Menace) to Ralph’s lair after the last day of school to take a peek at their teachers chesticles. As the gawk and stare, Ralph hides in the shadows, sneaks up behind the two unsuspecting high school students and scares the ever loving shit out of them. In fact, he scares his brother Lou so bad he falls of the roof and plummets to his death from the voyeuristic perch, where, from a bird’s eye view after he crunches to the pavement below, we can see blood pouring forth from what seems to be his denim clad asshole. Ralph freaks the fuck out and swears bloody, murderous revenge against Sean the innocent Sean for the murder of his brother. Of course, Sean shortly after become fuckmantically involved with Diane, which sends Ralph even deeper into super psycho homicidal behavior which makes for some very strange, very awkwardly funny and even somewhat affecting trash cinema moments.

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But, as you and I know, the opportunity to sexually experiment as a teenager with someone who looks like Angel Tompkins is an extreme rarity, so, despite the obvious liabilities to his young life, Sean loses his virginity and begins an illicit fuck buddy relationship with the seductive, easy as Sunday morning, Diane Marshall. However, I must acknowledge it took Sean a good amount of the film’s running time to get the courage to finally slip Diane the extra credit she’s been blatantly asking for ever since summer break begins. She seems to be after him in every scene they share together and he always brushes her off with is trademarked excuse, “I gotta go work on my van.” Pool parties, kitchen flirtations, laying around nekkid in the master bedroom asking him to kiss her sweet meat…okay, that last one didn’t ACTUALLY happen, but he does finally give into his desires, overcomes his fear of sex with a married woman who is ALSO his teacher, and they both love every damn second of the deep dicking.  However, as a viewer and a human being, the fact that it took this 18 year old boy so long to give in to his 28 year old teachers sexual temptation frustrated me as a sane human being. I mean, really, who cares if a deranged mad man with a saber and banana yellow rain jacket is out to slice you from groin to sternum and jump rope with a length of your shit filled intestines? All that beer drinking, fucking and frolicking are totally worth it in The Primal Root’s book. I say job well done, Sean! Life is fleeting, anyway. Go fuck your teacher, son.

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Oh, before I forget, Sean’s mother/pimp is played by none other than Miss Universe 1961, Marlene Schmidt, who quite a piece of Devil’s food cake, herself. She even has one of my favorite bizarre-o lines in the entire film as she chats bikini clad poolside with Diane, “I find him very attractive, even if he IS my son.” Man, not since Back to the Future has a film managed an Oedipal moment like that.

At the end of the day, Angel Tompkins really is what I take away from The Teacher. Well, that and an important lesson about never peeping on your teacher with binoculars of lunatics that live in rat infested demilitarized buildings near a pier. Angel is amply equipped and totally convincing in the roll of an experienced seductress. Someone who will stop at nothing until you drop your trousers and irrigate her soy bean field. Sure, she’s not an especially talented actress, but the lack of wardrobe does help take the edge off, but there’s no denying she is fucking stellar in the one moment when Sean admits in her and his parents that he was spying on her while she was nude sunbathing. Her satisfied, utterly aroused little smirk is goddamn lip smacking delicious. Ms. Tompkins seductively saunters from scene to scene with an unparalleled sense of self possession. It’s as if she’s seducing us as we watch, but that could just be me talking over the sound of my own raging boner.

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Anyway, The Teacher is a goddamn remarkable, low brow, trash cinema experience. It has enough  fun sex shenanigans to get your popcorn popping and a nice freakish mean streak to keep you wondering just where the fuck this batshit tale os sluts, psychos and dick brained teens is taking us. they sure as Hell don’t make ’em this sleazy anymore. The Teacher passes the test, every time, Gang.

I give The Teacher a solid 5 out of 5 Dumpster Nuggets. 90 minutes of playground love, Gang.

 

Stay Trashy!

-Root

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

22
Jun
16

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!& Supervixens: A Trash Cinema Night Double D Double Feature!

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WHO: The Trash Cinema Collective
WHAT: A Double D Double Feature honoring the glorious work of Trash Cinema Legend, Russ Meyer! Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! followed by Supervixens!
WHEN: Monday July 18th at 7:30pm (EST)
WHERE: The Junction at Monroe
WHY: Because it’s the middle of another Florida summer, and there are few things hotter than these two titans of trash cinema!
 
$5 cover
DO NOT BRING YOUR OWN BOOZE!
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Hey Gang, The Primal Root here, and I am so damn proud to be inviting you out to this most bodacious, bosomy, B-Movie Double Feature! It’s been a long time coming, and this July, in the middle of our yearly North Florida heat wave, the hottest place to be Monday July 18th will be in the darkened theater at The Junction at Monroe as The Trash Cinema Collective presents two timeless trash cinema cult classics by “The Rural Fellini”, legendary dirty picture maker, Russ Meyer!
 
