23
Mar
15

(NSFW) Unholy Rollers (1972) Roller Derby Apocalypse

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a Primal Root written review

One of the things I admire most about the low budget exploitation cinema of the 60’s and 70’s is that, over time, they emerge as time capsules. Better still, is these films catalog every strange trend, no matter how small a flash in the pan, or culturally insignificant. Dirt bikes, side hacking, break dancing, disco roller boogies, did these trends really last long enough to warrant a whole film based around them? Well, back in the day, if it was happening at all, it was good enough for Corman and crew to swoop down and transform it into Trash Cinema Gold.

Enter, Unholy Rollers, a film that seems to have been a cash-in on not only the recent roller derby explosion across our great land, but a cash in on the far more expensive Raquel Welch vehicle, Kansas City Bombers (1972). Unholy Rollers stars the gorgeous and feisty Playmate of the Year 1970, Ms. Claudia Jennings (Fast Company, Gator Bait)  as Karen Walker, a young woman who is sick to death of having her tits squeezed by her boss at the cat food processing plant. After one titty twister too many, Karen sabotages the assembly line, smears cat foot in her bosses face, barges in on her roommates while they’re fucking and declares she’s going into professional roller derby to earn the big bucks!

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Karen shows up at an open audition to join The L.A. Avengers and turns out to be one Hell of a skater, not only that, but team owner Mr. Stern observes early on that this chick knows a lot about showmanship. But Derby is a team sport, and Karen sure as shit is no team player. She’s spontaneous, refuses to play by the rules and manages to not only piss off the rival teams, but her fellow teammates. From the get-go, Karen and The Avengers star skater Mickey Martinez (Betty Anne Rees, from Deathmaster) butt heads. Mickey’s a fiery red headed lesbian, and when Karen rebukes Mickey’s advances, Karen ends up paying for it…with her outfit. Yeah, one night during a victory gathering at a local watering hole, Mickey and a few other Avengers end up throwing Karen onto a pool table and stripping her totally nekkid sans a pair of tiny panties. I mean, it’s about a half an hour into a movie featuring Playboy Playmate of the Year and we haven’t seen her nekkid yet, so this was fated. But this does not shake Karen, she flaunts her goods in front of the onlookers and delivers one of my favorite speeches of the movie…

“I’ve heard of ugly dykes in my life, but I never figured one would be so ugly she’d have to go through all this trouble just to get a chick to strip for her. How about you, bitch? You ever been this close to a decent looking body before? Take a good look, all of you! Because that’s ALL YOU’RE GOING TO GET IS A LOOK! But I will remember this, lover. And whenever I want a pair of big, strong arms around me…I’LL GO FIND ME A MAN!”

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In a perfect world, this would be have been Claudia Jenning’s Oscar clip. Naked, unashamed, vulgar, and brutal as Hell. Karen, we quickly come to realize, is not a very likable human being. She’s reckless and wild, which is appealing enough, but there are moments when what she’s doing isn;t exactly intelligent and are risking the lives of those around her. Like when she rides on the back of a man she’s fixing to bone’s motorcycle. She finds a revolver and begins firing indiscriminately into the busy streets of Los Angeles. Even putting the barrel of the gun to the temple of her fuck buddy. They end up at the roller rink where she ends up elbowing the man repeatedly, shoving her pointy knee into his tender testicular region and generally laying waste to the goofball all over the inclined roller derby track. I know it’s meant for laughs, but it’s like the SAW film of bad first dates. Yeah, is a slice of that pie worth all this shit? Well, it is Claudia Jennings, so probably.

Yes, the poor guy does end up tapping it and yes they do keep their skates on.

The action on the track is as staged and scripted as any pro wrestling match, but Karen doesn’t give a shit. She’s playing it hard and impromptu and the audience fucking eats it up and falls in love with Karen’s violent form of derby. During one match Mickey and Karen end up beating the shit out of one another. It’s the old star of the show versus the up and comer, and man is it a show. Mickey Martinez, however, has underestimated her opponent nd when fists, blood and teeth stop flying it’s Karen who is now Queen of the L.A. Avengers.

