Just when I thought I was out, Freddy pulled me right back in to sit through and review the goofiest and least frightening film in his entire repertoire. It also happens to be the poor guys original swan song. That’s right, we’re taking a look at 1991′s laugh a minute Freddy send off, Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare.
Get ready for easily solved mysteries! Billy Zane’s sister! No male ass (Check my Nightmare 2 review if you don’t get it)! Post toastie crushing! Quippy one liners that undercut the horror in every scene! Breckin Meyer! Murdering handicapped minorities! A 976-EVIL reference! Adorable Dream Demons! Freddy once again manipulating reality and playing outside the Nightmare on Elm Street rule book! Evil parents! Lame B-List celebrity cameos! Iron Butterfly! Breckin Meyer: The Video Game! Gerbil crushing! Alice Cooper the foster father! Fucking Rainbows! That’s My Freddy! and SO MUCH MORE!
Check out this, the second half of our trip down Elm Street’s side street, Memory Lane.
Do you really think…Freddy’s Dead?
Stay Trashy!
-The Primal Root
Just Click on the poster below to watch our latest Rotten Review!
I’ve been recently experiencing terrible nightmares every night for the past couple of weeks. They all involve dream demon Freddy Krueger attacking me in incredibly vulnerable situations. Usually with me picking something up and not having pants on.
Perhaps there are some clues to be found in Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge! The notoriously homo erotic follow up to Wes Craven’s original masterpiece. We will discuss both the underlying sexual meaning and imagery in the film as well as mercilessly riffing on it. Get ready for exploding birds, extreme gym shower towel snapping, phallic anacondas, sweaty ball sack adjustments, seedy gay S&M joints, Bob Shaye in a leather tank top, a fuckable version of Meryl Streep, caramel filled killers, off road mayhem, Clu Gulager, human faced dogs, more gay subtext than you can shake a suggestively shaped stick at and al kinds of Freddy Krueger part fouls.
Check out The Primal Root’s Rotten Reviews presents A Nightmare on Elm Street part 2: Freddy’s Revenge and let me know what you think!
your pal,
-The Primal Root
Simply click on the poster below to view the latest video review!
It’s easy to forget Wes Craven’s original 1984 masterpiece, A Nightmare on Elm Street. The horror audiences experienced when the lights first dimmed in theaters all those years ago and were introduced to a new boogieman. The ghost of child murderer. A man burned alive by one generation whose children’s lives, their futures, are now in danger due to their actions. Wes Craven created a classic horror film. One that holds up just as well today as it did in the 80′s. But more importantly, like Romero’s Night of the Living Dead or Hooper’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, A Nightmare on Elm Street is a product of it’s time encompasses the Reagan Era, post Vietnam/Cold War generation. The notion that those horrible deeds done by a generation before us will be payed for by the blood of those being born. We are inheriting new life as well as paying for the misdeeds of those fading away.
Yes, it’s easy to forget what A Nightmare on Elm street represents. In the wake of the film’s success came the assembly line of sequels incapable of holding a flickering candle to the original Nightmare. Freddy became a cartoon character rather than the boogieman and in the process diminished any form of fear the audience may have carried for the child killer. The series became less about character and more about spectacle. Less about scare and more about effects. And the genesis of A Nightmare on Elm Street, the whole purpose of the original, became more diluted and washed away…
Now, on the eve of the A Nightmare on Elm Street relaunch I feel is the perfect time to take a look back at one of cinema’s most influential and groundbreaking films. Wes Craven’s A Nightmare on Elm Street.
The Original Nightmare Kids : From left: Rod, Tina, Glen and Nancy
Our film begins with Tina, an attractive teenage girl, running through a dark and steamy labyrinth of pipes and metal. Running from something stalking her in the shadows. A horribly scarred and disfigured man in a red and green striped sweater and equipped with a glove with blades fastened to the tip of each finger. This is Freddy’s boiler room. A place representative of all the things our society tries to cover up and forget about.The subterranean. Freddy closes in for the kill as Tina screams in terror and jolts up in her bed…it was all a nightmare. But the four slices down the front of her nightgown are far from a fantasy. There’s something terribly wrong on Elm Street.