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965) – Three sadistic go-go dancers, Varla (Tura Satana), Rosie (Haji), and Billie (Lori Williams) take some time off from the nightclub where they perform and head to the desert for some drag racing and general mayhem. Before you know it, Varla, a karate expert, has killed some guy out in the desert and takes his bikini clad girlfriend hostage all while they start scamming to swindle the hidden fortune from under a crooked, lecherous old man and his super buff, super dumb son.
 
Supervixens (1975) – Clint Ramsey must go on the run after the brutal murder of his wife at the hands of a psychotic police officer by the name of Harry Sledge. As Clint crosses the country on the run from johnny law, he comes across and is sexually harassed and/or molested by various voluptuous nymphomaniacs before ending up at Supervixen’s Oasis Motel and Roadside Diner, where he he meets a woman who has always owned his heart and must face off against the deranged and violent Harry Sledge in a climax more explosive than you could possibly imagine!
 
Gang, I could not recommend you come out and join us more for an evening’s entertainment you will not get anywhere else. Shake those Monday blues right out of your pants or panties as you sit back with a bottle of your favorite ice cold adult beverage, a bucket of fresh popped popcorn and feast your eyes on a parade of bountiful, glorious vixens served up from the lusty table of Russ Meyer! I’ll see you there, Gang!
 
Stay Trashy!
-Root
14
Jun
16

Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger Part IV: A Trash Cinema Event!

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WHO: The Trash Cinema Collective
WHAT: a screening of Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV
WHEN: Saturday July 2nd at 9pm!
WHERE: Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack
WHY: Because I can think of no better way to celebrate Independence Day Weekend than partying with The Toxic Avenger, Tallahassee RollerGirls, and The Trash Cinema Collective!
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As Always: NO VOCER! (that’s cheap!)
 
Hey Gang, The Primal Root here, and as you know The 4th of July holiday weekend is drawing near. Time to celebrate everything that makes these united states of ours so wonderful. Liberty, justice and most of all Freedom. Freedom of choice, freedom of expression, freedom to watch movies where incredibly touchy subjects are fodder for gratuitous lowbrow humor, graphic cheesy violence and politically incorrect abandon.
 
THAT’S RIGHT! The Trash Cinema Collective is celebrating Independence Day with Tromaville’s favrotie hideously deformed creature of super human size and strength, THE TOXIC AVENGER as he faces off against the greatest enemy he’s ever faced, HIMSELF in 2000’s Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV!
 
The Toxic Avenger battles a terrorist organization which labels itself “The Diaper Mafia” as they take a school for mentally handicapped children hostage on Tuna Taco Tuesday! The resulting explosion rips open a portal between the peace loving Tromaville and the debased terror that is it’s opposite dimension, Amortville! Toxie ends up in Amortville where he must square off against horrendous evil versions of his former colleagues like Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.and Mad Cowboy as he works to find his way back to Tromaville and stop the evil version of himself, The Noxious Avenger, from molesting his wife, Sarah and destroying the very fabric of Tromaville. It’s a gore drenched battle to the death as Toxie and Noxie must battle to the bitter end!
 
So prepare yourselves for gratuitous violence, gratuitous nudity, and none stop brutal political incorrectness, from school shootings, to abortions, hate crimes to sucking cheddar cheese from between a fat guys toes…It’s a FUCKING TROMA MOVIE! So, come on out to Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack, sink your teeth into the best damn burger in town, wash it down with a ice cold pitcher of your favorite adult beverage and prepare yourself for a hot load of what makes America great! It’s Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV! I’ll see you there, Gang!
 
Stay Trashy!
-Root
11
May
16

Basket Case & Brain Damage: A Deep Cult at The Junction Double Feature!

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WHO: The Trash Cinema Collective
WHAT: A Double Feature screening of Basket Case (film) and Brain Damage!
WHEN: Monday May 23rd at 7:30pm
WHERE: The Junction at Monroe
WHY: Because you need a slice of sleaze to start your week.
 
$5 Cover
BYOB
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Hey Gang, The Primal Root here, inviting YOU to start your week out on the trashiest note possible as we celebrate the work of grindhouse prodigy and life long purveyor of fine cinematic filth, Mr. Frank Henenlotter with a double feature of Basket Case followed by Brain Damage!
 
Basket Case (1982): What is the secret Duane has hiding in his basket? As young Duane visits New York City and it’s sleaziest dives, whatever lurks within his locked basket is maiming, molesting, and murdering people throughout the inner city. What is the secret behind this bloody rampage of horror splattering the darkest corners of the city in blood and entrails? Come out to our special screening of Basket Case and find out…If you dare.
 
Brain Damage (1988): One morning, Brian, a young mn living with his brother wakes up to find a talking, singing, disgusting parasite has attached itself to his brain stem. Through Brian’s brain stem, this parasite who goes by the name Aylmer, puts Brian in a euphoric state of happiness…but as we all know, such bliss often comes at a terrifyingly high price. Find out just how that cost is in Frank Henenlotter’s Brain Damage, the Requiem for a Dream of Trash Cinema…
 
So, come on out and join us for Trash Cinema Night’s Deep Cult at The Junction for a double feature of grotesque creativity, gnarly violence and deeply dark humor! Get some delicious booze to share and prepare for an evening;s filth like none other!
 