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Before long Karen is the star of The Avengers and is the highest paid player. It;s the good life for Karen as she stars in TV commercials, eats organic burgers, and plays putt putt golf. She even gets a tattoo of The Avengers logo above her elbow, the winged roller skate. But, as we all know, with power comes corruption. And with absolute power comes absolute corruption. Karen’s bad attitude grows along with her fame. Soon her bad temper swells to the verge of  megalomania, and in the process her life begins falling apart slowly. Her long time roommates and best friends Donna and Greg end up moving out to move to the Pacific North West to pursue their dream of opening a joint venture motorcycle mechanic shop and strip club. But Karens knows as well as the audience that Donna and Greg are leaving because Karen is no longer a part of their lives. She’s become another entity all together as she’s risen to stardom and both Donna and Greg feel as if they no longer know Karen. Now only this, but The Avengers resent Karen for bashing Mickey up so bad she’s know laid up at the hospital. The team voices their rage by jumping Karen in the parking lot and smashing the shit out of Karen’s beautifully customized Dodge Charger.  Even Mr. Stern has had enough of Karen and hires an up and coming young black derby superstar by the name of Beverly Brayton (Charlene Jones from Avenging Angel) to strike fear into Karen the way Karen once did to Mickey. Karen realizes her own unbridled lust for fame and power have lead her down this road of self destruction. But there’s enough of Karen;s old rebellious spirit left for her to reach deep down with a final righteous FUCK YOU to not just The L.A. Avengers and roller derby, but to the entire world. Karen goes out in a Hellish blaze of glory destined to become the stuff of roller derby legend.

I can’t properly put into words just how much down and dirty fun Unholy Rollers is. It holds nothing back, has a goofy sense of humor, a taste for unbridled mayhem on a massive scale, and luxuriates in it’s own bumbling execution. It’s just as genuinely funny as it is unintentionally so, which makes it a riot to check out. Leave it to Corman and the team at American International Pictures to push all the right buttons in this low rent, low brow, beautiful piece of cinematic trash. It plays like Showgirls on an inclined roller skating rink. Unholy Rollers is the real deal and a whole lot more.

Here’s to you, Claudia Jennings. You are missed. Thank you for always keeping it Trashy.

FOUR out of FIVE Dumpster Nuggets

Stay Trashy!

-Root

16
Mar
15

Ramonah; March Devil Girl of the Month 2015

Hey Gang, The Primal Root here presenting you with a Trashy St. Paddy’s Day treat from long time friend and collaborator here at The Trash Cinema Collective, Devil Girl of the Month, Ramonah. Her Boondock Saints inspired spread delivers a four leaf clover of badass along with a big pot of sexy at the end of your Trashy Rainbow! Check out the gorgeous and lethal Ramonah’s set and be sure to let her know what you think! Stay Trashy! -Root

Perry G: Welcome back, what have you been up to since last we spoke. How the hell are ya?
Ramonah: Living life, having fun. Making stuff, breaking stuff. I got this adorable pink-toe tarantula. I am feeling pretty fantastic.

PG: Tell us, what inspired this latest set?
Ramonah: The Boondock Saints films have always been close to my heart, and Connor and Murphy are sexy badasses. I thought it would be fun to give the image of the Saints a feminine twist. Turns out, that’s pretty sexy, too.

PG: How will you celebrate this St. Patties Day?
Ramonah: The same way I always celebrate it: with The Boondock Saints and booze! I’m going to throw those two films on back-to-back and drink some gin-based deliciousness. What’s that? Tuesday? What are you— No, it’s St. Patrick’s Day. What do you mean, “Tuesday”? Pfft.

PG:  What tunes should we listen to while viewing this set?
Ramonah: “Jingle Bells”. Wait, no! “The Saints are Coming.” Duh. ;-)

Youtube:

Photography by Perry Gilbert

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16
Oct
14

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) 40 Years with a Whole Family of Draculas

 

Patric Reynolds

Patric Reynolds

 

In Loving Memory of Marilyn Burns 

A Primal Root Written Review

Our experience begins in the void of darkness, we are blind to the world around us, yet we can hear the nearby sound of a shovel burrowing into the soil. The sounds of heavy breathing, exertion. Our senses are heightened alright as our minds race with the possibilities, as we are made to feel uncomfortable, trapped, anxious…And then our very first image. The visage of a thoroughly rotten, glistening, corpse that eerily resembles a batch of General Tso’s chicken, illuminated by a camera’s flashbulb, accentuated by the startling sound on the film;s soundtrack rumored to be anything from a cello to Tobe Hooper running a pitchfork down a piece of metal. Either way, in the span of mere seconds, the audience viewing The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is experiencing one thing above all else, fear.