The very next morning as Tina and her friends Nancy, Glen and Rod head to school it is implied that they are all suffering from the same unsettling dreams. All the teens try to shrug it off until the night Tina is brutally, mercilessly butchered during a sleep over. The murder takes place before her boyfriend Rod’s eyes only he cannot see her attacker and is incapable of helping. And Tina’s bloody, mid-air death might be the best in the series. Her death scene is ferocious and disturbing and taken in from the perspective of the fully awake and helpless Rod the audience can clearly imagine how deeply mortifying this moment is.
This scene is a masterpiece in the annals of horror and sticks with the viewer long after it occurs. Unlike later Nightmare film which rely heavily on set pieces and elaborate creature effects, this sequences focuses instead on the slicing of young flesh and the spilling of warm blood. This focus on the organic, the human makes the phantasmal seem real as well as the consequences. And Craven stays true to this concept throughout A Nightmare on Elm Street and it proves to be one of the pictures greatest strengths.
Craven uses the mix of the organic and the phantasmal with an arsenal of trick shots to find unique and twisted ways to unsettle the audience, keeping them on edge. Like the diabolical murder of Glenn where a spinning room is employed and gallons of fake blood are pumped up through his mattress creating an enormous geyser of blood. As presented to the audience the bed is on the floor and the blood comes up out of the mattress with incredible force. The affect of this clever, simple idea is instant and unforgettable. It’s a shot that clearly expresses the rage and pure violence backing Krueger’s attack. He annihilates Glenn with such power that the guy comes squirting from his bed as if he was put in a giant blender set to puree.
Glen once Freddy's done with him.
But this nightmare violence would mean nothing without Craven’s intelligent and strong characterizations. One would do A Nightmare on Elm Street a great disservice if they didn’t bring up Heather Langenkamp’s portrayal of our young final girl, Nancy. A child of divorce who must cope with her alcoholic mother and an absent father. Nancy already has been acquainted with the dark underbelly of Elm Street. Of our American dream. And through her experiences in waking life she is equipped to connect the pieces between both her dreams and reality. Heather brings Nancy to life as an independent, strong, resourceful and incredibly intelligent young woman and is one of the finest , most enduring examples of slasher cinema’s final girl.
It’s also interesting to note Craven’s depiction of the family unit here. Early on the first adult we are introduced to is Tina’s mother who awakens Tina from a night terror only to scold her. She is then interrupted by an obviously drunk boyfriend who asks, “Are you coming back to the sack or what?” Later, through dialog between the teens characters, we learn Tina’s father abandoned the family a decade prior. Nancy’s father, Don, a police detective in Springwood, is comparatively absent from her life. He is patronizing and debasing towards her when she asks for his help but is quick to exploit her as bait when it helps his investigation. Nancy’s mother, Marge, is a sickeningly dependent alcoholic who hides bottles of booze all over the house, including the linen closet in the off chance she might need to swig her feel good juice while she’s walking from her bedroom to Nancy’s.
Not to mention both of Nancy’s parents, like all the Elm Street parents, are murderers. They are among the parents who took justice into their own hands and killed Fred Krueger when the judicial system failed. Their guilt, their sin, are all passed on to their children in the form of the demonic and purely evil Krueger. Thus, A Nightmare on Elm Street literalizes the notion that the sins of the father are passed on to the children. We will pay in blood and treasure for the misdeeds of those who came before us.
A Nightmare on Elm Street is one of the most important films of the last fifty years. A wellspring of creativity and ideas which maintain great currency within the genre. It gave American culture it’s most identifiable boogieman in the form of Freddy Krueger. Although, in this original Nightmare Freddy had yet to become the fun, silly M.C. he would transform into over the course of the franchise. Instead, he is a real monster, a mean spirited creep who enjoys torturing, molesting, and killing children. He’s a sadist who delights in inflecting pain on others with a wrath that is inescapable. Maybe that’s one of the things that’s so damn scary about Freddy in A Nightmare on Elm Street. That through supernatural means Freddy, a murdered child killer, has gained almost infinite powers to haunt us forever and murdering us in our most intimate and private of places…our minds. And there’s no escape. Because sooner or later we all must fall asleep. So Freddy isn’t only eternal…he’s unavoidable.