See you there, Gang!
Stay Trash!
-Root
03
Apr
16

John Waters Turns 70! A Trash Cinema Deep Cult Double Feature at The Junction

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WHAT: A Deep Cult Double Feature of John Waters’ classics, Pink Flamingos followed by Desperate Living!
WHEN: Monday April 25th at 7:30pm (EST)
WHERE: The Junction at Monroe
WHY: Because legendary Trash Cinema filmmaker turns John Waters 70 years old April 22nd. It only makes sense that we should celebrate.

$5 Cover
BYOB

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Hey Gang, The Primal Root here, and I am just so goddamn thrilled to announce our Deep Cult John Waters Turns 70 Double Feature I can hardly stand it! One night only, we will be watching John’s legendary exercise in bad taste, the cult classic, Pink Flamingos starring the the most beautiful leading lady the cinematic universe has ever known, the late Divine along with Mink Stole and Edith Massey. We’ll be following up this nauseating nugget of trash with another brilliantly gortesque and highly underrated entry in John Waters’ catalog, Desperate Living! Starring Water’s regularsMink Stole, Edith Massey and sex goddess Liz Renay, the first woman to ever perform a mother and daughter strip show AND the first grandmother to ever streak down Hollywood Boulevard.

I don’t want to say too much about these movies here, as I don;t want to spoil any gag inducing surprises. However, I will tell you this, the early works of John Waters are not for the faint hearted or easily offended. You will see things die, you will see male and female genitals and people devouring incredibly unsavory things. These movies are made to make you laugh, to shake you up, to repulse you by going to extreme places you never, ever imagined a filmmaker would take you. These films are beyond Trash, beyond filth, beyond anything you ever thought you’d experience in a darkened movie theater. What I am trying to say is that these films are the greatest kind of art.

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So, I invite you to come out and celebrate the 70th birthday of the remarkable, the perverse, the brilliant Mr. John Waters with the rest of The Trash Cinema Collective@ This will be an evening of cinematic vulgarity you will never forget as long as you! Come on, Gang, Let’s Get Trashy!

-Root

19
Mar
16

Pieces: A Trash Cinema Nights FIVE YEAR Anniversary Event!

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WHO: The Trash Cinema Collective
WHAT: A Special 5 Year Anniversary screening of Pieces (1982)
WHEN: Saturday April 2nd at starting at 9pm
WHERE: Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack
WHY: Because 5 Years of keeping Tallahassee Trashy deserves a fitting shindog!

As Always, NO COVER!
MATURE CONTENT 18+ ONLY

Hey Gang, The Primal Root here and I am honored to be inviting you toTrash Cinema Nights at Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack 5 Year Anniversary Shindig! That’s right, The Primal Root and The Trash Cinema Collective have been keeping Tallahassee Trashy for FIVE FILTHY YEARS! It only stands to reason that we should throw a down and dirty shindig to show our appreciation and support for all those years of blood, breasts and beasts at Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack!

And what better way to celebrate than with on of mine, The Primal Root’s, all time FAVORITE Trash Cinema Flicks and his hands down favorite slasher film, 1982’s legendary exploitation, splatter flick, Pieces!

A demented killer chainsaw wielding maniac is loose on campus! He’s cutting to ribbons all the coeds and stealing specific body parts from each of his victims…Who is this blood thirsty man about campus? What could he be doing with their snatched body parts? It is up to a team of local investigators (Christopher George and Frank Brana), a young student/stud named Kendall (Ian Sera of Pod People fame) and a sexy undercover tennis pro, Mary Riggs (Lynda Day George) to plunder the darkest, blood drenched depths of this hunting ground so that they can apprehend this psycho killer before he strikes again!

Filled with horrendous dialog, strange acting decisions and PLENTY of graphic/goofy gore and gratuitous nudity (Ian Sera even hangs dong!) Pieces is a truly unbeatable slice of Trash Cinema slasher nastiness.

So, come on out and join your friends from The Trash Cinema Collective atBird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack and sink your teeth into the BEST damn burger in town, wash it down with a pitcher of your favorite adult beverage and prepare for an evening of chainsaw carnage, skinny dipping, stoners talking about fucking on waterbeds, unexplained teenage skulls, Wendy’s burgers and fries, pants pissing, awkward skateboarding, random kung-fu, red herrings a plenty, several climaxes, and so many gut churning death scenes and naked breasts, you;ll think you’ve died and ascended to Trash Cinema Heaven…or is that descended? EITHER WAY! Come out and celebrate 5 Fun and Filthy Years of Trash Cinema Nights at Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack! Just think, one day you’ll be able to tell illegitimate love children that you were there!

I can’t wait to see you there!

Stay Trashy

-Root




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