The premise is simple. Throw a pack of kids in their late teens and early twenties into the heart of darkness, watch them die and then cheer on that one young woman who remains as she struggles for survival. We would call it cliched if it weren’t for the fact that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was the very first. To call Texas Chainsaw Massacre a milestone in horror cinema is justified. Like absolutely nothing that came before it in the film’s attempt to truly obliterate the sanity of anyone who views it, Texas Chainsaw Massacre inspired a generation of horror filmmakers and decades worth of copy cats who could never dream of coming close to Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s raw, uncompromising, power. Though many sequels and cash-in’s follows in Chainsaw’s wake, there is no other horror film like it.

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Tobe Hooper, a young filmmaker out of Texas,  was inspired by, as legend has it,  tales of serial killer Ed Gein and his penitent for digging up corpses to steal their skin and wear it as well as the man’s hobby of turning the remnants of the dead into furniture and serving dishes. Another inspiration came in the form of a holiday shopping trip to Sears. As hooper stood in the hardware aisle int he midst of the holiday shopping madness, his eyes fell upon a rack of chainsaws when the thought came to him, “I know of a way to get out of this place in a hurry!” According to Hooper, within second, the premise for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was born.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre might be the most innovative and enduring piece of cinema to come out of the hippie movement, it has become a touchstone for the end of the movement an highlighting the sick, subversive nature or our American culture and society itself. In the wake of JFK, Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr. assassinations, the failed war in Vietnam, the brutality of The Civil Rights movement and The Tate-Labianca murders, it was no wonder such a ferocious, merciless, hopeless piece of cinema was the product. Many other horror films of the era, like Romero’s Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead, Wes Craven’s Last House on the Left and Bob Clark’s Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things and Deathdream, all dealt with the frustrations, horror and disheartening of a generation of idealists, who struck out to change things, and watching as that struggle got buried, and never actually took hold. By the late 60’s and early 70’s we had become a nation haunted by that period in time when so many believed in a dream, only to watch it fall apart, like a person being chopped to pieces under a whirring chainsaw. None matched the unbridled fury, the primal scream of disgust and anger that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre delivered. All at once, the young people of a generation are painted as idiots, ego-centric assholes willing to mock one another and leave those less fortunate behind as they seek their own personal pleasures. And by films end, we are reminded, that it’s all just business as usual as an ancient old man in a suit and tie sucks the blood from the tip of the new generation’s finger tip. The message is clear, welcome to the American Nightmare, don’t expect to ever wake up.

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a true work of absolute terror. A story pitch perfectly told, well acted, beautifully shot and fantastically edited. I could go on all day about Texas Chainsaw Massacre being one of the premiere achievements in outlaw independent filmmaking, but the results speak for themselves.  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is now, 40 years later, considered a film classic and a masterpiece of the horror genre. All these decades later and it has not lost an ounce of it’s power to drive it’s audience to the brink of their sanity. To this day, as Leatherface dances with his chainsaw and the sun rises over rural America, just as the film cuts to black, dead silence, I still have to catch my breath every time.  40 years on, and we’re still feeling the the influence of that idyllic summer afternoon drive that became a nightmare. The most bizarre crime in the annals of American history. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

I’m giving The Texas Chainsaw Massacre LEGENDARY status aka: Infinite Dumpster Nuggets

Stay Trashy!