The mantra throughout A Nightmare on Elm Street is “Don’t fall asleep.” This is Nancy’s urgent warning and her battle cry. In the context of A Nightmare on Elm Street this line means much more than simply avoiding a confrontation with our razor gloved antagonist. It’s warning us not to be lulled into a false sense of security. To dig out the truth, to question authority, to fight corruption, lies and complacency. Do not give in, do not give up and…
Bobby just flunked his French Final, but it’s cool, his daddy just hired him a tutor to teach him the ropes about life, language and pure sexual gratification.
In our first episode of our second year we’re taking a look at 1983′s My Tutor, one of the best teen sex comedies / coming of age films ever made. Featuring Caren Kaye, Olivia Newton John’s ex-husband, and a very young Crispin Hellion Glover in a ground breaking, unintentionally creepy performance.
So let’s get our Trash Cinema text books ready and enjoy the extra curricular sleaze that is, My Tutor.
Your pal,
-The Primal Root
Just click on the poster below to watch the latest Rotten Review!
The first time I laid my black devil eyes on the trailer for the uproariously trashy looking apocalypse at the hands of God and his badass army of angels flick, Legion, you couldn’t have wiped my grin away with a belt sander. It comes across as the kind of bizarre scenario that would have played out in my backyard between my G.I. Joe action figures on a random Saturday afternoon when I was still in short pants. God decides he’s lost faith in humanity and it’s time to wipe them out so he sends in his angel ass kicker dream team to stomp the shit out of us till there’s nothing left. It’s really a ridiculous premise but an interesting one none the less. One of those throw away brain fart ideas that come up from time to time when you’re starring at the ceiling at night or taking a whiz. Not profound, but kind of nifty. Lucky us, someone took our mind dropping and turned it into a feature length motion picture!
too subtle?
Legion concerns the epic battle between grease caked country bumpkins and the horrific evil minions of…God…yeah, the once benevolent and subtle spirit of God is now creating plagues of demons from Hell to try and kill off humanities’ one and only hope for survival. A foul mouthed, chain smoking pregnant woman with a distracting mole on her forehead named Charlie (Adrianne Palicki from Supernatural) is carrying the baby that is going to be our savior. A rebel angel named Michael (Paul Bettany) drops into to inform everyone of this fact. Yeah, you remember, Michael. He was played so memorably by John Travolta a decade or so ago…
Michael before the NRA entered his life.
Anyway, Michael has driven out into the desert and into a quaint little greasy spoon diner/gas station owned by a sweaty grizzled guy named Bob (Dennis Quaid) where Charlie happens to be working. He arrives just after an elderly woman has gone completely ape shit, bitten a guys throat out and climbed across the ceiling like a caucasion Lionel Ritchie from Hell. Michael arrives in a stolen cop car and loaded to the teeth with semi automatic fire power to blow the shit out of God’s demon spawn and angel army as they descend down upon the face palmingly appropriately named locale, Paradise Falls. Those in the diner are informed of their pants shittingly bad situation and are told they must choose to fight or die asking questions.
Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen.
There’s a good assortment of supporting characters caught in the middle of the action, some of whom are a thousand times more interesting than our key players. Ultimate badass Charles S. Dutton plays cook and Vietnam veteran Percy Walker and pretty much steals the show. The character of Percy is infinitely likable so you know his screen time has gotta be limited. Even the typically lame as can be Tyrese Gibson (yeah, the guy from 2 Fast 2 Furious) turns in a subtle and winning performance as a man whose virtues prove to be his undoing.
Evil Granny: Sucking Face and Taking Names
There’s the obligatory three piece yuppie family unit featuring the bitchy Mom, wise cracking Dad (yeah, the guy who gets his ass handed to him by an evil senior citizen) and the attention seeking, ass revealing teenage daughter. Oh yeah, and Bob’s son Jeep, who is supposed to be one of the stars of this film but Lucas Black turns in such a deer-in-the-headlights performance that you never ever really care about him.