-Root

12
Oct
14

Lala: Devil Girl of the Month, October 2014

Happy October, Gang! The Primal Root here, excited beyond compare to introduce you all to our gorgeous, wicked and ravishing October Devil Girl of the Month, Lala. Before you feast your eyes on her phenomenal photo spread, let’s take a moment to get to know this femme fatale with a taste for all things horror.
The Primal Root: Lala, it’s an honor to feature you as our October Devil Girl of the Month! Tell us a little bit about yourself, what you’re up, what your interests are.
Lala: I’m really tickled pink to be picked for October’s Devil Girl, thank you muchly! A bit about myself… Well I’m 24 years of age, born ‘n bred in Milwaukee, WI. I have 2 years of nursing classes under my belt, but I plan on going back for criminal psychology next year.  I live with my boyfriend and his family, although we are scraping together our checks so we can rent an apartment of our own. To have our own space, a place we can truly call our home would be a beautiful thing. I work at my pop’s metal polishing and fabricating shop. Doing mostly grunt work, cleaning, inventory, etc..Interests. Dedicating entire days to nothing but lethargy and horror films, but that’s definitely a given. I’m a voracious reader and anything that is set before me I will devour. Visiting my gramama – she has been like a second mother to me and she is currently living her final days on Earth. Spending time with my boyfriend’s daughter. She’s damn near 2 years old and has a big and bright personality. I take pleasure in the little things. An afternoon with my family or even sharing a comfortable silence with my fella.
 TPR: With Halloween fast approaching, I was wondering if you’d care to share your favorite Trashy flicks that get you in the mood?

Lala: Trashyflicks that get me in the mood aye? The People Under the Stairs. Red Dragon. Excision. Mum & Dad. Natural Born Killers. I Spit on Your Grave. Suspiria. Blind Beast. The Woman. Trick ‘R Treat.

TPR: Excellent selections, my dear! Got a costume in mind for this year’s Samhain?

Lala: For this year’s Samhain, I was spit balling with a few different costume ideas. Perhaps Akasha from Queen of the Damned or Coraline. Maybe Cruella DeVille. Cleopatra mayhaps! I’m quite scatterbrained on the subject. Ha
TPR: Oh WOW! Chomping at the bit to see you do those costumes justice. What song should the viewing audience at home listen to while admiring your Devil Girl shots?
Lala: Hmmmm, I think the song Number One Crush by Garbage would be a swell song to listen to when viewing my Devil Girl shots
 TPR: Sexy AND creepy! Couldn;t have picked a better song, myself! Gotta ask, which cinematic boogieman do you hope you’ll run into this Halloween?
Lala: Without a doubt, I would love nothing more than to run into Leatherface on Devil’s Night. That would be a Devil Girl’s wet dream.
 TPR: You heard her, Leatherface. Get that chainsaw reved up my friend and keep your eyes peeled this Halloween for One Ms. Lala Devil Girl! Alright, Lala, send us off with a favorite Trashy movie quote. Lala: Here’s my trashy quote, the final thought, “Come and get it, you undead sack of shit.” Bubba Ho-Tep
 Well, you heard The Devil Girl, come and get it! Enjoy Lala’s sinful, seductive, bewitching October Devil Girl of the Month spread! Hope you have one very sick and twisted October, Gang and a Trashy Halloween!
Stay Trashy!
-Root
Photos by Lala
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05
Oct
14

Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things (1972)

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a Primal Root written review

Before the man ended up tackling truly awful films like Baby Geniuses and Karate Dog, late filmmaker Bob Clark made some well loved and enduring films. Hell, they play his film A Christmas Story at least 700 times on every cable station from November to New Year’s Day, and his horror film Black Christmas is held up beside John Carpenter’s Halloween as one of the most suspenseful and horrifying slasher films ever made. The deeply unsettling Vietnam era horror film, Deathdream He even created the legendary Trash Cinema Classic, Porky’s back in 1982! The man proved he could do it all and with pizazz. For my money, one of the man’s finest and most under appreciated works is one of his very first. the 1973 horror/comedy Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things.

Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things is the tale of a troupe of hippie thespians who travel out to a secluded burial island off the coast of Florida for an adventure at the witching hour.  Their leader and owner of the theater company is Alan (Alan Ormsby) a complete megalomaniac who take much pleasure in putting his friends down, sexual harassment and has a penchant for loud clothing. He leads his troupe to this island with the promise that he will raise the dead. The gang catches on quick and thinks it’s all a ruse to scare the shit out of them, which proves to be the case as they are attacked by two ghouls that turn out to be fellow actors in pancake makeup. However, soon after this bit of fun, Alan ends up ordering his thespian clan to dig up an actual corpse, that of a deceased fellow named Orville, before actually promising to call up a curse from Satan himself and bring the dead back to life.

After several false starts, the magic incantation actually does work and the undead residents of the island cemetery rise from their graves to devour the usual rag tag group of acid casualties, witchy women and squares in bell bottoms, but this doesn’t happen till nearly the end of the movie. In fact, the majority of the film is spent highlighting the petty power struggles and squabbling that takes place between this group comprised of hand picked members of the Flower Power/Free Love community. Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things peels back the facade and takes a long, hard look at the hippie dream of peace, love and community and how this counterculture failed on delivering it’s idealistic vision of a better, new society. Power games, sexism, and sadistic threats are what dominate this unpleasant and corrupt group of young people. In short, this is no longer a utopian world of change, but an exact replica of the society they we seeking to be an alternative to.

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Just beyond the caustic satire of the counterculture is a dark sense of melancholy and despair which is fully embodied in the character of Alan. The villainous Alan does not believe in traditional Flower Power, but espouses on the pointlessness of our very existence, “The dead are losers. If anyone hasn’t earned the right for respect, it’s the dead…Man is a machine that manufactures manure.”  Alan takes great pride in devaluing those around him. Calling his leading man a “slab of meat” and mocking Satan himself in his incantations. Alan lives in a world without value or truth. He even states that he will take Orville home to feed to his dogs and then use his bones as Christmas ornaments. Sure, he might be saying this all for shock value, but from the reaction of those around him you get the impression this is not an act, but who Alan really is.  So, in the end, after Alan spends so much of the film waxing his nihilistic poetry, exposing the pointlessness of life and the non existence of God or Satan, it makes a kind of deeply sick sense that the dead should return to life. Rising like malfunctioning machines comprised of rotted flesh and old bones, moving about as a parody of the living’s pointless, expendable existence.

Instead of embracing these walking dead as the ultimate substantiation of his empty, nihilistic beliefs, Alan does everything in his power to save his own ass. In one of the film;s most memorable moments of absolutely shocking and comical pessimism, Alan and a female friend run up the stairs for safety, followed closely by the flesh hungry dead. Alan, in a moment of complete selfishness, pushes this woman down the stairs and into the arms of the flesh eaters coming for them. The actions stops for a moment as the woman and zombies alike stop in their tracks and stare at Alan, as if astonished at his loathsome cowardice, before taking this young woman off to be eaten.

This is where that vision peace and love got us. Not the most cheerful of thoughts to consider.

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Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things is one brutal in it’s sick, drastically dark satire, but it’s still a fantastic comedy. Filled with quirky performances, snappy dialog, and some fantastic one liners.  On a near non-existent budget, Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things manages to be both completely entertaining and utterly engrossing  while reminding you why you dread running into those kids you used to hang out with in drama club back in high school. The thespians are all very real, very human characters and the zombies, in cheap makeup and thrift store clothes, are vivid, nasty customers with facial expressions registering rage and hate rather than the typical benign indifference of a Romero zombie. After being rudely awaken,  these dead folks are back to settle a score.  The makers of this film use their limited budget to their advantage and deliver an intelligent, bleak look into a counterculture that never did take, died,  and simply rotted away like flesh from the bone.  In the end, it’s Death getting the last laugh.

I give Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things THREE AND A HALF Dumpster Nuggets.

Stay Trashy!

-Root

01
Oct
14

Ravenous (1999)

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a Rebecca Keel review

I had the pleasure of seeing ‘Ravenous’ for the first time recently.  This 1999 slow-burn horror film starring Guy Pearce,  Robert Carlyle,  and David Arquette surprised me in a lot of ways.  I didn’t know much about the film when I sat down to watch it;  I’d seen it recommended here and there on the Internet,  and I had a vague idea that it was about cannibalism,  but beyond that,  the whole thing was an impressive surprise.  The general consensus seems to be that it’s never gotten the attention it deserves,  and while I definitely agree with that,  it seems like its own quirkiness has been instrumental in keeping it a well-kept secret from the mainstream horror scene.