What I really enjoyed about Legion is that I never felt like the filmmakers took this whole God’s personal vendetta concept too seriously. They seem intelligent enough that they realized Legion was in the vein of the good old fashioned drive-in trash flick, albeit, one of a much higher budget and sleeker appearance. I’m not saying this is a great flick. But it’s sure as Hell a fun bag full of horror infused gory shoot outs, monstrous ice cream truck drivers (played by none other than Doug Jones) explosions, angel-fu, acid filled exploding body boils, little tiny adolescent demon girls carrying balloons, a half dozen teary eyed duet scenes for young actors, the movie is packed with all kinds of trashy, low brow win. It’s like Maximum Overdrive meets Assault on Precinct 13 meets the 700 Club on acid. Seriously, it’s just as fun as it sounds. Well, despite there being no nudity at all. You will be entertained. I do recommend some spirits of the liquid form in advance of seeing the movie to enhance the affects.
Doug Jones as Ice Cream Guy steals the movie with only 60 seconds of screen time and not a single line of dialog.
It’s always fun to see someone take a dodgy approach to something considered sacred by many. In the case of Legion, it’s cool to see the whole word of God thing given a complete filth covered trash make over. Really, has God ever been portrayed as such a bitch? I mean, other than in real life? I’m so used to seeing him played by Morgan Freeman and Alanis Morissette or offering up wisdom like on The Simpsons. Never have I seen God get his panties in a wad over the assholishness of man that he sent an entire extermination squad of demons and angels. You’d think he would have seen the travesties committed against the natives of this country in his name and would have put a stop to the humanity thing a long time ago.
God’s back with a vengeance in Legion and this time it seems personal. However, thanks to the second amendment and the work of the NRA, humanity stands a fighting chance. Well, at least at a white trash diner in the United States. Remember, if you are about to get touched by an angel…AIM FOR THE HEAD!
Stay Trashy,
-The Primal Root
Adrianne Palicki plays Charlie in the new film Legion.
Maybe there is a fourth kind of Trash Cinema. One that is born of imagination and is so far outside the norm it leaves both audiences and critics completley dumbfounded. A type of Trash that’s so imaginative and introverted no one knows quite what to make of it. Films born of trash and bound for glorious cult status. David Lycnh’s Eraserhead certainly meets this criteria.
As an avidly devoted fan of all things David Lynch one question I always run into is “Why?” followed almost instantly by the blanket phrase “I don’t get his stuff.” To which I look them dead in the eye and say “What is there to get?” Why must you always be blatantly given something by a film? The one thing I feel all fans of Lynch’s work have in common is a deep abiding love for mysteries and the simple and obvious concept that, hey, maybe there are no easy answers? No quick solutions? No pretty package wrapped up and ready to be presented to you upon completion. It’s one of the more frightening conceits that maybe…just maybe…we’ll never know the answers.
Recently I was asked about one of David Lynch’s most heralded works and possibly one of his hardest for viewers to grasp. Eraserhead. Coincidentally, this happens to be my favorite of Lynch’s work and one of my favorite films ever made. Why is there so much love for this film? Why are certain people in our society completely bat-shit crazy about this strange little fever dream of a picture? Well, fellow Trash Collectors, I’m going to try my damnedest to express my personal admiration and deep abiding nerd love for this most legendary of midnight movie cultism.
And no it’s not about just “I get it and you don’t.” That’s all bullshit if you ask me. It runs far deeper than this simple declarative statement.
David Lynch’s debut feature film, 1976′s Eraserhead, is like a living nightmare. It is surreal but there are undeniable human truths and emotions there. Dread, pain, abandonment, longing. But that there is also hope and there is love to be found. As the song says, “In Heaven everything is fine.”
But like all dreams, nightmares, and art, their meaning must be interpreted by those experiencing it. The intent of the artist no longer matters. Eraserhead to me is one of the most honest and disturbing depictions of masculinity and the fear of fatherhood ever put to film. About the insecurities we must mask, the emotions we must bottle up, the dreams we must abandon, and the people whom we are that must be repress in order to get by in society. And the desperate hope that maybe, just maybe, there is light at the end of a very dark tunnel. It encompasses all my fears as an adult male. That I am not good enough. That I will fail at business, life, love and be left behind. It’s the darkest fears lying dormant but always weighing heavy on a subconscious level.
But see, my reason for loving and appreciating Eraserhead, and my interpretation don’t mean anything! Lynch created a totally subjective piece of art! My reason for loving it is a million miles away from why this guy or that girl love it. And some people just can’t stand it and that’s absolutely fine as well and completely understandable. But for a group of us Eraserhead struck a chord and there is something distinctly human there. Something warm and indescribable. Hidden in our deepest, darkest, places . Rather than give us answers Eraserhead boldly suggests that we find or make our own. That in life there are no easy answers to these mysteries so much greater than ourselves. That it’s up to us to find our own.
Stay Trashy,
-The Primal Root
In Heaven Everything is Fine. You Got Your Good Thing and I've Got Mine.
You know, there’s no clear definition for what Trash Cinema is exactly. It’s always in the eye of the beholder. To me, Trash Cinema can be one of three things. 1) A movie that is so astonishingly bad it ascends to a level of extreme enjoyment on the viewers behalf. (ex. Troll 2, Samurai Cop, Malibu High, etc.) 2) A high budget, high concept film whose final product ends up being a complete piece of shit that’s laughably bad and fun to watch (ex. Queen of the Damned, Highlander 2, Twilight, etc.) and then there’s Trash Cinema of the Third Kind. The films made with a micro budget, and exploitative, politically incorrect, rude, crude, filled to the brim with blood, breasts and beasts. Films that refuse to censor their fucked up visions and provides those of us with hearts of garbage all the uncivilized and depraved kicks we so deeply crave . This third kind of Trash Cinema has become scarce. Especially at your neutered, spineless local googaplex which offers us nothing but mindless, million dollar, brain meltingly useless pop culture turd smears which do nothing more than recycle the same old shit whether it’s a remake of a beloved franchise or an adaptation of a Hasbro toy line.
Lucky for us, there are sickos still out there cranking out the over the top Trash Cinema Gold despite there being not a single chance in Hell of their work ever being played in a theater next to one showing the latest High School Musical installment. Honestly, this is like a badge of honor. True Trash Cinema Legends such as Herschell Gordon Lewis, Lloyd Kaufman, & Russ Meyer (among countless others) have always operated and created their own distinct brands of Trash Cinema far outside the pop culture mainstream all the while influencing and mutating that same pop culture it from the outside in. These true legends of Trash changed the game forever and they did it without shame, without compromise and without apology. In their wake they have created generation after generation of sick sleaze hounds like myself admiring and craving all things nasty and loathsome. We’ve begun to take matters into our own hands and have begun creating the films that lovingly take us back to the filthy, warped movies that shaped our young lives.
Which brings us to Black Devil Doll. An off the wall, shoe string budget horror, exploitation, comedy bastard amalgam paying homage to an era when filmmakers knew just how fucked up their audience was and were eager to deliver the goods and splatter the results all over the screen. Ah, the good old days.
Written and produced by the loveable visionary behind Brawlin’ Broads Mitch Mayes (http://brawlinbroads.com/main.htm) and Shawn Lewis, the man behind Rotten Cotton (http://www.rottencotton.com/) Black Devil Doll has been hyped for what feels like forever in horror rags, conventions and message boards. Believe it or not the film was produced back in 2007 and gradually gained cult status through a steady does of midnight screenings and festival showings over the years.
Now the wait is finally over for us Trash Collectors because Black Devil Doll is now out on DVD for all of us to watch and marvel at. It’s being sold as a killer black puppet movie chock full of freakishly ample bare breasts, but in all actuality it’s a story of a lonely, young woman with a gigantic rack and the love she has for a mass-murdering, rape happy ventriloquist’s dummy she is foolish enough to fall in love with. This flick’s a heart breaker.
Ah, young love.
Our movie begins with the execution of a 60′s era black power revolutionary, Mubia Abul-Jama, for the rape and murder of 15 white women. He is strapped into he electric chair, a salad bowl is placed on his head, he utters his final words, “I like to eat white butt!” and is deep fried into the after life. Meanwhile, a voluptuous bored young woman by the name of Heather (Heather Murphy) decides to waste some time on the Ouija board, and wouldn’t you know it, she manages to summon the spirit of the recently executed Mubia who shoots out of the Ouija board and into a Ventriloquist dummy that happens to be chilling on the couch. Mubia’s spirit is so strong he turn the dummy black, grows it an enourmous afro, whale sized dick and even changes the dummies clothes!