Cinematically,  ‘Ravenous’ represents the collision of several elements which don’t typically walk around holding hands.  Its pacing,  character development style,  and quite a lot of its cinematographic choices feel more like a classic Western than a modern horror film,  and apparently I was far from the first to make this connection (Jacob Knight over at nerdbastards.com highlights the role of elements from the Western genre as being fundamental to the film:  http://nerdbastards.com/2014/06/03/retro-review-ravenous-is-an-even-better-western-than-it-is-a-horror-film/ ).  It’s also filmed in a retrospective style that often makes it easy to forget that it came out the same year as ‘The Matrix’.  This combination of Western genre film construction and old-fashioned filming style successfully tricked my brain into repeatedly thinking I was watching a film much older than this one actually is.  Meanwhile,  the gore and makeup effects have an offhand realism that reminds me of sweeping,  dramatic war films. The kind of horror story it presents is in tune with the film’s style:  it’s constructed with fairly limited plot twists and instead of relying on cheap startle techniques,  it tells a thoughtful tale which stayed with me long after I watched it,  enticing my mind to play with the sharp edges of its implications.

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The film’s setting was quite unusual as well.  The Mexican-American War,  which went down during the mid-1800s before the outbreak of the American Civil War,  is far from a typical time period setting for any genre of film,  and it seems even more bizarre as the backdrop for a horror flick.  Yet the film’s writer,  Ted Griffin,  and its director,  Antonia Bird,  made good use of the features of the setting to generate genuine feelings of isolation and desperation which sometimes feel forced in horror films set in the Information Age.  Utilizing Native American culture and legends gave the story an air of authenticity that was hard to dispel and made for convincing storytelling of a caliber I typically only associate with a few horror novelists (such as Dan Simmons,  whose historical-fiction horror is some of the best in the field).

Yet it’s easy to see how fans of mainstream horror could lose interest in an artistic film like ‘Ravenous’.  The film’s  score is at times grating,  though the effect seems intentional and helps drive home the events playing out on-screen,  while at other times idyllic background music which seems like it would be more at home in ‘Little House on the Prairie’ has a jarring effect when taken alongside the foreshadowed events and the horrors that have already taken place.  Such decisions can alienate viewers who prefer and expect a more conventional film score,  though this technique is increasing in popularity (or at least acceptance) among mainstream viewers.  The pacing of the plot’s revelations requires patience fans of films like ‘Saw’ and ‘The Grudge’ aren’t always willing to grant a film,  and the lack of monster makeup might make it hard for some to swallow a film that is,  frankly,  set up to be a type monster movie.  But for fans of old-fashioned horror,  ‘Ravenous’ has a lot to offer.  Many elements of the film would feel at home in a story by Lovecraft,  Matheson,  or Poe.  And the film’s unabashed frankness and realism in the face of the supernatural leaves me hovering in that delicate space between belief and disbelief which is the hardest form of terror to shake off.

28
Sep
14

Little Monsters & The Return of the Living Dead: A Trash Cinema Collective Double Feature!

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WHO: The Trash Cinema Collective‘s The Primal Root
WHAT: DOUBLE FEATURE! Little Monsters (1989) and The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
WHEN: Saturday, October 4th starting at 9pm
WHERE: Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack
WHY: Because it’s October, we’re getting in the Halloween spirit, we’re keeping Tallahassee Trashy, and because we love you.

As Always, NO COVER!

Hey Gang, The Primal Root here, and I am thrilled to be hosting a Trashy Halloween inspired double bill featuring two of my all time favorites! We’ll be starting the evening off with the Fred Savage, Howie Mandel children’s coming of age whimsical horror comedy from 1989, “Little Monsters” and following it up with the nihilistic, hysterical, punk rock brain muncher, 1985’s “The Return of the Living Dead!”

It will be a night of unadulterated ghoulishly Trashy pleasures as we take a trip down memory lane with two horror classics just in time for Halloween Season!

So, come on out and join your friends from The Trash Cinema Collective at Bird’s Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack Saturday October 4th, grab a pitcher of your favorite ice cold beer, chow down on a juicy, beautiful burger and brace yourself for Monsters! Reanimated corpses! Chemical spills! Pee drinking! Cat food scarfing! Lawn Dart Throwing! Nekkid Tombstone Dancing! Rabid Weasels! Subtle Nazi references! Prosthetic female crotches (referred to by actress Linnea Quigley as “The Plug” *shudders*)! And plenty of nasty delights, perfect for for kicking off Halloween 2014!

See you there!

Stay Trashy!
-Root




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