BDD-Possess
►
Heather isn’t too freaked out by this turn of events and over the course of a casual conversation with the now possessed Black Devil Doll Heather ends up seduced and falling hopelessly in love with the guy. Before you know it Mubia has his wooden head plopped between Heather’s legs and proclaiming such pillow talk as “Damn, baby, this some tasty ass pussy! Reminds me of my Momma’s fried chicken!” Such a sweet talker, how could she resist falling in love?
Black Devil Doll & Heather have a heart to heart.
Not long after the Black Devil Doll and Heather become an item BDD breaks it to Heather than he can’t be happy with just one woman. Like a dog he must piss in another person’s yard from time to time. He asks Heather if she can “dig it” and she nods her head in approval as tears stream down her face. Heather agrees to invite over her girlfriends, get them liquored up and let the Black Devil Doll have his way with them while she makes herself scarce. Where will she go? “McDonald’s os some shit!” Black Devil Doll suggests.
Heather's pals hard at work washing their car.
Heather’s friends show up with a case of wine coolers and spend about five minutes worth of running time washing their car in Heather’s driveway immediately upon arrival as Black Devil Doll watches from inside. One of them even buffs the front windshield with her boobs proving silicone has the same affect as Rain-X.
Boobs. For that streak free shine every time.
Once their car is nice and sparkling clean and the Black Devil Doll has jizzed all over the living room window the girls all huddle inside making squeaky noises and showing off their tits (many of which are of the disturbingly fake variety) before playing a dull game of Twister. Black Devil Doll signals Heather to get the fuck out of there. Once Heather departs the remaining girls decide to bathe themselves or go topless sunbathing out in the back yard. This gives Black Devil Doll plenty of opportunities to go murder and rape some “white bitches.”
Killing off some "White Bitches."
And he sure enough does. He bashes some heads in with a baseball bat, slits a throat, electrocutes another, etc. The violence is Blood Feast, 2,000 Maniacs level crud which adds to the cartoonish zaniness on hand. As graphic as it all is it’s so over the top and crappily staged you end up simply giggling at the goofiness of it all.
Heather filled with rage and Big Macs!
Heather comes home to find all her friends naked, raped, and butchered on the Twister tarp. Heather is understandably pissed off by this. Black Devil Doll tries to sweet talk her but this time he’s gone too far! Heather rips open her shirt in a frenzy, grabs her roscoe and unloads a thousand round clip into the puppet she loved.
Hell hath no fury...
In a movie like Black Devil Doll there’s no real subtext or any need to look further into what’s one screen. It’s simple exploitative sleaze. And it’s incredibly juvenile at that. Many of the piss, shit and cum gags are more face palmingly stupid than shocking or outrageous. These are the kind of ideas you and your friends came up with in high school when you were drinking a case of beer and watching a marathon of Troma movies on your old beat up VCR. There’s nothing ground breaking to be found in Black Devil Doll but what can be found here is a whole lot of stupid, disgusting, 6th grade level fun. This is a bad, bad, trashy film but it’s not trying to be anything else. And with a title like Black Devil Doll you know EXACTLY what you’re getting yourself into.
Black Devil Doll endorses Salad Tossing.
Where the movie excels is in the post production department. This movie could easily have been just slapped together as an assembly of just one scene right after another but instead editors Jonathan Lewis and John Osteen managed to add some great visual touches including split screens, collages, and some very cool transitions to make this film look like it cost far more than it actually did. Their editing skills added a lot of style and, dare I say, class to the nasty proceedings. It looks like it could actually be a lost piece of 70′s era grindhouse cinema.
Black Devil Doll carries on the fine Trash Cinema tradition of bingeing on a constant flow of bizarre films, digesting it all, and purging the mixture of all the influences that stuck with you into a glorious piece of cinema that pays homage to the glorious days of 42nd Street sleaze and Drive-In exploitation grandiose. It’s a love letter to a long lost era of fun, terrible films that were made for those of us with our minds firmly stuck in the gutter. Black Devil Doll lives at the very bottom of the dumpster licking up all the rancid drippings and residue left behind by it’s fore fathers of Trash Cinema. And I cannot thank them enough for sticking to their guns and delivering the grotesque goods.
For Turkey Day 2009 I figured what better way to celebrate here at The Trash Cinema Collective than with the 1972 Anti-Drug, Pro-Christian, Mutant Killer Turkey film…Blood Freak!
That’s right, hold onto Plymouth Rock and prepare yourself for horrendous audio, unintelligible mumbling, bio-hazardous turkey meat, real life turkey decapitation, bible thumpers in red hot pants, sibling rivalry, turkey poking, mutant sex, cock blockage, a God live ever present narrator, the complimentary use of the term “husky”, real life amputees, lots of screaming, copious blood squirting, and poultry rage!
This episode wouldn’t have been possible without the indispensable help of Team Trash Cinema: Erica Andrus, Justin Falco and Terrius Greene whose performances bring this Thanksgiving Holiday Special to life. Thanks again, gang!
Hey Gang, Well, the big day is almost here and just in time for Halloween we have our second Halloween Special Rotten Review!
In this installment we are taking a look at a pretty notoriously bad piece of Halloween Trash Cinema. I’s the fifth film in the beleaguer Halloween franchise. That’s right, we’re taking a look at Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers.
Prepare yourself for obnoxious overacting middle aged teenyboppers, insane child therapists, shacks that time forgot, grizzled pirates, the bogeyman floating the Illinois rapids, young children getting run over, adults abandoning troubled children to PAR-TAY, the most painful condom in history, sex with pants on, cowboys from hell, and slightly homo-erotic doctor/patient death scene.
John Carpenter redefined not only horror, but the culture of Halloween in America back in 1978 with the release of Halloween. And man, they’ve been trying to destroy what he created ever since. With the ill conceived 5th entry Switzerland born filmmaker Dominique Othenin-Girard managed to kill off the franchise once again for about 5 years.
Join The Primal Root as he explores one of the worst sequels to any franchise ever made and get into the Halloween spirit! Trust me, we manage to turn this nastiest of tricks into quite a treat.
Stay Trashy!
-Kevin
(The Primal Root)
Just Click on the Halloween 5 poster below to play.
Being a huge fan of the Halloween season I decided to go ahead and make TWO episodes in celebration. In this first part we are examining the 1995 Florida made micro-budget Halloween horror opus, Jack-O.
The flick features copious barren suburban landscapes, a hilariously bad child actor, killer toasters, witch persecution, evil conservative stereotypes, a tragically lame haunted garage, tons of gratuitous nudity and one towering, scythe wielding, pumpkin headed demon from hell who goes by the name of Jack-O!
Jack-O is a wild, fun, unintentionally hilarious little flick. So kick back, pour yourself some apple cider and let’s take a look at a truly glorious piece of our Trash Cinema Heritage.
Stay Trashy,
-Kevin
(The Primal Root)
Simply click on the poster below to watch the review…
Primal Root’s Rotten Reviews presents Blood Freak
Tags: 1972, 70's, bad, blood, boobs, breasts, cinema, cole, collective, comedy, commentary, creature, death, drugs, exploitation, Florida, freak, fun, Gore, horror, Kevin, marijuana, meat, Monster, movie, murder, mutant, naked, pot, primal, review, Root, rotten, sex, skit, stoner, stoners, Tallahassee, Thanksgiving, tits, topless nude, Trash, Turkey, video 21, violence
Hey Gang,
For Turkey Day 2009 I figured what better way to celebrate here at The Trash Cinema Collective than with the 1972 Anti-Drug, Pro-Christian, Mutant Killer Turkey film…Blood Freak!
That’s right, hold onto Plymouth Rock and prepare yourself for horrendous audio, unintelligible mumbling, bio-hazardous turkey meat, real life turkey decapitation, bible thumpers in red hot pants, sibling rivalry, turkey poking, mutant sex, cock blockage, a God live ever present narrator, the complimentary use of the term “husky”, real life amputees, lots of screaming, copious blood squirting, and poultry rage!
This episode wouldn’t have been possible without the indispensable help of Team Trash Cinema: Erica Andrus, Justin Falco and Terrius Greene whose performances bring this Thanksgiving Holiday Special to life. Thanks again, gang!
Have a Happy Thanksgiving and Stay Trashy!
-The Primal Root